Name Change Vent

 Holy fuck. Hopefully whoever sees this never has to go through anything like this.

This year, I changed my name. Legally, the process was fairly simple. However, using that name for anything has been a 3-month long battle. Right now, I'm in a 45-67 minute line for the USPS to get back to me so I can tell them for the millionth time that they fucked me over entirely. But hey, let's rewind so you can get the full picture. Because there is no fucking help for this scenario. When it happens, you are absolutely alone. So I just want other people to know three things:
1) this happens and I have it easy in relativity
2) any trans person you've met that has legally changed their name has probably gone through something equally stupid and degrading
3) if you have ever thought about changing your name, trans or otherwise, this is going to be a good read

I'm not trying to scare people who are thinking about changing their name, here. Still, I was unaware of just how stupid this would be so just don't go into the process thinking it will be a cakewalk. It surely should be and maybe it is for many. It has been my experience that I have pretty much only heard horror stories about this sort of thing.

I'm not going to give away too many details because I don't like disclosing even a general location. I live in the USA and that's all the information you need for this story anyway. To start the process off, you need to figure out what your local county clerk wants for this process to go smoothly. Part of that is money. Not like the wad of cash the DMV forces you to hand over either. We're talking triple digits and it's like that in most states.

DISCLAIMER:
Do NOT take the rest of this as the absolute truth or think that it is universal. Different states have different procedural steps and necessary credentials. This is how it worked for *me* and it paints a generally accurate picture but that doesn't mean it will be the same in whatever state (or hell, certainly country) that you're trying to do this in. Alright, that's out of the way now.

So how I thought it worked based on what the state says online was you send them a filled out name change form, a valid copy of a legal ID (driver's license works), and then they send you more information on what the fee is and what your next steps are. NOPE! They sent me a you-fucked-up form weeks later saying "hey dumbass, you didn't even give us our check, you cunt. You also need a notary. Geez." And I want to just make it clear here: fucking nowhere on the official government site did it mention how much the fee was. Nowhere. So I printed out the form again, filled out the one minuscule box I didn't think I needed to do, got all that notarized, and drove back downtown to put that envelope in the same goddamn box. Yeah, the USPS has fucked me over more than the average person can probably imagine so if I can hand deliver something important and achieve the same hypothetical result, I'm driving. This time it went through. To my surprise, it only took like a week for them to get back to me with that chunky envelope. What's in the chunky envelope? A form saying "you did it, this is your name now, and you have ten days from this filed date to get that to the DMV". There are also four signed copies of an official form saying that this is my name now and it can be changed in whatever system. This sounds pretty straightforward but if it were, I wouldn't be making this furious blog.

Ten days from the filed date does not exempt how long it takes for the USPS to get that letter to you. In my case, this left me with seven days and it was before the weekend. You know, that two-day period where I can't do anything driver's license-related. Now normally, you take one of those copies the clerk gives you and tell the DMV people to update your driver's license with your new name. NOT WHERE I LIVE! You *need* a social security card that reflects your new name. Well gee, I gotta grab one of them anyway, yeah?

For reasons never fully confirmed by the USPS (they will not fucking respond to me), I have had mail from the SSA come up in informed delivery but not show up in my mailbox at all. I have filed cases for them and digitally notified them separately that I never received their mail to which the USPS might as well have said "sucks to suck, bitch". This would already be frustrating but in order to get a name change on your official social security card, you need to send in some other official ID. It can't be a copy. So I sent my birth certificate. I still don't know where that is either and there were originally two envelopes that came up in informed delivery. I'm sure the second one was just a letter wishing me a happy Halloween and not an irreplaceable document.

"Well, calm the fuck down. Yeah, that's frustrating but it's just a name. You'll get it eventually" you may be thinking as you read up to this point. Well without a social security card I can't get my new driver's license and without either of those things, I'm pretty well fucked on identifying myself with my new name without seeming "fraudulent". I love the irony and I can't wait for someone to try to tell me I'm being fraudulent for using my deadname that, believe me, I do not want anymore. This includes banking information. This means I can't update it with my current employer so I'm still deadnamed at least once a week. To clarify, I can give them a release form but then they are sending the health benefits and money information from one name to an account with a different one. I know this company is too fucking stupid to not fuck that up once so I'm not even trying it. They already occasionally fuck up our normal pay. That same release form (the SS-3288) can't be used to make a new bank account. There is another reason I don't want to get into for why I need a new bank account and can't just update the name on that account. Since I don't have the social security card, I also can't update my name with my place of residence. As such, I can't officially file with my new name to the USPS. I think that's why the mail carrier refuses to put my social security envelopes in my mailbox. Or so I thought. A few weeks later, they put in some other fucker's mail in there. It's not anyone that even lives in the building. I have no idea who that guy is. But it showed up in informed delivery, then showed up in my physical fucking mailbox. So mail for Stranger McWhothefuck; the address matches so shove it on in there. Really important looking mail for Ayden Iona; mistake, don't put it in the mailbox.

