I feel like 2017 was mostly shit for video games but the games that did grab me grabbed me hard. So hey, let's not be a negative dickhole and talk about games I actually liked!
Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue (PS4) - beaten
I'm a big Kingdom Hearts nut for some reason. I have already talked about this specific one on this blog before. 2.8 is a compilation of a boring movie, a 2-hour prequel game that might as well be a tech demo for Kingdom Hearts III, and a full HD-remaster of the 3DS installment, Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance. I did not expect myself to play much of DDD again but I did and I regret nothing. There are a few things that I think both versions do fundamentally worse and better than the other but they are both fine games that I enjoy. Fragmentary Passage was particularly impressive and has enough content to justify a $20 purchase, and it comes with a full-fledged whole other game on top of that. I'm not sure why this is one is still PS4 exclusive since DDD was on 3DS originally and there was no problem putting it on PS4, Kingdom Hearts III will be on Xbone, and the movie is a movie, but if you have a PS4 and you really like Kingdom Hearts, I think this one is more than worth your time.
My blog post talking about Kingdom Hearts 2.8 is here (opens in new window)
Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (NS) - don't own
This is basically just saying "I still like Mario Kart 8". I don't own Deluxe but I have played it with friends a few times and still enjoy it. I don't think it is worth me throwing away all of my progress in the original Mario Kart 8 just to get stuff that I can mostly get via DLC but the extra stages are fun and there are many worthy additions. The battle mode alone is an enticing argument towards me upgrading. But also fuck Nintendo for punishing Wii U fans for no reason.
The End is Nigh (PC) - haven't beaten
I still have not made it to the end of this one because I have been pretty damn busy but The End is Nigh was a pleasant surprise. I really like the mix between puzzle and platformer game that most puzzle-platformers ironically miss a mechanical step or two on. The visuals, soundtrack, and physics all blend together for a very unique game in an underwhelming genre. If you like this kind of "impossible game" stuff, The End is Nigh is for you. If you don't like that kind of stuff: I don't either but this one is a lot more about having a lot of extra stuff than having overly hard main stuff. STUFF!!!
Sonic Mania (PC and PS4 versions) - beaten
Sonic Mania is easily one of the most fun platformers of the past 5 years and is one of the best Sonic games ever made. The amount of dedication to high points of the franchise is highlighted constantly throughout the entire game. Even the menus are tasteful callbacks to days gone by. Despite it being nostalgic as fuck, which is something I actually don't value in games at all, it manages to somehow retain an original flare with a lot of new ideas and pretty good difficulty curve for the few people playing the game that did not grow up playing Sonic games. I still recommend this one to people who usually don't like Sonic games because at this point, saying "I don't like many Sonic games" is like saying "I don't like stubbing my toe".
Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2 (NS) - don't own
I am not a big Dragon Ball fan because I didn't really grow up with it and I am usually not that big into the games but Xenoverse 2's multiplayer was pretty fun. I don't know enough about the game to call it good or bad but I had a good time playing it with my friend on his Switch. It feels like Raging Blast but somehow better in ways I don't really know how to explain. It just feels less cheap and perhaps slightly better balanced but I didn't really study it or anything. It was fun.
A Hat in Time (PC) - beaten
A Hat in Time is one of my new favorite games. I love it. There are so many fun and beautifully stylized things to play around with in this game. I already did a video on this one as well. Just suffice it to say that this one is NOT good because it is heavily inspired by 3D platformers from the mid-90's to early 2000's. Do not underestimate this because it is an indie game. A Hat in Time controls more smoothly, looks more consistently pretty, and has a better sense of humor than at least 95% of the games I have played in the last decade. Now is a great time to get it because it will soon get some ridiculous DLC that includes two new chapters, local co-op, and some other nutso shit.
Right here is my video talking about why I think A Hat in Time is awesome, why I think Yooka-Laylee is kind of dumb, and why I hate the fact that they are now going to be compared to each other forever (opens in new window).
Super Mario Odyssey (NS) - beaten
Super Mario Odyssey is a game I have been bitching about since the teaser trailer and now that I happen to own it, I really don't hate it. In fact, I was go as far to say that I like it. I think it is flawed and I don't think it matches my appreciation for Galaxy 1 and 2, 64, and 64DS but it has a unique flair that no other 3D Mario has. On that same token, the game is massive and riddled with many challenges that don't offer much that hasn't been offered in similar titles (Galaxy, Galaxy 2, 3D Land, 3D World). Some of this one just feels like going through the motions. On top of this, as I kind of expected, there are some baby things that get in the way of the game reaching full potential, at least in my opinion. A and B do the same thing and X and Y do the same thing, making the dive move way harder to pull off than it was in Super Mario 64. There are many challenges that are made easier with the move but the move itself is unnecessarily difficult to pull off because its input and timing is so close to that of the ground pound. If you own a Switch, I guess I recommend Odyssey but I don't think it is worth $60. Just because it has a lot to do does not mean that it is all fun and games. Shame since it is supposed to be a game.
