Damn, look at all these little ID cards I have in my pocket! This is all typed out so you can't see them. Ha ha ha ha! You fucking wish. But hey, I'm going to talk about this. I've been out of Closetville for a while. I'm just going to put this out somewhere because I feel like it. I talk about being queer on stream sometimes but I rarely go on a whole rant about it.
tl;dr:
My pronouns are they/them and she/her.
My gender is non-binary but I'm okay with feminine labels (i.e. girl, woman, chick, bitch).
My sexual identity is polysexual.
Pronouns
I use they/them and she/her. I must say that "they" has quickly grown on me since I came out as non-binary. A lot of my close friends started referring to me as "they" without me explicitly asking them to. Some friends I still very much like and respect refer to me as "they". I refer to myself with they/them or she/her pronouns. I especially use she/her on odd occasions when I put in more than fifteen minutes into outfits, makeup, and hair. I also do this when I draw my little avatar fucker in more feminine outfits. Like "damn, look at her!" That's pretty much it. Nobody fucking calls me "she" but you can if you want and it isn't fucked up.
Gender
I'm non-binary! Ain't that somethin'? I am transfem, genderqueer, gender non-conforming, all that stuff. So originally I liked the concept of having many elements of masculinity, androgyny, and femininity encompassing my identity. Now that I have been out for a while and most of the people I meet just treat me like a man despite wearing obvious make-up and a decent amount of women's clothing, I'm kind of over it. I don't get offended or upset by feminine labels. I definitely don't get offended by gender-neutral labels. I originally didn't care about masculine labels but now I don't like them. Not only do a lot of people still just treat me like a man, but most of them also treat me like a straight, cis man. When your gender identity is a lot of things and not an exclusion of things, it is kind of hard to say "well, actually I don't like that". The question is always "what do I replace calling you BRO with then?" Why? I don't know or care. That's just the way it goes. So I just have to take it and be miffed a little bit. It's just easier.
So uh, try to refrain from calling me bro, man, dude, or sir. Especially "sir". I don't know what it is about "sir". You're trying to show innate respect or something completely discounting that I barely look like a sir. I just have a big upper lip and a long-ass face. Like. I'm on HRT. I have tits. What do these punks want from me, y'know?
Anyway. Yeah. Enby. Also, calling me an enby is great. It's totally fine. Some people that aren't non-binary think that "enby" is like the n-word of non-binary people or something. Not that extreme but same basic concept. It's not that deep. It's really easy and cool to use.
Sexuality
Polysexual. Not many understand what this is. It took me so many years to find this and what it actually means. So polysexuality is close to pansexuality. So imagine a bunch of solo cups, right? Each one has marker on it that shows what gender the cup is. So like a gay dude might just throw a ping-pong ball into the "men" cup. A pansexual person will say "give me all these fucking ping-pong balls you motherfucker" and throw one into each cup. A polysexual person like myself might throw a ball into each cup and then say "uh... actually hang on". Then I'll take a few out. For me, it's the "men" cup. That one's pretty damn empty. That's basically where I'm at.
I can't see myself fooling around with men. I have tried to imagine it and it just doesn't work. It simply exists as a fantasy. Like Pan's Labyrinth but sexual. When I think about enbies and women in that same vein, it's a much different sensation that I simply don't get with men.
"Um, okay? Thanks???"
So I get three flags. The trans one, the polysexual one, and the non-binary one. Technically, I probably get more than that, like the genderqueer one but those are the three where I'm like "ah, yeah okay, those are the ones that I fit into". That's pretty much it. Just kind of sitting here wanting to type something and this is the something I typed.
What does this mean for you? Don't be discouraged not being able to find what label you can put on yourself right away. Don't be discouraged if the criteria for a label you thought you found ends up changing. I once thought because I can see what people attracted to men see in some men to some extent that I was bisexual because it was one of the only sexual identifiers I was aware of. I never really identified as that though because it didn't really seem all that accurate. I also told a few people "I might as well be a lesbian at a certain point". Gee, I wonder what would have led me to that conclusion. Maybe it was being born in the wrong fucking body and being raised to believe that anyone who wasn't cis or straight was psychologically deranged. Just spitballing. Don't be down on yourself for not having one concrete answer to sexuality or gender. Sometimes yours will change later anyway because people change over time. You were always born as yourself. "You" should just be an umbrella term that works for everyone. It isn't your fault that this term isn't good enough for a lot of salty people. Maybe you already found your identity cards. That's pretty rad too.
I've got a debatable pile of the L, a dash of the G, I guess a dash of the B, at least 156mg daily of the T, and decent fucking loads of the Q and the "+"! Cool. That's the conclusion of my blog post. "Cool."
