12/05/2016

My PC Gaming Dilemma

I have had a Steam account since about early 2015, and haven't purchased a single game on it until the weekend of Black Friday. There was a massive sale and I got a bunch of games; some I have been familiar with and loved for years, others I have always wanted to try, and then some that my friends really wanted me to play online with them. It has been a good ride (despite PC troubleshooting bullshit) and I still haven't even tried Chivalry, BattleBlock Theater, or Rivals of Aether. Soon.

Another sale item I purchased via Steam while it was discounted for a limited time was not a game, but software called liteCAM. One of my main reasons for avoiding PC gaming like the plague is the same reason I only have eight 3DS games: I try to stick to games that I can capture footage for and talk about on the channel with functioning capture software that I have obtained legally. Now I have. I haven't done too much with it yet, but regardless liteCAM seems to be pretty reliable. Now that I have the power to record PC game footage at high resolution and frame rate without feeling dirty... should I? Or will I just feel dirty for different reasons?

Console games are typically pretty easy to review. Reviewing any game requires the reviewer to write a script that acknowledges the main focus of the game they are reviewing, or point out if it seems to have no real focus or contradicts its own ideals. A review in itself must also have a focus; a point that it is trying to convey made with multiple arguments that could probably make ten-minute video topics by themselves. Console games are usually relatively easy to form a consensus on through one playthrough and a swift drive-by of any extra content. This is because console games, especially older games like those on Super Nintendo, PS1, Nintendo 64, are designed to end. They have a main goal for you to accomplish in some respect, even more open-ended games like Animal Crossing or games with very vague plot-portrayal like Soul Calibur. Because the game's content is purposefully finite, you can make a critical analysis that has points made to hold up if someone were to look at our review five or maybe even ten years later. Your horrible jokes about Knuckles the Echidna or ad-lib rants about modern gaming philosophy might not hit as hard, but your underlying message should. Was that too specific to me? Yes. Let's move on.

The reason I said all that is to pose the question to the alternative: how do you make a concise conclusion on a game designed to live forever? A lot of PC gaming differs from most console gaming in the sense that things like open betas or MMO's are far more common. This line is being broken down year after year nowadays, but that's not the point of this post. For example of what the hell I am trying to say, I will bring up Smite. I love Smite. Smite isn't the best game in the world or anything, but it is absolutely my favorite MOBA and that along with League of Legends were admittedly the two games that restored my faith in PC gaming and showed me that the concept wasn't really as scary as I thought being raised on Crash Bandicoot: Warped, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, and Super Smash Bros., ergo games that just work when you turn them on. Smite is designed to keep going. Your only goals are to keep playing matches until you hit all of the available milestones on your account and then your incentive is to use your rewards from hitting those milestones to keep playing more matches, upon which you can play bigger ranked matches... so more matches. Playing matches to play different matches so you can be considered good enough to play another subset of matches. See where I'm going with this? Animal Crossing games have goals that you can tackle at your own pace, but because there are no microtransactions and there is a finite list of things to gather and do, Animal Crossing can be "completed". The player can get to a point in Animal Crossing where doing anything would be, by proxy, doing something in the game they have already done. Because Smite is designed to constantly be patched and periodically add new characters, skins, and potentially game modes, Smite is a bit harder to review. See what I mean yet?

When you review a game, you are reviewing an experience. When I say "Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus has interesting platforming choices and charming characters that make the game a unique experience", that is something that can probably be argued pretty easily in the year 2040. If my review said "Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus holds up to today's standards" (which I think I actually did do that), that statement will eventually become obsolete in at least one respect, but probably more because that's how time and manifest destiny work. But you can say the former statement about Sly Cooper 1 because the game, whether on PS2 or the PS3 remaster, is not going to change. It's standard of scrutiny may change, but what has been published on disc or digitally distributed on the PS3's network will still play out as the same game. The Smite of today will not be the same Smite two years from now, and that statement will probably apply until Hi-Rez abandons the game completely. 

The same I feel goes for a lot of indie titles. Two specific examples of games I got on Steam recently are Skullgirls and Bombernauts (both of which are super fun and impressive and if you haven't played them, you should at least find some way to give them a whirl). Skullgirls currently has two versions on Steam: Skullgirls and Skullgirls Endless Beta. Endless Beta is what it sounds like. So that's another game that is constantly maintained. In this case, even reviewing the old version seems a little pointless in some cases doesn't it? Or at least in the way I review. Bombernauts is also constantly being worked on as well. In fact, it is labelled as "early access" as of this post. What's the point of making a full review on a game that the developers have openly declared unfinished?

So the question still stands on how many of these games I will actually make a full Randomrings Reviews installment about and if doing so would tweak the integrity of the series. I haven't even mentioned mods in this post. That's a whole other field! A whole other sport! I wish this blog post came to an actual answer for myself to give anyone who reads this closure, but in this case, you really more just witnessed an argument I have had with myself since 2014 or so. Yes. I planned a Smite review in the very, very early days of Randomrings Channel. The main excuse I gave myself for not doing it was because I did not have a way to capture footage efficiently at the time, but even then I pictured a world where I did have that ability and still wondered if I should review a game with somewhat amorphous design.

On the other hand, I did get some games that I think (keyword there: "think") would still be about the same principle as doing a console review like I have been for a while. Closure is a game that greatly interests me that I have been having a great time with since I finally re-obtained it on Steam (long story). Broforce seems like a viable target but I don't know how much to say about it.

Oh well. That's my rant on whether or not I will actually review PC games in the future. It's a strong maybe but at least now I have the option to do it if something really strikes me... like Closure.

10/24/2016

The Nintendo Switch Both Is and Is Not Worthy of Freaking Out

So uhh... here's the trailer, for the five of you who haven't seen it yet:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5uik5fgIaI&feature=youtu.be

What even is this?

So it's a cool idea, kind of, I won't lie. Even I am not that jaded. The idea of a console that you can both play on your monitor at home and on the go is really cool. It's a great idea! But it is already painfully obvious in the trailer that this is not going to work the way that Nintendo thinks it will in execution. Yet everyone I follow on social media seems to be pretty on board... like... really on board... like already convinced that they are going to buy one. Why?

I'm a fan of handheld consoles and home consoles. I was slightly skeptical of the Wii U, but now being an owner of one for over a year, I love it. Did it do anything incredibly groundbreaking? No, but it certainly functions and the gamepad, depending on the game, adds for extra comfort to gameplay, not just gimmicky control schemes like the Wii. Good god, the Wii... I also love the 3DS, as in the 3DS is one of my favorite systems of all time, and I think one of the most underrated. I play my 3DS pretty much every night before bed. I have put more than 200 hours into Pokemon Omega Ruby and still find ways to have fun with it. I also have the guilty pleasure of frequenting Animal Crossing: New Leaf, and will say that Kid Icarus: Uprising is one of the best games I have ever played.

That paragraph was to assure you that I am not a console elitist, handheld elitist, not a fanboy of any other console (I spend plenty of time playing PS3, PS4, and retro consoles; one could say too much time), and certainly not PC elitist. I just like games. I like control scheme comfort. I like practicality infused with originality.

Now it's time to bitch... about THE SWITCH!

I had to come out of the gate with that one. Someone had to do it.

PART 1: IT BECOMES A TONY STARK SCREEN THINGY ON THE GO

Okay fine. But: The trailer shows that IT CAN'T HANDLE IT'S OWN FUCKING GAME! Breath of the Wild can play in 1080p at 60fps on the Wii U and the Wii U isn't even state of the art (technically). It plays on a Nintendo Switch version, supposedly fine, and can be played without a gamepad peripheral, which could be cool. But then the guy in the trailer takes the little clippy things, and puts them on the Iron Man touch screen. This is not where I went ballistic. In fact, I kept pretty calm throughout until after the trailer when I processed what I had just seen. He plays Breath of the Wild and it has noticeable lag! In the damn trailer! Where the screen is edited on to avoid glare. Out of all the capture footage that Nintendo has of their own game, they chose that clip to use. This either means that someone really fucked up in the editing department by picking out that clip, or that this was one of the best instances they had to show. Really think about that process for a second. It has to be one of those two things: fuck up in editing, or fuck up in initial design of the product they are trying (arguably desperately) to sell. This is further proven by the fact that there is motion happening around the Switch in this scene, and it isn't glitching out, so it isn't a technical error on the video; it is a technical error of the Switch in a controlled environment where it should absolutely be able to run a game efficiently, considering that is one of its main selling points.