The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Wii U and Nintendo Switch versions) - don't own
Getting away from Odyssey, Breath of the Wild seems to exceed all of my expectations. Most of my time with it has been watching my friends play it so maybe one day I will give the game the time it deserves for myself.
Shovel Knight: Specter of Torment (Wii U) - beaten
Only one game from 2017 can come close to matching my excitement for A Hat in Time and it is Specter of Torment. And I got it for free because I guess Yacht Club games is just allergic to money. Specter of Torment is one of the closest things I have ever seen to perfect in a video game. Some parts, especially towards the end of the main campaign, I felt were a bit too easy since your character's main attack sort of homes in on enemies. Despite that, all of the replay value of this game really ties a ribbon on an already gripping, exciting, and tastefully challenging experience. I can't recommend Specter of Torment enough. If you don't have Shovel Knight yet, this is the place to start. Good timing too because they are working on a 4th Shovel Knight campaign now.
I'm sure there are games I forgot to mention but I just kind of googled 2017 games and these are the ones that struck me the most.
I have Hollow Knight. I know it exists. Unfortunately, I haven't got around to playing it yet.
Yooka-Laylee isn't on here because I'm done bitching about it. There are parts about it that I like but not enough to stick with these games.
Maybe I'll do another one of these in 2019 for the games in 2018 but probably not because I really don't know why I'm doing this one. I guess I just hate most modern games so I'm giving credit where it is very much due.
Thanks for reading.
Sonic Mania Plus Happened
There are only a few things to talk about with the "Encore Pack" so I am just going to talk about each aspect. I feel that making a whole video about this makes no sense because of how busy I am with other videos I want to make and the fact that there really is not much to talk about. Keep in mind that this is very "first impressions-y" as the DLC just came out this morning and I only played for a couple hours at most (probably not even an hour, I don't know).
Encore Mode
Encore Mode is an interesting idea. You start the game as Sonic and you save Mighty and Ray from a tank thing. You have to choose one or the other, whichever one you don't choose turns out to be that Mirage Saloon guy. Now that you have two characters, you can (sometimes) swap between the two with the Triangle button, or whatever it is on whatever you use. In the first stage, it gives you opportunities to get other characters, or rather, whichever one you did not save, Tails, and Knuckles. You can't swap between them though. You can only play as them if you hit an item box that has a weird swap logo on it or you die as your current character. Each character you have at your disposal is also basically a life. I know that sounds morbid but what I mean is that Encore Mode keeps going until you have lost all of your characters. You can get continues like in Mania Mode (the normal mode) but still, this is basically just a more interesting twist on having 5 lives.
This would make more sense in a game like Sonic Advance 3 where different character combinations actually mattered or the characters played significantly different from each other but in Sonic Mania, they all just have one move separating them, really. I could be wrong but I think Sonic is the only other character that has any additional benefits, those being barrier-specific moves. This idea is neat and I feel like most games, especially platformers, would not bother with DLC any further than bringing back two characters from the proverbial dead and a multiplayer bonus. It's just unfortunate because I think they wanted Encore Mode to be one of the main selling points to justify the DLC being $5 (or warranting buying a physical copy of the game) but to me, it feels more like a footnote. I'm not saying it is bad but it feels like more of the same shit as Mania Mode, which I have already played through enough times for Encore Mode to not feel significantly different. I didn't beat it yet so maybe it changes drastically later but I doubt it.
Mighty
Mighty is fucking awesome apparently. His move is really simple but very useful. He just does this quick ground pound kind of thing. This means that at any given moment, you can halt your momentum from midair pretty easily to either save yourself from harm, save yourself from a hazard on the ground, or kill a line of enemies beneath you in one swoop. Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles don't really have a combat-catered move or anything that's useful for taking out a lot of enemies at once, so this makes Mighty feel pretty badass. Is he alone worth $5? No but I would say that most of my justification of the purchase in retrospect was made up by the sheer fun of playing around with a new character. I'm kind of in the boat with the rest of the fanbase that want more characters, no matter how much they really don't belong. If they can find a balanced way to add in characters like Blaze and Shadow or even more off-the-wall ones like Fang, I would gladly pay the price of a fast food meal to see that.
