I saw this prompt from Out of Context Pokemon on Twitter. It actually might have just been a meme and not a prompt. Either way. They said, "fuck Pokemon battles what are YOUR stats?" So I overthought that.
Ayden
Cartoon Bitch Pokemon
Type: Normal / Poison
Abilities: Punk Rock, Compound Eyes, or Sturdy (hidden ability)
Gender ratio: 50% androgynous / 50% female, unbreedable
Catch rate: 100 (21.7%)
Egg group: Human-like
Hatch Time: 5140 - 5396 steps
Height: Wouldn't you like to know
Weight: 150 lbs / 68.04 kg
Base experience yield: 137
Leveling rate: Fluctuating
EV yield: 1 Speed
Shape: The bipedal one without the tail
Pokedex Color: Gray
Base friendship: 35
Base Stats:
HP: 40
ATK: 40
DEF: 60
SP. ATK: 35
SP. DEF: 45
SPD: 87
BST: 307
Now you can add me to your romhack and laugh at how much I suck at fighting your Pokemon.