But beyond this, and this may be one of the key points to take away from this, the Nintendo Switch will also run at 1080p and 60fps, or at least it has not yet been confirmed that it can do 4k, meaning the Switch is basically a gimmicky Wii U... and the Wii U was already kind of gimmicky!

And the main thing I realized about the handheld feature, and I don't know why it took me until the girl at the end was taking it outside to realize this, there is pretty much no protection. Handheld designers: always use protection! The sides of the controller that stick into the thing look sturdy enough but the screen itself is just hanging out. I guess PSP's, PS Vita's, and 2DS's have survived such conditions, but those also have protectors made for them, whether by Nintendo or not. However, those three systems specifically were made to be one piece, whereas the Switch in this case is three pieces (the two side things and the screen module) designed to be continuously pulled apart and reconnected. Even if a protector is made for this, it's another thing you have to snap around, and since most protectors are usually made by 3rd party companies, it's safe to assume that it isn't always going to be that easy, and even if it is, this process would still be more tedious than it is to maintain certain guns. If you want to take that thing on the go anyways, it should not be that much of a hassle. On it's own, it isn't a criminal amount of a hassle. That much is successful. But if you want it to be safe from dust or any breakage, it looks like a losing game. Maybe I'm wrong.

I want to play games on a Stark Industries touch screen as much as the next guy, but until it is stable, I can wait, and seeing as Samsung has already figured out smooth-running "virtual reality", the handheld mechanic of The Switch is a bit behind its time. That's a huge letdown, considering they have been shelling it out into the rumor mill for... holy shit, has it been like two years or am I delirious?

PART 2: THEN WHAT DOES IT DO IN HOME MODE?

Time will tell. Again it seems to function based on a professionally edited trailer, but by that logic, Jabba the Hutt became real in the George Lucas bombed special editions of the original Star Wars trilogy. It seems to be a functioning game system. Personally I think the controller looks like an uncomfortable mix between the Wii U gamepad and the Ouya controller. Yeah. Remember the Ouya? People seem to like the Switch controller, and they are entitled to their opinion, and my opinion that it looks uncomfortable is invalid since it looks conventional enough and I haven't touched the thing for myself. But here's why I'm even steamed about this at all:

Because I'm a jaded asshole and I have publicly proven that I can hate something in everything.

Oh wait that's not it...
People are getting absurdly hyped over a functioning console that can play games that could hypothetically be released on the Wii U with no problem. Has the eighth console generation been such a sad mess that people are praising a console that was designed to play games? Woof. This is a great idea for someone who skipped out on the Wii U, but you expect us to buy this new, Wii U + (Wii Motion Plus reference intended) because uhh... it can detach from itself or something? Will it give us free Netflix? Like... why?

Keep in mind though that this is the perspective of a Wii U owner, so if people skipped out on the Wii U or still think that the gamepad IS the Wii U (which yes, there are still people that think that) then I guess I can see more appeal in the Switch. If you already have the eighth console generation system from Nintendo, hell even both systems if you count the 3DS, I don't see a point in getting one of these?

ALSO keep in mind, that little cartridge slot that the trailer kind of glanced over for a few seconds. That's cool, because you will be taking this thing on the go, but how does the console component know what game is in there, and further more how does it run the game? Hmm... Hmmmmmm...

PART 3: GAME LIBRARY SPECULATION

So here are the games that they show in this holy of all things holy trailer:

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
- Already announced as a Wii U game. It's not an ultimate sin to think that this could be a Twilight Princess situation, but this is not Gamecube vs Wii; this is Wii U vs. Wii U 2. Whoops. I meant Switch. In other words, if there are two "versions" of this game, they will barely be any different from each other at all, even if you take away the gamepad functionality.

That Girl at the Airport
- Okay kidding. Not even going to go there.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
- That's cool and all, but if you really liked Skyrim, you have probably already played it on PC, Xbox, or PlayStation.

A Mario Kart
- A new Mario Kart. Looks a lot like 8... which looked a lot like 7... oh god.

Basketball
- I'm not sure what it is, but I guess it's not a video game.

Some game that I admit I do not know, but obviously based on Basketball
- I guess it's some NBA game. I don't know.

New Mario
- Looks like Super Mario 3D World and Super Mario Galaxy had a baby. I don't know whether to be excited or terrified. Super Mario Galaxy is one of my favorite games of all time. Super Mario 3D World is one of the most uninspired and boring Mario games I have ever played. Even then, obviously this isn't a completely unique Mario experience at all, just from a few seconds of gameplay. Hype is very understandable, just weird that they felt the need to put this on just The Switch. Oh that's right! Because this will increase Switch sales if they make it Switch exclusive, even though it could totally be on Wii U. Got it.

Splatoon
- I actually have never played Splatoon, so I can't judge here. If it is just Splatoon, as in Wii U Splatoon, then this is dumb.

To recap:
Game that will be on Wii U, girl, game that has already been on other consoles that probably run the game smoother because of this fact, rehash, sports, game about sports, maybe rehash but certainly not a game-changer, and finally a game you can play on Wii U and probably already have several times because it has been out forever.

So far, I'm not sold, or really not understanding why everyone is so ready to jump on the bandwagon that Nintendo has glued together. I get being excited at the potential for this system, but the hype from a trailer that has basically said "what's an original and unique launch lineup?" is unwarranted. I feel like people should at least be a little skeptical, and the majority seem to be embracing complete uncertainty with open arms as if they were at a Journey cover band concert.

Not to mention again, that from a pure technical standpoint, The Switch will not be able to do much that the Wii U can't in terms of processing speed and graphics. Probably. I'm not a hardware expert.

PART 4: MULTIPLAYER COULD BE COOL IN THEORY

The controller can split into two tiny controllers, which are probably about as awkward as playing a game with a sideways Wii remote. I like playing NES games and a very select few other games on Wii and Wii U with this control scheme, but basing a whole console on this in 2016, aiming for a 2017 release, seems really dangerous bordering on stupid. Unless I am missing something incredibly vital, I can't imagine these kids at the basketball court playing an intricate basketball video game with so many commands using just a tiny joystick and a limited amount of buttons. Very limited. Being able to play something like Kirby Super Star or Ice Climber together on these tiny controllers on the go is really cool and admittedly innovative, but if we are playing something more complicated, I'm not going to want to do it on the go and break my spine looking down on it with a limited control scheme and a controller thinner than my own hand.

The other sad thing about this idea, considering it isn't really a bad idea, is that it came out in the wrong era. Even though split screen multiplayer is easier to create now, more and more developers are making games that only have online multiplayer. You won't even be able to use this feature for every single game. In most cases because of all of the third party developers that have signed on, you probably won't be able to use this feature on most of the games even if you have every Nintendo Switch game ever made. That's just speculation based on observation of course, so far we don't have many actual confirmed games yet (for a console that Nintendo supposedly wants to release soon even though we haven't known anything about it for roughly two years and still don't really know much about it now). I would hope that this system could encourage developers to refocus on split-screen and other forms of local multiplayer, but I'm not getting my hopes up, because my hopes are already pretty low for the console in general.

CLOSING ARGUMENTS

The Nintendo Switch is a bandaid on the past decade of Nintendo's odd console design choices, but in the end we are left with a pretty standard console that you can mostly sorta play outside. Take away the whole disconnecting one good controller into two okay controllers gimmick and the fact that it can be a glitchy handheld with little to no drop protection, and you have a console with a controller that can play games efficiently, but is that really it? Considering the Xbox One runs you through a load of ads and other convoluted garbage before you can even play anything and most PS4 "exclusives" can be played on PC, I guess The Nintendo Switch has come out at a somewhat opportune time.