"Why are you freaking out about this now? It's been months, idiot", you may be thinking now. Because every case I file with the USPS either gets completely ignored or completely ignored and then they send me a survey asking how they did. This means that they are systematically ignoring me and how the fuck do you get the USPS's attention without suing them? I guess you don't. Or you keep spamming them for three months and hope they finally give you what you want. That's where I am at now. It seems I have exhausted every other avenue and in between official complaints, I think about how if I were a rich prick, I could probably tell Daddy "I want to change my name to just Cheesecake" and I probably wouldn't have to pay jack shit. I'd have a new name by the weekend. 

"Then talk to the local Social Security office". Mm. Good idea. So I tried that and the lady that answered thought I was blaming them for the USPS losing it so she was kind of passive-aggressive and hostile with me at first. I'm sure many idiots have done that same thing but I wasn't so like, maybe calm down. I told her "well, I'm just checking to see what you think was in those envelopes based on my story. I know it's not on your end that they are lost, I just want to make sure I should be freaking out or if that mail could be anything other than my social security card and birth certificate." She said she couldn't imagine it being anything else, which was genuinely helpful. Now I know my outrage was justified. That call was almost two months ago now. Actually, it might have been more than that, I'm not looking at my call log.

I swear this tale is almost over. Well, ya know, "to be continued" more than "over" but you know what I mean.

After that phone call, I bug USPS, actually begging them to give me my stuff or at least telling me where it is. Nothing. Absolutely no response. Not even the stupid survey.

"Okay, that is bad. But it's so bad that you should just call the SSA now. Stupid." Hm. Well, that's what I did a few hours ago. So let's recap as we approach that subtopic:

"Hey USPS, you said you had two social security envelopes for me but I never got them. Where are they?"
"How did we do?"

"Hey local social security office, is that envelope my stuff?"
"We didn't lose your stuff but that's almost definitely your stuff. Bug the USPS."

"Hey USPS, I'm screwed without that stuff, can you please give it to me?"
"You have mail from Spectrum!"

"Hey SSA, it's been months and nobody is helping me. I'm assuming they send back mail so where is that?"
"Sir, I'm in California. That's between you and the local office."
"The local office said USPS has it."
"Look man, that's not my job, the USPS has to have it or they sent it back to the local office. I can reissue one, that's it."

"Hey USPS--"
"Your wait time will be between 45 minutes and 1 hour and 7 minutes."

So yeah. Cue "Roundabout" by Yes because its title is fitting and that's where I'm at for now. I just needed to type this out because I'm sick of bumming out my friends all the time with this and I don't have therapy enough for this shit. I'm so fucking angry and I don't have a big enough power on my side to help me. I can do the rest of the legwork but I need my social security card. And honestly, where in the f u c k is my birth certificate? After so many weeks of the USPS just not responding to me, did they lose my stuff? Did the delivery fucker just steal my identity? Why is this such a hassle?

I have finally talked to a human with a new service request. Hopefully, this one works in my favor or at least lets me know what to do next.

Anyway, I'll post another blog to update how this story ends when it ends. Or if it gets crazy stupid even beyond this and I'm still fighting this battle in 2021 (which honestly seems likely at this point), I'll give an interesting update on this. Until then ["Roundabout" bass and acoustic guitar]

Randomrings Stream to Randomrings Let's Plays

Yeesh, this blog has really become just stuff about stuff I'm making or not making hasn't it? Ouchie. Well, here's another.

My original plan was to record while I stream so I can make a funny little video out of a 2-6 hour live stream. I have found this to be tedious and personally maybe too self-involved.

My new mentality is to convert a stream into a Randomrings Let's Play video if other people's voices are present. Like. Not in text form. I have had friends drop in the chat for hours and they do make the stream entertaining. I just think it creates a weird dynamic for RLP. Part of what I like about editing let's plays is this organic feeling stripped into bite-sized segments so there aren't too many lulls. Something about having to zoom in on text all the time kind of gets rid of that sentiment completely. I could just read the chat text in post and do silly voices but that's going to get old for me and for the audience after a while. I also don't want to start doing that with people I don't know that wind up in my stream chat. I'm going to end up doing something stupid or making someone feel self-conscious. It's not worth it.

Plus, as much as I don't watch stream archives very often myself, I still have stream archives. The moments that work aren't completely gone.

There is still the Resident Evil Zero stream that I have edited down from 3.5-4 hours of gameplay to like 30 minutes. The only reason I haven't released it is because I want to make it even shorter. That and, admittedly, I have not even started on the thumbnail art. This video has two of my friends in chat but not with voice. It just feels awkward regardless of the fact that I zoomed in on their text when they talk.

Also, I stream every week and when it comes to let's plays, I know what destructive roads my brain will go down. It will get to a point where I try to edit everything into a let's play. This will make my streams feel more like means to an end and less special for the audience. This also will drive me fucking nuts considering how much other stuff I am juggling in my fleeting spare time.

On a slightly related note, I have stopped playing Final Fantasy XIV as often. I fell into a real slump there for a bit recently.

So from now on, I'm only editing Randomrings streams into RLP videos when there are multiple voices to be had. There may be an exception or two down the road but this is my mentality going forward.

See you on the ol' YouTube or live on Twitch.