Ray
Unless I'm missing something, which is very possible, fuck Ray. I think. Ray's move is the Super Mario World cape glide but I couldn't figure out how it works at first. You don't swoop with up and down, you swoop with left and right, which is really trippy in a game where you spend most of the time holding one direction or another. There also is not much advantage to doing this. The main thing I realized is that the other four characters have moves that are almost always useful. Sonic can always go fast after a set back with the Drop Dash even more than everyone can with the Spin Dash, not to mention again his barrier abilities. Tails can fucking fly. Knuckles can climb out of trickier situations and his glide can be used as an attack. Mighty can blast through a butt load of situations. Ray's ability is only useful in situations where you have already gone on a really high up route and have plenty of space to use Ray's ability. Towards the middle, not even the end, the middle of the game, this is borderline useless. I was already skeptical of them putting Ray back in since before the Sonic Mania Plus promo animations, Ray did not have much ability beyond what Sonic had, but now he has even less ability. If Mighty wasn't so badass, I would feel a bit ripped off. Again, I'm hopeful that they will add more DLC in the form of new stages or vastly different modes and maybe more characters... then I can forget about Ray like most fans secretly do all the fucking time.
The Pinball
Mania mode has a bunch of different bonus stages and that was one of the things I like about Sonic 3 & Knuckles. They expounded on that really hard in Mania and it made me excited to go into checkpoints with enough rings to access bonus areas that did not have to be as fun as they were. In Encore Mode, it always does this pinball thing. It isn't terrible but bare with me here: pinball is already a game. It makes you go through this long-ass pinball mode unless you opt-out by dying but by doing that you miss out on bonuses. That doesn't sound very important but let's go back to the main gimmick behind Encore Mode. In Encore Mode, the only way to survive, other than just being good at the game, is by freeing your friends and trying to keep all five of them on you as much as possible. After Green Hill, I did not see many opportunities other than in this pinball mode to do that. Hell, maybe I just wasn't paying attention and you can only grab them in the pinball mode, making this even worse. You can spend a lot of time in previous bonus stage iterations too but it felt like it was more rewarding if you did so and a real test of your skill. Pinball has a lot more luck to it and aiming the weird claw machine thing can be difficult to get used to.
If the claw machine to save your friends was made easier, this wouldn't really even make this concept work any better because then it would be too easy and getting there would be based on the luck of pinball and your reflexes of hitting a ball. So if making this harder would just make this ridiculous, the way it is now feels a bit monotonous, and making it easier would defeat its purpose, then maybe the pinball mode should have been thrown in the mix and not made to be the only bonus stage in Encore Mode.
Multiplayer
I don't have friends in my house right now so I can't tell you how 4-player multiplayer works but I'm excited to do that one day because I never understood why the Sonic Advance games and Sonic Rivals games were the only installments that let you race against three other people. I can't really see a downside to this for the player. I'm sure in development it is a different story but whatever now it's there and one of the main reasons I wanted the DLC so bad... just in case I have 2 or 3 friends over that just happen to say "let's play Sonic Mania". Yeesh, why did I buy this?
Conclusion
The new mode is a neat addition but I don't feel like it is a selling point so much as just an added bonus. Mighty is actually a lot more fun of an addition than I predicted. Ray was worse than I predicted. The pinball mode is kind of disappointing but I guess as far as Sonic goes, we all know there have been far worse mini-game segments in the series. So overall I think it is worth $5 IF:
A) You really like Sonic Mania. Maybe not speedrun bad but you do enjoy revisiting the game occasionally.
B) You play it with friends every once in a while or plan on it in the near future.
If only one of those things is true, maybe look into it a bit more honestly before you buy but I personally it is worth the $5 anyways, especially in relativity to what DLC has become over the past decade.
If both of those things are true then buy it right goddamn now.
If neither of those are true, honestly, don't bother with it. There isn't going to be enough to change your mind on Sonic Mania unless you desperately want a game where you can race in traditional Sonic gameplay with 4 people at once.
As far as the physical release thing, I wanted a physical copy really fucking bad but not enough to buy the crazy collector's edition. Like that thing is a big commitment, emphasis on big. If you don't already have Sonic Mania and you like having physical copies of games more than download then I say go for it, 100%. It should cost about the same. If you already have the game digitally and you are thinking about getting a physical copy, take it from someone who already had it digitally on Steam and PS4 just so they could play it on day one: ask yourself if that's really worth it. Is it really worth buying any game and buying it again just for something that is available for $5 via DLC? If you can refund it on Steam then maybe but otherwise you might be fucked there. I'm not sure why they did it this way, hence why I think $5 was a bit high but it would seem weird to make it $4 and I feel like $3 would be underselling everything the Encore Pack has.