This just seems unnecessary. What I wish they would have done is hold on to this idea until console generation nine was upon us. That way when we hypothetically got an Xbox 7203490 that streams thirty minutes of ads based on the porn we looked up in its browser and the PS5 that is basically a PS4 Neo with a higher focus on VR, there would be a more fleshed out, tested, and better researched piece of technology coming from Nintendo that would stand out from the crowd, and would be easier to advertise as such (unlike the Wii U). I know that's a long time to sit on a console, but with today's technology, the other consoles are not doing much to separate from PC gaming.

The possibilities that the Nintendo Switch could present based on its few gimmicks are enticing, but not enough is known to justify being this excited for something great. I'm not saying the Switch will be a complete flop and that we will all hate it two years from now like we did the Wii, but this isn't even a new console generation, and for the millionth time, the Switch is technologically on par with the Wii U if you take away it's selling points.

I will tell you all what I told my friend when he asked me about the "NX": They will have to release something groundbreaking. They will have to release a game that is so mind-blowing and catered to my personal taste in games that not buying it would lower my quality of life. It would have to be something absolutely ridiculous and simultaneously well-designed. Considering most modern games look piss-poor to me and I'm wholly content with my small library of PS4 and Wii U games (have gotten plenty of amusement out of Uncharted 4, Digimon Story, Smash, Bayonetta, etc.), I just can't see myself shelling out a butt-ton of money for this thing considering it does things my previously existing consoles can do.

Not even the new Mario cuts it for me and I love 3D Mario games. It looks too much like Super Mario 3D World. That is appealing to some, but terrifying to me. Nintendo and the Mario franchise specifically have hurt me too many times in the past decade to merit buying a Nintendo Switch. I'm at least going to wait until it gets a decent library, but even then, if similar games are coming to Wii U, or nothing is coming to either system that interests me, then I'm not spending the no doubt daunting cost of the Wii U 2... Switch. I meant Switch.


If I missed something, comment at me or message me somewhere or something. This is just an opinion piece on why I don't get the hype and why I personally have no interest in buying a Nintendo Switch. If you are excited about it and you are dead set on buying one, then you have every right to get it and say "the Randomrings Channel guy was soooo wrong, I'm having sooo much fun". I don't want anyone to feel offended or talked down to by this post. Okay thanks for reading.

10/13/2016

After a Month of Having a Blog...

...yeah I'll keep it. For now.

See, doing YouTube shows off my ability to read lines and, I suppose, write scripts. It gives me mixing practice in voice-over and sometimes in music. Lexi Karma speaks for itself; it proves I can do a lot of important things as far as music business is concerned. I'm not gloating, but all of the things I do to prepare for a Lexi Karma album is usually the work of a small team.

The reason I say this is because doing this blog gives me zippo. Zilch. None of this is building towards anything. But I like doing it.

First off I think it will be better for Randomrings Channel. This blog can alleviate the need for videos like "thoughts on this game", "current event rant", or "this is something I've been thinking about recently". I can still create a variety of videos on the channel, but now they can be more developed and focused. I'm thinking about keeping it to Randomrings Reviews, the very occasional RR Nights (though straying from Let's Plays because... yuck), a new series I'm thinking about putting on Vidme next year in conjunction with my reviews, 4 update videos a year, and honestly a mental health video every year.

I have discussed my mental disabilities on Randomrings Channel before, but for those of you who read this and have no idea what I'm talking about, I have depression. Boohoo! But seriously, no, I have clinical, officially diagnosed depression. I started having common and daily suicidal thoughts around the age of 12 years old. More or less, although much better now, I still have to constantly convince myself that I'm worthy to live in the same atmosphere as the rest of you. Sometimes I fail, and go to sleep infuriated with the fact that I am alive. Guess what helps with that? BLOGS!!! YAAAAYAYYYYY!!!

Okay, it's not that simple, but things like journals, diaries, drawing, et cetera, help alleviate certain symptoms. This blog is pretty much a journal that is intimate enough to be therapeutic, but closed off enough to be public. My weekly update of this blog has kind of become my equivalent of going to the bar with your friends after a long stereotype work week. Except I don't give myself many days off and I don't drink, so I don't take weekly trips to bars. It relieves a lot of built up tension.

You're probably thinking "but all you post here is your opinions on the internet and certain media and whatnot. How is that remotely therapeutic?" Because I don't live around a lot of people that are into the things I'm into. Even then, my close friends really don't have as deep of an interest in critical analysis (and sometimes over-analysis) of media as I do. Usually. If I watch a movie or finish a season of a television series and have a lot of thoughts on it that I want to passionately express, too bad! Can you imagine trying to throw my Son of Batman rant into an organic conversation with another human being? So where most would think of a journal or diary as a place to throw in who they have a crush on, or why is my boyfriend being an asshole, and I wonder if my boyfriend will ever find out I'm cheating on him, I throw in "I watched a romantic comedy series, but I'm a straight male, so even if you don't want to admit the juxtaposition, here are my thoughts, suck on it!" I mull on things I find in media to figure out what I do or don't like in media to expand my mind for a wider variety of things I might like. These times I spend mulling are all internal and rarely voiced, just like your feelings for the cute lady in the front of the class who won't notice you, and that's why you tried to cover up that zit with a band-aid. Oh, I know!

I don't know actually.

If I had an actual diary thing that I wrote in weekly or even daily, it would contain:

80% me complaining to myself about how miserable I am and argue that it is or isn't my own fault
5% things I did that day
5% something positive that I was thinking about maybe
5% brief thoughts on something I was watching, reading, playing, or creating
5% bonus whining not covered in the above 80%

So I expand on that 5% of opinions on things to make my personal life a little less stressful, so my mind focuses on 6 things at once instead of 7 or 8 at all times. That is the Randomrings Blog. I posted this entry, because I think I finally just realized that this is what the blog was about from the beginning, and I didn't even notice it until now.

Thanks to whoever is reading this. More to come that are less sentimental and weird. Probably. I could be lying. I really have no idea, which is another great thing about this blog. When I release a big Lexi Karma thing, it was probably something I have been working on for an age. Randomrings Channel is always super pre-planned. Randomrings Blog: spontaneous. Good.

If you like my "Late to the Party" entries, I started watching Farscape recently, and I'm pretty hooked, so I will probably post something about that when I'm done with Season 1. I guess I'm close to the end of SpongeBob Season 1 too, but I haven't really made it a mission to finish that quickly or anything.

If you are a fan of my reviews, my main hangup recently has been scripts. I can't really finish much more of the final review if there is no script. I only have two more I need to write, and they are some of the last few in the season. That hopefully means that episodes 5, 6, 7, and 8 of Season 2 will all come out on time. Episodes 9 and 10 are scaring me a bit, but we will wait and see what happens.

If you are a fan of Lexi Karma, I am revising a lot of mixes, writing the last few bits of lyrics, re-recording vocals I didn't like (most of them), and writing a whole new song as the big finale piece foooooorrrrrr the next album, which will be a digital release via CD Baby some time next year. It will be a bit shorter than Self Titled so I can prepare for more promotion and bigger releases down the road. But it's not a throwaway album either! I've been piecing the story and music together since the mixing phase of Self Titled.

I might have to make a blog on the album cycle next week. Maybe... If I'm feeling that narcissistic and boring.

Come on back next week now, kids!

9/28/2016

Late to the Party: Son of Batman

I watched a movie for a change. Wow.

Monday was pretty broken in terms of productivity anyways due to my sleepless weekend and a lot of stuff that came up out of my control. For the record, I usually don't go out of my way to watch TV shows, movies, or even YouTube videos. I only do this when I'm eating food. So I tacked an extra 50 minutes onto dinner basically to finally watch Son of Batman.

