Byleth in Smash/ Smash roster rant

Two things I want to talk about here and they're both related.

Byleth in Smash

Okay.

To start, I haven't played Three Houses. Honestly, its pacing looks obnoxious to me but the game as a whole looks cool. I think there is a lot more going on under the surface to appreciate despite being an RPG that seems to spend way more time on the "RP" than the "G". As such, my favorite thing about Byleth is that the man-Byleth was voiced by a date rapist and they patched him out of the fucking game. Beyond that, Byleth looks like another blank slate, boring-ass, anime-inspired Fire Emblem protagonist. The thing I find so boring about this is that what little Fire Emblem I played has shown me that Fire Emblem actually does have characters with plenty of reasons to care about them. I don't remember much but I remember really liking Lyn. Before Assist Trophies were a thing, I thought she would be a cool playable character. I'm okay with her as an assist trophy. From what I understand of Marth and at least Roy, they're cool. The thing I liked about playing Lyn's game (Fire Emblem for GBA, I think was all it was called in the States) is that there were a lot of different classes and each seemed to fit the character in terms of plot as well. Their personalities fit without being completely predictable or cliche.

I'm not saying Ike, Robin, Corrin, or Byleth are cliche or anything. I honestly don't know but it really seems like each one is just an ad for a previously existing Fire Emblem product. Ike is a good example of this because Path of Radiance (the Gamecube one with Ike) was a big deal and they could hype up new customers for Radiant Dawn (the Wii one with Ike). Robin was the playable character in Awakening, which was a big deal for the 3DS and for the series as a whole because the series wasn't doing so hot financially before Awakening pulled a full 180. In case no one remembers, Corrin is the epitomic example of this because Corrin's game wasn't even out yet. Their existence in the Smash for Wii U/3DS was an advertisement.

Here's the thing: I get that everyone is sick of a bunch of anime-style characters with similar aesthetic designs being shoved into these games. I think the main problem is that, with the exception of Robin, they keep picking the protagonists. The reason this is a bad idea and the reason why Robin is an exception is because some sword buddy is a good middle-ground class for learning the basics of an RTS like Fire Emblem. For a game like Smash where you can play as a wide variety of different kinds of characters out of the box, this is just boring. I love Roy and I like playing as Marth too. Always have. But even that choice in Melee was questionable, even to an adolescent version of me. So Robin is the exception to all this because at least Robin brought something new to the table.

HOWEVER
The Fire Emblem characters have become even more diverse since Brawl. Yes, Corrin is kind of another anime swordfighter on the surface, especially to someone who never played Fates (me). But what other character in the game plays like Corrin? None. There are similarities but I kind of like that the counter and other moves kind of subtly reminds the player that this is a Fire Emblem character; that they exist in that same universe. Byleth, in my opinion, fits in the same vein. If this were a Fox/Falco/Wolf scenario, I would 100% understand everyone's frustration. Byleth looks like an alternate costume for Marth or Lucina (which by the way, people didn't complain this much about fucking Lucina and I find that heinous) but they play like a unique character in the sense that they come with a lot of unique mechanics that set them apart.

I am not saying no one should complain. I am not saying everyone should complain. I just feel like Byleth is a pretty solid addition and I think this soapbox comes off a lot soapier from someone who has no emotional attachment to Three Houses.

Which leads to:

My Weird Hot Take on the Smash Roster:

I love Smash Ultimate. If I was in charge of a new Smash game's roster though, a lot of people would be pissed.

So Smash Ultimate is massive, right? Instead of forcing a gigantic amount of people to do all of this balancing work and a bunch of other added details to a list of 90+ characters, maybe add a massive amount of stuff to do with crazy attention to detail with a smaller list of like... 25-40 characters???

In Smash 64 and Melee, there were not many characters representing each brand. Smash 64 and Melee also seemed to have their own aesthetics and world, making it feel like these characters and related properties traveled to that world. I love that about Smash 64 and Melee. Brawl did the opposite by having a fuckload of IPs get merged into one world. With the Subspace Emissary, this felt purposeful. Now listen carefully: I really like Smash for 3DS and I love Smash for Wii U and Ultimate. Now continue listening: those games have no fucking world. Even with World of Light, they have no fucking world. There is barely any aesthetic to the games other than in the UI. Even then, the UI of 3DS, Wii U, and Ultimate don't look that much different.

So I would make a game where Mario, Link, Pikachu, and a bunch of other fuckers come into the world of Smash 7 (yes, I'm still counting Smash 3DS as an actual Smash game even though it was basically a $40 ad for Smash Wii U). 7mash would have pretty much one character from each major IP, perhaps three characters at the very most. Even though, I would probably remove some from various icon symbols like ROB, Pichu, as much as I love Falco probably Falco.

This would get rid of complaints like "oh my god, another fucking Fire Emblem character?" But, it would add more room for useful inclusions of all of those Fire Emblem characters in a more useful role than just being spirits or stickers. Maybe that could even be done in a way that feels fun and not as broken as the spirit system. There could be more development time and budget put into different modes and complexities within. They could bring back Smash Run. Since they apparently aren't ever going to do that otherwise. This way, also, the Fire Emblem clan can keep saayyyyyy Marth and Robin. In relativity, Marth would feel like a unique anomaly of a character, like he did in Melee, as opposed to how Marth felt in every game after Brawl. This ALSO leaves more room for MORE alternate costumes, i.e. Marth and Lucina in the same character profile, just as alternate suits. I would even want to do that with Mario and Luigi honestly but that will never happen because of Nintendo tradition.


So that's today's Smash rant. I openly welcome Byleth. I already paid for them anyway. See you guys when I become a huge hypocrite when they announce like Mega Mewtwo X or Deoxys or something.

Pokemon Sword and Shield Expansions

My dinner is done heating up in 3.5 minutes so I'm going to throw this up real fast.

I feel like $29.99 for expansions of two games that should NOT be two games is a fucking crime. It isn't but maybe it should be. Like, wow. What blows my mind is that so many people are praising the hell out of this and I feel like it's a robbery.

I haven't played Sword or Shield. I probably never will. I had my fun with Gen 1-6 and I'm pretty burnt out. Maybe there is something in Gen 8 that makes this not horrible but I'm not seeing it.

I will say though... those Galarian legendary birds look fucking good.

But seriously, it's 2020. Do you know how many actual GAMES you can get for $29.99 and probably still have money left over for a just as substantial game? Hell, getting a physical copy of a better Pokemon game will only cost about ten bucks more depending on which one it is. PokeFuck!

Okay. Dinner's ready. Sorry that this is the first blog post I made this year. What a year already.