After a Month of Having a Blog...

...yeah I'll keep it. For now.

See, doing YouTube shows off my ability to read lines and, I suppose, write scripts. It gives me mixing practice in voice-over and sometimes in music. Lexi Karma speaks for itself; it proves I can do a lot of important things as far as music business is concerned. I'm not gloating, but all of the things I do to prepare for a Lexi Karma album is usually the work of a small team.

The reason I say this is because doing this blog gives me zippo. Zilch. None of this is building towards anything. But I like doing it.

First off I think it will be better for Randomrings Channel. This blog can alleviate the need for videos like "thoughts on this game", "current event rant", or "this is something I've been thinking about recently". I can still create a variety of videos on the channel, but now they can be more developed and focused. I'm thinking about keeping it to Randomrings Reviews, the very occasional RR Nights (though straying from Let's Plays because... yuck), a new series I'm thinking about putting on Vidme next year in conjunction with my reviews, 4 update videos a year, and honestly a mental health video every year.

I have discussed my mental disabilities on Randomrings Channel before, but for those of you who read this and have no idea what I'm talking about, I have depression. Boohoo! But seriously, no, I have clinical, officially diagnosed depression. I started having common and daily suicidal thoughts around the age of 12 years old. More or less, although much better now, I still have to constantly convince myself that I'm worthy to live in the same atmosphere as the rest of you. Sometimes I fail, and go to sleep infuriated with the fact that I am alive. Guess what helps with that? BLOGS!!! YAAAAYAYYYYY!!!

Okay, it's not that simple, but things like journals, diaries, drawing, et cetera, help alleviate certain symptoms. This blog is pretty much a journal that is intimate enough to be therapeutic, but closed off enough to be public. My weekly update of this blog has kind of become my equivalent of going to the bar with your friends after a long stereotype work week. Except I don't give myself many days off and I don't drink, so I don't take weekly trips to bars. It relieves a lot of built up tension.

You're probably thinking "but all you post here is your opinions on the internet and certain media and whatnot. How is that remotely therapeutic?" Because I don't live around a lot of people that are into the things I'm into. Even then, my close friends really don't have as deep of an interest in critical analysis (and sometimes over-analysis) of media as I do. Usually. If I watch a movie or finish a season of a television series and have a lot of thoughts on it that I want to passionately express, too bad! Can you imagine trying to throw my Son of Batman rant into an organic conversation with another human being? So where most would think of a journal or diary as a place to throw in who they have a crush on, or why is my boyfriend being an asshole, and I wonder if my boyfriend will ever find out I'm cheating on him, I throw in "I watched a romantic comedy series, but I'm a straight male, so even if you don't want to admit the juxtaposition, here are my thoughts, suck on it!" I mull on things I find in media to figure out what I do or don't like in media to expand my mind for a wider variety of things I might like. These times I spend mulling are all internal and rarely voiced, just like your feelings for the cute lady in the front of the class who won't notice you, and that's why you tried to cover up that zit with a band-aid. Oh, I know!

I don't know actually.

If I had an actual diary thing that I wrote in weekly or even daily, it would contain:

80% me complaining to myself about how miserable I am and argue that it is or isn't my own fault
5% things I did that day
5% something positive that I was thinking about maybe
5% brief thoughts on something I was watching, reading, playing, or creating
5% bonus whining not covered in the above 80%

So I expand on that 5% of opinions on things to make my personal life a little less stressful, so my mind focuses on 6 things at once instead of 7 or 8 at all times. That is the Randomrings Blog. I posted this entry, because I think I finally just realized that this is what the blog was about from the beginning, and I didn't even notice it until now.

Thanks to whoever is reading this. More to come that are less sentimental and weird. Probably. I could be lying. I really have no idea, which is another great thing about this blog. When I release a big Lexi Karma thing, it was probably something I have been working on for an age. Randomrings Channel is always super pre-planned. Randomrings Blog: spontaneous. Good.

If you like my "Late to the Party" entries, I started watching Farscape recently, and I'm pretty hooked, so I will probably post something about that when I'm done with Season 1. I guess I'm close to the end of SpongeBob Season 1 too, but I haven't really made it a mission to finish that quickly or anything.

If you are a fan of my reviews, my main hangup recently has been scripts. I can't really finish much more of the final review if there is no script. I only have two more I need to write, and they are some of the last few in the season. That hopefully means that episodes 5, 6, 7, and 8 of Season 2 will all come out on time. Episodes 9 and 10 are scaring me a bit, but we will wait and see what happens.

If you are a fan of Lexi Karma, I am revising a lot of mixes, writing the last few bits of lyrics, re-recording vocals I didn't like (most of them), and writing a whole new song as the big finale piece foooooorrrrrr the next album, which will be a digital release via CD Baby some time next year. It will be a bit shorter than Self Titled so I can prepare for more promotion and bigger releases down the road. But it's not a throwaway album either! I've been piecing the story and music together since the mixing phase of Self Titled.

I might have to make a blog on the album cycle next week. Maybe... If I'm feeling that narcissistic and boring.

Come on back next week now, kids!

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