Before you start reading this, know that I'm not a comic book fan. I don't have anything against the medium but I didn't really have access to it as a kid and it was never introduced in a way that was appealing to me so I just never got into comic books. Most of my knowledge is through heresy or story depictions in other forms of media. Batman is one of the few franchises that I'm most familiar with, but still know very little about. Probably not surprising as Batman is one of the most famous superheroes of all time and about 98% of Americans have seen The Dark Knight at least once. I have learned over the years though that someone's opinion of something they know very little about is just as valid as an expert opinion. When I write music, I show it to friends who I know lack the ability I have to write music or mix music, because they will be able to point out things that I didn't notice. The same goes for movies and whatnot. Son of Batman is the first in a series of straight-to-DVD films, so I think it should be expected that the viewer can pick up the pieces and enjoy the movie without knowing everything there is to know about Batman prior to watching. Let's talk Batman.

Movie release: 2014
Interest in movie: Batman is cool. Basically that. These straight-to-DVD movies based on superhero lore always scare me. Even when I was really young, I thought they were cheesy, and I liked the X-Men cartoon at the time so that's saying something. My previous experience with these was some Thor movie that I don't know the name of but I was at a friend's house and could barely contain my overbearing feeling of boredom. A friend of mine who knows a lot about Batman has recently been watching a lot of Batman related things like Under the Red Hood and Gotham, and he said Son of Batman was cool. I always found the concept of multiple Robins throughout time interesting so why not?

Son of Batman is the kind of Batman movie that doesn't actually feature Batman on the screen until 10 minutes of the movie pass by, and that's not a bad thing. The movie is called Son of Batman, so I guess I should have expected that Batman is not the main character. He is definitely an integral protagonist and is featured or at least mentioned in most of the scenes, but the main focus is really on Damian... erm... the son of Batman. Son of Batman is really good at making an enjoyable Batman film that caters to fans but at the same time you don't have to be a Batman professor to know what's happening and who all the characters are... for the most part. It also knows you aren't stupid though. It doesn't have a scene of "OH MY GOD!!! BRUCE WAYNE IS BATMAN????" because that would be stupid and overplayed. This is, again, a straight-to-DVD movie about Batman. So if you have any interest in seeing this movie, you probably already know that Bruce Wayne is Batman, and even if you don't, it tells you, but it's not a big deal, because it shouldn't be, because within context it's common knowledge.

Batman not showing up until after the title card is actually a great idea and they pulled it off really well. Ra's Al Ghul (played by Giancarlo Esposito from Breaking Bad and Community by the way) taught Batman how to fight in pretty much every Batman timeline. He runs a terrorist group called The League of Assassins, because that's creative and inconspicuous. He, at some point, has a daughter named Talia, who I don't know anything about but it's introduced pretty plainly in the beginning of the movie, so I guess that's fine. What's not fine is that the voice actor for Talia sounds like she's about to fall asleep. Especially following behind dialogue from Giancarlo Esposito. Even the childish voice of Damian is convincing and entertaining, in fact Stuart Allen did really good. But anyways, back to my point. I didn't think it did a great job of explaining who Ra's Al Ghul was and why he was significant to Batman, but maybe that doesn't matter either in hindsight. What does matter is that Ra's Al Ghul has been brought to life multiple times in something called a Lazarus Pit, which has some weird green goop in it that brings him back to life. He gets in a fight with Deathstroke and Deathstroke sends in a missile thing that leaves Ra's Al Ghul as a charred shadow of his former badass self. This is also a good time to mention that Son of Batman is also the kind of movie where everyone with a sword can deflect bullets with the sword and flipping around, even though A) no you can't and B) these guys are holding automatic weapons. See in Star Wars you can sell this, because it's lightsabers versus slow-moving droid gun, so your disbelief was already suspended enough by a certain point to where you are okay with this. This movie just throws you in with a guy that can kill a small group of trained assassins with fully-automatic weapons... with a sword... and flippydoos.

Deathstroke almost smashes Ra's Al Ghul's head in but Damian swoops in last second and jabs his eye out with the hilt of a sword. Deathstroke escapes and Ra's is found crawling back to the Lazarus Pit. Everyone comes in to see what the hell just happened, which is fair. Damian tries to convince everyone to help him throw Ra's into the Lazarus Pit again, but Talia says "no, you can't do that, because he's too far gone, and he won't come back to life, he will just be a gross floating corpse in a gross green goop pool." That might not have been the exact quote. I don't like this part, firstly of course because Talia again constantly sounds bored and even her face is the least emotive in the whole movie, and that's not even an exaggeration, the lackeys of Deathstroke shown for 2 seconds in a scene where they die look more alive than Talia. Also it's like when two kids are playing Power Rangers in their backyard and the one kid goes "nu-uh, you can't use the Beast Megazord because I have the ancient medallion that lets you not do that." Only no one in the movie questions it, so you as the viewer have to be the other kid that goes "says who? How is that fair and that doesn't even make any sense!" But the movie can't hear you. And once again, I'm sure in the comics this Lazarus Goop is greatly explained, but I already stated earlier that I don't care. If you're going to make a (at the time) standalone movie about already established superhero lore, then you should do it in a way to where the movie is still entertaining to a mass audience that may not be a collector of Batman comics. Talia then pulls Damian away and says "it's time to meet your father" and then the title pops up on the screen... because he's the Son of Batman!

I took so long to explain the opening sequence because it actually sets up a few things I don't like about this movie, but also a lot of things I really do like about this movie. I know I'm beating a dead horse now but yes, I should be expected to know some basic facts about Batman, but not all the things about every character's backstory in Batman to appreciate the film. The movie makes a point out to show you that Deathstroke is very powerful and determined, which makes him a great villain in the movie, but it lacks one thing that makes a truly memorable villain; motivation. Apparently Deathstroke was Ra's Al Ghul's original choice for apprentice, but then he met Batman and chose him instead. That's why Deathstroke does all this crazy stuff basically. The movie doesn't really explain that ever or if it did, it didn't do it very well (I was paying pretty close attention). This sets up the strength for both Deathstroke and Damian and shows how dangerous Deathstroke is and how reckless Damian can be. This is never questioned later and is also expanded on, which makes the movie feel like it has momentum. That's cool.

Another problem I have with Son of Batman is that in one of the scenes when Bruce Wayne is alone after they take in Damian, he is watching old footage of Ra's Al Ghul being resurrected with the Lazarus Pit on loop. He implies to Alfred that he thinks it is suspicious that a man who has avoided his own death so many times would just die out of nowhere. Interesting. Too bad they never mention it again. Unless they were just trying to imply that Deathstroke is a crazy powerful villain and they shouldn't underestimate him, but I think that was already set in stone from the first scene and the fact that by this point, Batman already knows about Deathstroke's existence. Kind of stupid.

Beyond this, the animation is incredibly fluid without being wonky and the writing is humorous. This is also not a super kid-friendly superhero film, there is a lot of blood. For some reason they aren't allowed to curse but there are some parts that made me cringe from the violence. This is a pretty violent movie. I won't spoil the final fight for you because the movie builds up to it like a great piece of orchestral music, but let's just say there are things that happen to Damian's body that are... messy.

Not that messy, you pervert.

I know this is a convoluted blob of text, so I'll summarize. Son of Batman is a very entertaining movie in both visuals and script, and you will be able to understand the vast majority of what's happening without having an extensive knowledge of the original DC comic universe. There are a few things that take a weird dip in quality that I found distracting, and by some weird coincidence these moments are all Talia related, but if you want an animated action movie with a heart and a little bit of an easy crime mystery thing, Batman delivers, as he usually does. Just probably shouldn't let your young children watch it unless they are cool with violence and blood. ... ... Which most of them are! Ohhh yeah!!!!


Thanks for reading, I've been posting way too many of these recently. I'm going to try to limit myself to one of these a week, but honestly I just really like typing. The subject matter I'm writing about and the way I'm presenting it is weirdly therapeutic so I hope you got something out of this as well. This is a part of a series of blogs I have called "Late to the Party" where I talk about TV shows or movies I have seen recently. If there is anything you would like to recommend, let me know in the comments section or something. If you want to see me talk about video games in a way that is way more in depth and entertaining than this is, looks for Randomrings Channel on YouTube! Thanks again.

9/25/2016

Late to the Party: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend [Season 1]

I'm running on about 4 hours of sleep... if that... so don't expect a masterwork here. Also this is a blog; expecting anything masterful other than a masterful load of shit is like skydiving in handcuffs.

What was I talking about? Oh. I watched Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Season 1. Season 2 doesn't come out for a bit, but it airs in October. So that's cool. Oops, I'm supposed to be building suspense as to whether or not I like the show. Uhh... But is it a GOOD thing that it was renewed? Read on!!!

Series Air: 2015 (USA)
Season Air: 2015
Interest in the Series: I don't remember how I discovered Rachel Bloom, but I found her, and then realized I have seen her work on Robot Chicken a million times as well. If you don't know her, she actually has a YouTube channel where she has a few single-camera stand-up bits and full-fledged music videos that I find hilarious. She is also the voice of Princess Peach in Starbomb's song "Luigi's Ballad". There. Because that music video was viral. Even by today's standards where every Markiplier video gets one million views just for existing. So now you know who she is. I love her. So when she announced online that she had her own show, I was sold.

What was I talking about? Oh the show! Rachel Bloom is a creator, producer, and writer on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and on top of all that pressure she plays the lead role of Rebecca Bunch. At first glance, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend does not seem like a show catered to straight males in their 20's like myself. You wouldn't be wrong in that assumption, because I wouldn't say it is catered to any one demographic (as much as CBS is REALLY trying to push it into tweeny soap opera territory when it obviously is not that if you watch the first 3 minutes of the damn show), but it isn't the girly clouds, rainbows, and shirtless men sleezefest that it may seem. However because of the show's premise, I cannot recommend Crazy Ex-Girlfriend to any of my fellow male friends. I don't really have to explain why, I just have to explain the premise.

Rebecca Bunch is an esteemed lawyer in New York who has high degrees from both Harvard and Yale, but every day is a sluggish grind for her. In the beginning of Episode 1, seeing an advertisement for butter that asks something along the lines of "when was the last time you were happy?" brings Rebecca and the audience to a flashback of a summer camp Rebecca went to when she was 16. Here she is portrayed with a young Josh Chan who she is incredibly infatuated with, but he lets her go because she's weird. It sounds sad, and it is, but this is still one of my favorite scenes in the entire season because it has actual jokes and again, Rachel Bloom is badass.

This is where Crazy Ex-Girlfriend's true strong suit lies. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend has the structure to be a drama show, but the humor feeds on sadness. No matter how hectic the A-story gets, the show will do something within a few short moments to remind you that you are still watching a comedy, whether it's as small as one of the actors making a weird face in reaction to an awkward dialogue blurb, or something as over the top as a full-out musical number. Oh yeah. This is a musical.

Each episode (with the exception of the first episode I think?) lasts a little more than 40 minutes, and each episode has at least two musical numbers, and even then there are homages to past songs sprinkled throughout, and they are always put in the most tasteful places. One of my favorite songs is "Sexy Gettin' Ready Song", a song about Rebecca doing a bunch of unsexy things to look sexy for taking a date to a party. In a later episode, Rebecca throws her own party at her apartment and one of the characters starts singing to themselves "it's the sexy gettin' ready song", which is completely out of context. One of my favorite jokes in the whole series.

Oh right, back to the plot. One day, Rebecca is freaking out about something that I don't want to ruin (it's not really a spoiler but the punch it packs is worth watching it for yourself... I think anyways) and she happens to bump into Josh on the street, several years after their summer fling. Josh says he would love to hang out some time, but he is moving back to his hometown in West Covina, California. Rachel sees the butter ad again and decides to move to West Covina for Josh, but tries to keep it a secret from everyone that she moved just for Josh. But wait, it gets sappier!

She finds out that Josh already has a girlfriend that has been with him since college. Still obsessed with Josh, Rebecca goes to the bar and meets the Jacob of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Greg. Actually I don't know dick about Twilight to be honest, but I think that's how it works. Watch it for yourself and you can correct me. Josh is a bright, charming, and generally chill guy who everyone really likes, but Josh already has a girlfriend and as the series progresses, doesn't really know what he wants or how to control his feelings. Greg is a sarcastic bartender who is jaded to the world and all of it's corny emphasis on love and relationships, but at the same time really seems to care about Rebecca and underneath his hard shell, is actually very charming and kind of sweet sometimes, and also lives with his sick father. I think I just grew a small ovary typing those last few sentences.

The reason that was important was to debunk that this is a show exclusively for girls. See from what I understand of any romantic comedy movie or television show I have ever seen with the exception of like... Friends With Kids? I guess? is that the girl is the main protagonist, but she's just a pretty girl. There is no reason to really empathize with the character, or even if there is, it's really transparent and the only complicated thing she makes the viewer feel is a fast rush of all of the mistakes they have made in their lives up to this point that lead to watching a horrible romcom. Rebecca has a lot of issues that a lot of people go through, but it isn't as vague as "I'm single". We empathize with her goals and horrible things that happen to her, but at the same time some of these ailments are consequences from her pathological lying to cover up her love for Josh. There are connections she has with both men and different things about each that make them compatible in relation to other things we know about Rebecca's past and present events, but you don't learn these things through Rebecca. A lot of side-stories or even main plots of various episodes focus on Greg or Josh when Rebecca is not around, and each have their own disgusting weaknesses and equally admirable strengths. The most potent moments for each character is portrayed in the form of a musical number, which is not only entertaining and keeps the love story fresh, but also really highlights certain emotions that would normally only pass by in a few seconds if it were straight dialogue, but in the form of song, psychological nuances are poked fun at and exploited in the most effective ways.

After all that typing, I am still barely scratching the surface of all the tools that Crazy Ex-Girlfriend shows you and then hits you in the face with. I didn't even mention Paula. Like once! And she's in every episode and she's nuts and it's great! That fact in itself, that I've barely mentioned everything, shows the kind of complication that has been missing from romance-centric comedy. It can be done, it just has to be written in a way where everyone can enjoy it, not just terrifyingly confused pubescent teens. I still wouldn't consider Crazy Ex-Girlfriend my new favorite show or anything.

Heather is annoying. I get what they were trying to do and she's not always terrible and there are a few episodes where she barely does anything, but she's the ditzy college student and stoner character combined into a cringe-monster, and I do not use the term "cringe" unless I cannot find another descriptor, or if I see someone actually cringing. Does anyone actually know what cringing is anymore? There were also a few moments where I would have taken a different direction as sound director, not that I'm qualified. The original score is fantastic and stylized and certain motifs are reused during transition cut-aways and whatnot. Sometimes after a commercial break however there's just a cheesy guitar riff that wouldn't be caught dead on Grey's Anatomy let alone this show. But these are more pet peeves than anything else, I guess. Except Heather. Heather is important to the plot, but could have been so much better.

There aren't any real plot holes either, even if it feels like there is, it probably gets explained a few episodes down the road. Again, a level of complication that the rom com world needed to be remotely relevant. Maybe this show will set an example for future generations to go off of. Women don't need to be taught that they are just a walking sex doll, because it's not true. Women need more shows that portray women in more goofy situations and then five minutes later, something that decimates your feels! It's the show you can watch with your boyfriend and he may actually just enjoy or at the very least tolerate it for something other than "the hot blonde who likes the guy in the shorts with no shirt right now".

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is a magical musical, an alright drama, and a dark, quirky comedy. It has a little something for everyone but just remember going in that this is a comedy based very heavily on romance, each episode leads into the next in linear order, and each episode is about 42 minutes long. So it has something for everyone but also isn't for everyone. I would advise you regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or your past trauma with romcoms to give Crazy Ex-Girlfriend a shot. Try your hardest to keep an open mind and I think you will at least get a lengthy series of chuckles and snorts from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.


So yeah, I said I would talk about that show and I have now. Cool. The only other one I have planned right now is SpongeBob so... stay tuned? I'm going to do more blogs with variey, I swear they won't all be a lunatic acting like he knows anything about television production.

9/22/2016

Late to the Party: Community [Season 6]

I don't consider myself a good TV critic, but I recently realized I have analytical thoughts on television shows as well. So "Late to the Party", because I talk about TV shows that people have already seen.

I think it is more fair to do it by season, while said season is fresh in my mind. I'm going to start in my home turf so I know how to gauge things that are actually new to me. I am doing a blog on Season 6 of Community, admittedly after my 4th viewing of Community Season 6.

Series Air: 2009 (USA)
Season Air: 2015
Interest in the series: Honestly I don't know. 2009 was a weird time in my life, and I thankfully don't remember much of it. I remember liking the more quirky, fictitious moments of Community, but started rapidly losing interest in television in general. I think I stopped watching Community around the time it first got cancelled, so for me that was either near the end of Season 3 or the beginning of Season 4.

Fast-forward from that point of my life to 2015. I was chasing a girl I really liked and things were going well for a few months. For some reason during that time, since I was listening to Childish Gambino more frequently or something, I started thinking back "I wonder if that show was actually better than I thought it was. I should re-watch it." This is because Childish Gambino is also Donald Glover who is the actor that plays Troy Barnes, a main cast member in the majority of Community. I enjoyed Season 1 and just kept going down the rabbit hole. It was around this time that the girl thing went way South, and there was a lot of time invested in this, so I got really depressed and most of my nights and some whole days were spent eating and watching Community. For better or worse, Community had now become my new favorite show, and still is today. After watching Season 5 all the way through, I heard Season 6 would be coming soon and it would be internet-exclusive. What a high point in my life that didn't seem to be getting any better at the time!

Even then I found myself disappointed. This is why I watched it 4 times. The second time through was to see what I missed while I worked on other stuff, and I found myself wanting more again. The 3rd time was after I bought the DVD. The 4th time was earlier this week, because Season 6 still confuses me.

Season 1 is fantastic, but sometimes it gets a bit too high-school drama for my taste (which is strange because it is about a community college, and having attended a sort of community college before, it felt weird having that much drama infused). Season 2 and 3 are magical and they are my favorite episodes of any and all television. Season 4 was really good despite the fact that Dan Harmon (series creator) was fired and only acted as a consultant for the show sometimes. Season 5 brought Harmon back, and Season 5 is also awesome. So what's up with 6?

I think there's a mental precedent set by the rest of the show that leads me to dislike 6. Season 1 is about building up the character relationships between the study group a.k.a. the main cast (Jeff Winger, Annie Edison, Shirley Bennett, Pierce Hawthorne, Troy Barnes, Abed Nadir, and Britta Perry, and yes fellow fans, I did just go around the table clockwise). Season 2 solidified this relationship and what it means in the goofiest and sometimes saddest ways possible, and that's a great thing. Season 3 upped the ridiculousness... and everything else, and also went deeper into why the school itself was important to the group, going beyond the group in a way. Season 4 grounded the show while still having the cartoonish flavor that makes the show stand out; the season is based around Jeff graduating but also has a comic-book-based origin story episode. Season 5 should not have worked, forcing the group to come back to Greendale having already graduated, missing Pierce Hawthorne, losing Troy Barnes in a few episodes, and bringing in new teacher character Buzz Hickey in a way we as the viewer are supposed to be okay with, and we totally are from episode 1. Through all 5 seasons one meme rings throughout as was promoted by fans during the times of which they originally aired: "#6seasonsandamovie".

This gives the 13 episode anomaly of Season 6 a lot of weight to carry, and probably a lot of expectations. And now I realize I've talked way too much about the past and not enough about the season itself.

Season 6 looks cleaner, has crazier set pieces, and does much more ambitious things than previous seasons, but that doesn't necessarily make it more enjoyable. With Shirley only appearing in two episodes and two new characters magically being glued on to the main cast, a lot of the final season seems more like a band-aid than a bridge to a full-length film. The first episode tries really hard to cram the reason for Season 6's existence and why we should care or believe this and including Frankie. A lot of my favorite moments in Season 6 were actually scenes with Frankie, and Paget Brewster is a great actor, but this episode didn't work too well because of it. I feel spoiled, and I think that's the problem.

Season 6 isn't bad, it just doesn't have the same charm as the other five seasons, and I think this is because it tries too hard to be the 6th season in a way that hurts it. Instead of building all of the weight of what has happened in the show to a huge climax and then hitting with a tear-jerking finale, Season 6 puts two filler characters in the main cast and tries to keep you entertained with more ridiculous scenarios that end up not really panning out in a way that is as hilarious as the past or shows significant growth in the group. Dan Harmon made a point out in the other seasons for the characters to each grow as the series goes, which is why a show about a fake lawyer, a perfectionist, a Christian mother, a racist millionaire, a naive football player, a closed off movie geek, and a self-professed political activist still entertaining, because that is barely what the show is about anymore. In Season 6, the old characters are very established and they aren't one-trick cards, but nothing very new or exciting happens to them either. The jokes are good but nothing that knocks me to the floor, and although Elroy and Frankie have their fair share of funny moments, they still feel like placeholders. Let's not forget the other two main cast members either: Dean Craig Pelton and Benjamin Chang.

The Dean actually has a lot of solid moments and I think a lot of times represents the main group's growing adoration with the school and their time spent there as the looming end of it is coming to a close for both the cast and the viewer. He also feels less gimmicky yet still unpredictable and off the wall. If more was done like this for the rest of the characters, the show would have been great. The only character that really gave this vibe off was Britta, as you meet her parents and she kind of sort of reunites with an old love interest from Season 3. Britta starts facing personal demons that make her seem more human and less of a walking mistake, which has been building up since at least Season 4. Jeff comes to terms with being at Greendale and leaving Greendale, Annie is growing up or something, and Abed is learning about society and friendship but these are all things they were already doing and have already been established. Instead of going forward with these ideas, they just flatline, so the jokes within this flatline are understandable and fine, but not profound (again, in comparison to the rest of the series).

Then Chang. Wow. I personally find it obnoxious. Which is sad because Ken Jeong is a great actor and Chang had a great arc from Season 1 to 4. I found the Changnesia thing annoying, and in Season 5 he was a bit unnecessary but in Season 6 they really push him into the main group where he really doesn't belong, and thus bringing no real mainstay villain or anti-hero to the show. You kind of just have to watch it to understand how annoying he actually is. I feel like he was thrown into more serious situations to remind the viewer that this is still a comedy, but there have been plenty of moments in this show that prove that they can do that with one line of dialogue, and it's really funny while still getting a more emotionally provoking message across.

I won't spoil the Season 6 finale, but considering everything I just said, you can already assume that it is disappointing, but considering the circumstances and again, everything I just said, I think it was the best way to go out... oh... until Chang ruins the last scene with a homosexual joke. Yeah. That was really funny following up a really amazing scene between Jeff and Annie. Ugh.

Season 6 is my least favorite season of my favorite show, but I guess in relativity to all television, it could still be worth a watch. If you have watched every episode of Seasons 1 through 5, then I think you should absolutely watch Season 6, just keep your expectations very neutral.

That's why I give Community Season 6 a rating ooofffffffff......

....


Just kidding. Even I'm not that pretentious, and I run a game review channel on the internet.

Season 6 is good but it gets desperate sometimes and with a returning great cast, it really didn't have to be, making it the worst season in one of the most original shows in history.

2 thumbs out of an anthill made of sand and tears of adult man-babies.


I'm going to do more of these soon, but keep in mind I don't watch that much of television series because I'm not a huge fan of the medium in comparison to movies and video games and mostly just video games. Expect a "Late to the Party: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend [Season 1]" some time soon, and possibly one day a "Late to the Party: SpongeBob SquarePants [Season 1]"?

9/08/2016

Top 10 Animated Disney Movies

Well I might as well start with an actual blog post. This is relevant to my YouTube channel only because it is a scrapped idea for a video that I was planning on releasing later this year or early 2017. Of course I haven't even covered one Disney game on the channel and the channel is mostly about video games, so there was absolutely no point to finish this as a video. But now that I have this blog, I can do literally anything... within the confines of text!

All of the movies on this list (with the exception of maybe two of them) I have seen in the past 2 weeks to 2 years, which I think is a close enough time frame to know what I'm talking about. In other words, movies like Toy Story 2, The Little Mermaid, and A Bug's Life are probably great, I just haven't seen them recently enough to have a solid opinion on them.

Then of course there are the ones I have not seen (Ratatouille, Big Hero 6, Toy Story 3), so maybe I haven't seen your favorite Disney movie. Whoops. Then there were three that came close to the list but didn't quite make it (Pinocchio, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Up), so just because it isn't on this list, doesn't mean I despise the movie, it just doesn't quite make it into my top 10 favorites of all time.

Also I'm not going to explain what the movie is because I think that's annoying to the reader. If you want to know the plot, go watch it yourself. The 10 in this list are actually pretty popular so I'm making this assuming you at least know what the movie is and I'm going to try not to use any spoilers.

In any case, these are my top 10 favorite Animated Disney movies (NOT the top 10 best animated Disney movies):

#10: The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
Yes of course; what distraught teenage outcast born in the 90's could be a complete human being without falling into the stereotype of liking the gothic creep-fest that is The Nightmare Before Christmas. Watching it a few times again as an adult and being old enough to understand who Danny Elfman is and what he does really put into perspective the unique charm and allure this movie has. The movie was never really being dark to be dark. It has scary characters that aren't really scary but aren't cute enough to be corny. This is important because even something as simple as character design can talk down to its audience. The Nightmare Before Christmas had a dark atmosphere because of its tasteful color palette and ground-breaking use of stop-motion animation. I'm a sucker for stop-motion when it's done right.

None of the characters needed a brooding backstory about their dead children and wife to have the viewers identify, and none of the characters are even intrinsically human-looking enough to be easily identifiable. The Nightmare Before Christmas beautifully sets up the plot exposition, the main character, the setting, and the unique and otherwise hard to grasp world all within one short and iconic music number. It's gorgeous. Don't get me wrong either, you side with the main cast, because Jack Skellington longs to understand something that he was not raised to understand, which a lot of people can get behind, and Sally doesn't know how to help Jack without seeming like she is trying to interfere with his happiness; showing she cares from a distance in fear of smothering him and losing him.

The score is superb and dynamic, the voice acting is incredible, and the animation not only broke new ground as to what could be done with stop-motion, but still holds up to today's standards as a good movie, which would be saying a lot for a Halloween movie, a Christmas movie, a stop-motion movie, or a musical alone, and The Nightmare Before Christmas astoundingly pulls off all four.

#09: Aladdin (1992)
Aladdin is a movie that, in my personal opinion, is mostly carried by its aesthetics. It looks and sounds gorgeous and that alone is why it's so high on the list. Even then the adaption of the classic story is not necessarily bad, it's just Hollywooded into an over-the-top romcom. Fortunately the characters all have charming voice actors who give amazing performances and the musical numbers are superb and impossible to forget after just one viewing of the film. There are three main reasons that Aladdin is this high on the list (I mean there must be something about it I find enjoyable if I put it above The Nightmare Before Christmas): the score, the Robin Williams, and the animation. The score doesn't just include musical numbers, this also includes interlude sections behind combat and dialogue. It all tells the story right along with the visuals... if that makes any sense to anyone. Good for you if it does. Robin Williams: I don't need to explain. Then the animation. It just never stops. It lulls you back and forth from intense, captivating action in which you notice something different every time you watch it, and then the other extreme of cute dialogue and showing emotions that voice actors can't give off (because they are voices in the end). A lot of modern animation misses out on this opportunity and this movie really shows the difference between digital and hand-drawn.

#08: Toy Story (1995)
The first ever full-length 3D-animated movie, not just from Disney but in history. It shouldn't hold up. It should look like trash in comparison to its successors. It doesn't. It still looks great. Toy Story still has an amazing cast of voice actors, incredible visuals, and a fun story that is portrayed with equal parts stupid-humor and heart-string-tugging. That was a lot of hyphenation. See, "realistic" doesn't have to necessarily mean "good" when it comes to 3D graphics. Name one thing in the game "Journey" that you thought actually looked realistic. That's rhetorical by the way; none. Nothing in that game looks realistic, but it looks amazing. That's how I feel about Toy Story, even if you try to watch it without its history in mind. The lighting effects put some modern animated films to shame and there isn't a scene where it looks lazy or cheap. And this was 1995, when everything in that field of media looked lazy and cheap by default. The story in itself between two protagonists going towards a similar goal but still end up being enemies for the majority of the movie is done incredibly well and oh my Jesus that fight scene underneath the Pizza Planet truck. Oops. I gushed. I showed that I have a heart on the internet. That can't be healthy.

#07: Monsters, Inc. (2001)
Yes I know it is complete blasphemy for anyone to ever consider Monsters, Inc. to be better than Toy Story but screw it, here I go. Monsters, Inc. has more down to Earth humor, and I don't really know how to explain it beyond that. Toy Story's funniest moments are toy puns or something family-friendly to the point of brainless, slapstick, or child-pandering. Monsters, Inc. feels more like an actual comedy than a kid's movie with jokes. Monsters, Inc. is an actual "family-friendly" movie. Corporations use this term a lot so allow me to explain what I mean by this.

A lot of companies can get away with copy and paste animation, boring stories, and just all around lazy decisions altogether because "it's just a kid's movie". This is a garbage excuse for a garbage movie. Those movies are something no one should ever have to watch, but at least on the higher tier of those they are movies that you can tolerate watching with your children. Like... um.... the Digimon Movie or Cars? Sure it isn't really mind-blowing and arguably not even that entertaining but your kid likes watching it and you can't be bothered to give the kid your full attention right now anyways. Then just above those movies is "family-friendly" aka every movie on this list. Monsters, Inc. has adult humor that never goes too far but is still accessible to an adult audience, but the story is written in a way that is easy enough for children to follow as well.

Also let's go back to aesthetics for just a quick moment: Monsters, Inc. is a powerhouse. Maybe by today's standards all of the effects and motion in this movie don't seem that impressive, but emotive faces like that were nearly impossible in 2001. Even beyond emotion; just the realism of moving objects, physics, and other effects took the company days JUST TO RENDER THE VIDEO FILES! This movie... I know I probably haven't really explained as well as I wanted to why I like this more than Toy Story, but I think having read both paragraphs you can make an assessment yourself. I hope.

Basically I feel that Monsters, Inc. brought the new standard of CGI as Toy Story did six years prior, but even if you know nothing about that, Monsters, Inc. is just a well done movie.

#06: The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)
Hunchback is crazy. They dumbed down a story about an evil rich guy who everyone in town is forced to respect and he holds a guy with a horrible disease captive and tells him that he should not go out into the world. When Quasimodo does that anyways he meets a pretty lady friend, then evil rich guy wants to rape that lady friend. *breathes* into a movie targeted at children! Honestly I don't think this works as a kid's movie, but it's an animated masterpiece. It's disturbing Aladdin on crack in this sense. The animation makes you feel for the characters, which is something a lot of the top tier Disney movies do, but Hunchback is different because of the context. See in Aladdin, you feel happy because Aladdin is your main character and he's doing cool stuff. Then you feel sad because he can't get laid. Then happy because he might get laid. Then mad because Jafar. Now happy because no more Jafar. Then happy because Genie and happy because Aladdin is totally getting laid. That's how that movie works right? Maybe I missed a detail or two.

Alladin is very emotive, but on very vague and accessible emotions. Quasimodo gets hit with the highest point of his life and the lowest point of his life at the same time and that whole scene is legitimately disturbing. It didn't have to goth out to make this happen either. If anything, the fact that a lot of the scenery stays intact makes it more heartbreaking to sit through, and since you were rooting for the guy the whole time, only to watch everything in the world go wrong, it feels like you kind of disappointed yourself too... oh wait... yeah just like Quasimodo.

It's genius. Also the lighting effects and everything are gorgeous in this movie. Such an underrated Disney Animated "Classic".

#05: Lilo and Stitch (2002)
A lot of people consider Lilo and Stitch to be the turning point in Disney's animated features. I don't see it as a direct nosedive but a ceremonious outing, albeit unintended. I watched Lilo and Stitch a lot as a kid and really enjoyed it but on the other hand I was also a big fan of the Digimon anime so I didn't really have an early eye for fine art or anything crazy. Because of this, I watched Lilo and Stitch again recently for the first time in a decade with extremely low expectations. Lilo and Stitch blew me away.

The visuals may not be what most would consider the best or the most arthouse and scenic, but the visuals work for the source material and something about the animation and overall imagery pulls me in. The voice cast is incredible and the writing is smart. There was never a moment where I felt lost or on the other hand talked down to. The key to a children's film is to make the movie mostly timeless (aka not full of referential humor) and to have a plot that a kid can grasp on his/her own, so the kid feels like he/she is along for the ride, not being read a storybook.

Even then, Lilo and Stitch is so absurd that it hops around on the fence between what is too suggestive or out there for a children's movie, especially with the science fiction premise. My only complaint is that Jumba and Stitch are two characters that beg for more sci-fi exposition, and it focuses too much on the family mechanic, which in its own right is great in this movie, but I felt that if the movie were only fifteen to thirty minutes longer, there could have been more insight into the weaknesses and strengths of Stitch, or the galactic federation's history with Jumba (doesn't it seem a little bizarre that Stitch is the 626nd experiment and the government of an entire galaxy is just now finding out about this?).

I was pleasantly surprised with Lilo and Stitch though, and actually found myself laughing at a lot of the jokes, even the more infantile antics of Stitch. If Disney really did take a tumble after this movie, it's a very good way to go out.

#04: Tarzan (1999)
I watched Tarzan about the same time I watched Lilo and Stitch, and Tarzan blew me away even more. Tarzan really doesn't seem like a kid's movie. It deals with a lot of violence and themes of acceptance that go that extra step beyond "ohhh I'm young and weird". It touches on the edge of real daddy issues and sexual acceptance. Just touches though. I mean strip away the fact that most of the cast are animals and Tarzan kills the murderer of his parents without even knowing it. Oof.

Tarzan has incredible visuals. There is so much ridiculous stuff flying around the screen and the shading and the colors and ughhhh!!!

Also if you like Phil Collins, I guess there's plenty of that...

I was honestly scared of the whole "most of the soundtrack is done by Phil Collins" thing when I revisited this one, but it actually works. The songs are so good that it doesn't really matter. There was only one scene (the "Son of Man" montage) where I was kind of like "really?" Other than that I really felt this movie to the heart.

And before I move on, I just want to say that Jane is one of my new favorite Disney Princesses... does she count? Do we count Jane? I mean [spoiler alert] at the end, Tarzan is pretty much king of the apes and Jane is the only human girl character so like... maybe? Queen of the apes? Before all that though, they have an actual bonding moment or two when Jane is introduced. Jane has actual humorous lines and isn't just a ditsy, needy bitch. She even shows from the beginning that she tries to hold her own in combat or at the very least doesn't just cower in the corner waiting for her prince to come rescue her. She's actually charming. Why was this not a trend?

#03: Hercules (1997)
Hercules and Tarzan to be honest are pretty much on the same tier for me in terms of overall enjoyment, but I think Hercules in its more goofy and Greek-themed art style make me appreciate it just a little bit more. There are things I like that Tarzan does more than that of Hercules and vice versa, but all in all as an endearing movie, I lean a little bit more towards Hercules. Also the musical format was a really fun way to tell such an old tale. Meg is another great female lead by the way.

Have you noticed that even media directed towards adults have a theme to be learned? I mean, I guess porn doesn't, but prime time shows and rated R movies. Even adults need to be reminded of a life lesson to take away from what they consume. Tarzan is like "you belong" but in the grand scheme of things, adults learn that after they graduate high school one way or another. Hercules still reminds its audience of relationship advice in an ironically more realistic light and even that of certain family values and basic life direction. Wow, Hercules has it all. Which is why Number 2 on this list still doesn't really make sense... even to me.

#02: Mulan (1998)
Yep. I don't really know what it is about Mulan that makes me so attached to it, but I can't shake the feeling. Maybe it's just so unique that I just can't knock it for its faults, or at least its faults in comparisons to other animated films I've seen. I will say the score has a big part to do with it, and when it comes to music, there isn't much objective merit to liking it more or less than other music. I will listen to Mulan's soundtrack while working on other things or shaving my face. Something about it simultaneously relaxes me and excites me. Usually this would be stupid, but take into consideration that most of the movies I'm comparing Mulan to are primarily musicals, so saying that the songs and their organization within the movie makes me like it more than others isn't completely far fetched.

If it came to my favorite ten movies of all time, Mulan wouldn't even come close, but when it comes to Disney movies, Mulan has a special place with me. Not a nostalgic place, because I only saw it once in theaters when I was a kid until watching it again a few months ago and not being able to look away. It doesn't star a girl trying to fit in; it stars a girl disguising herself to be a better person in her father's eyes and in turn finding her own self-worth. Maybe that's why it speaks to me more than the other movies. Maybe in my early adult years I thought I was trying to belong somewhere, or thought I was trying to get the princess to notice me, or... well I guess I wasn't trying to resurrect Christmas in a town absorbed by Halloween so no... I think I was trying to do crazy things to seek approval from my family and peers, only to later find out that I have to kill my own personal Shan Yu for myself, not for anyone else, otherwise it has no meaning and I just end up where I started.

Yuck. Too deep. It's time for you to hate me now. Here is my Number 1.

#01: The Emperor's New Groove (2000)
After that big emotional and conclusive spiel I just gave about why I like Mulan more than Disney titans such as Toy Story and Fantasia, my number one is cheeky The Emperor's New Groove from the end of the 90's Disney era. At least I had good reasoning for Mulan, and although I think I have good reasoning for Emperor's New Groove, I probably don't. Remember that thing I said earlier about family friendly movies? This is that to a tee. I love its Aztec-ish art style. I love its idiotic and snarky humor (if you have watched my channel, this is probably no surprise). I love its music. Don't even get me started on its voice cast!

The Emperor's New Groove still makes me laugh about as hard as I did when I watched it as a kid and I still feel for all of the characters that the movie wants me to feel for, even if it seems like I shouldn't. An asshole trying to grab his bearings after its no longer warranted for him to be an asshole and still has to kind of rehabilitate himself from being an asshole in the process is great. I also notice that Cuzco isn't even really the main character. It's either him and Pacha, or just Pacha. The main conflict revolves around Pacha, because objectively, no matter what happens, Cuzco will be fine. Cuzco's only important conflict in the story is internal, and it wouldn't unfold without Pacha in his life. Am I looking too deep into a Disney movie? Hmmm.

The Emperor's New Groove is just a good comedy, and the script is incredibly witty, which is kind of my thing. So hopefully you can at least see where I'm coming from when I say it's my favorite. I'm not saying it is the absolute most breath-taking thing that Disney has ever produced, but you can't argue that this movie is my favorite Disney movie, so I guess I don't have to fully justify it.



I hope this gave some more personal insight into the game reviewing, music producing phantom that I have advertised myself as thus far on the internet. More blog thingies to come soon. They won't all be lists and scrapped video ideas I swear. This was just something that I was working towards recently before deciding that it wouldn't fit on my channel even if I did make it into a video.

What's your favorite Animated Disney movie? Let me know in the comments. I'm curious to see where other people stand on this.