For the most part, I would say it is worth the purchase, and Sonic Mania Plus as a whole is absolutely worth it if you don't already have a copy of the game. Now I guess I will just wait for the emo "Darkness Pack" where they put in Shadow and somehow a battle royale.
Encore Mode
Encore Mode is an interesting idea. You start the game as Sonic and you save Mighty and Ray from a tank thing. You have to choose one or the other, whichever one you don't choose turns out to be that Mirage Saloon guy. Now that you have two characters, you can (sometimes) swap between the two with the Triangle button, or whatever it is on whatever you use. In the first stage, it gives you opportunities to get other characters, or rather, whichever one you did not save, Tails, and Knuckles. You can't swap between them though. You can only play as them if you hit an item box that has a weird swap logo on it or you die as your current character. Each character you have at your disposal is also basically a life. I know that sounds morbid but what I mean is that Encore Mode keeps going until you have lost all of your characters. You can get continues like in Mania Mode (the normal mode) but still, this is basically just a more interesting twist on having 5 lives.
This would make more sense in a game like Sonic Advance 3 where different character combinations actually mattered or the characters played significantly different from each other but in Sonic Mania, they all just have one move separating them, really. I could be wrong but I think Sonic is the only other character that has any additional benefits, those being barrier-specific moves. This idea is neat and I feel like most games, especially platformers, would not bother with DLC any further than bringing back two characters from the proverbial dead and a multiplayer bonus. It's just unfortunate because I think they wanted Encore Mode to be one of the main selling points to justify the DLC being $5 (or warranting buying a physical copy of the game) but to me, it feels more like a footnote. I'm not saying it is bad but it feels like more of the same shit as Mania Mode, which I have already played through enough times for Encore Mode to not feel significantly different. I didn't beat it yet so maybe it changes drastically later but I doubt it.
Mighty
Mighty is fucking awesome apparently. His move is really simple but very useful. He just does this quick ground pound kind of thing. This means that at any given moment, you can halt your momentum from midair pretty easily to either save yourself from harm, save yourself from a hazard on the ground, or kill a line of enemies beneath you in one swoop. Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles don't really have a combat-catered move or anything that's useful for taking out a lot of enemies at once, so this makes Mighty feel pretty badass. Is he alone worth $5? No but I would say that most of my justification of the purchase in retrospect was made up by the sheer fun of playing around with a new character. I'm kind of in the boat with the rest of the fanbase that want more characters, no matter how much they really don't belong. If they can find a balanced way to add in characters like Blaze and Shadow or even more off-the-wall ones like Fang, I would gladly pay the price of a fast food meal to see that.
Ray
Unless I'm missing something, which is very possible, fuck Ray. I think. Ray's move is the Super Mario World cape glide but I couldn't figure out how it works at first. You don't swoop with up and down, you swoop with left and right, which is really trippy in a game where you spend most of the time holding one direction or another. There also is not much advantage to doing this. The main thing I realized is that the other four characters have moves that are almost always useful. Sonic can always go fast after a set back with the Drop Dash even more than everyone can with the Spin Dash, not to mention again his barrier abilities. Tails can fucking fly. Knuckles can climb out of trickier situations and his glide can be used as an attack. Mighty can blast through a butt load of situations. Ray's ability is only useful in situations where you have already gone on a really high up route and have plenty of space to use Ray's ability. Towards the middle, not even the end, the middle of the game, this is borderline useless. I was already skeptical of them putting Ray back in since before the Sonic Mania Plus promo animations, Ray did not have much ability beyond what Sonic had, but now he has even less ability. If Mighty wasn't so badass, I would feel a bit ripped off. Again, I'm hopeful that they will add more DLC in the form of new stages or vastly different modes and maybe more characters... then I can forget about Ray like most fans secretly do all the fucking time.
The Pinball
Mania mode has a bunch of different bonus stages and that was one of the things I like about Sonic 3 & Knuckles. They expounded on that really hard in Mania and it made me excited to go into checkpoints with enough rings to access bonus areas that did not have to be as fun as they were. In Encore Mode, it always does this pinball thing. It isn't terrible but bare with me here: pinball is already a game. It makes you go through this long-ass pinball mode unless you opt-out by dying but by doing that you miss out on bonuses. That doesn't sound very important but let's go back to the main gimmick behind Encore Mode. In Encore Mode, the only way to survive, other than just being good at the game, is by freeing your friends and trying to keep all five of them on you as much as possible. After Green Hill, I did not see many opportunities other than in this pinball mode to do that. Hell, maybe I just wasn't paying attention and you can only grab them in the pinball mode, making this even worse. You can spend a lot of time in previous bonus stage iterations too but it felt like it was more rewarding if you did so and a real test of your skill. Pinball has a lot more luck to it and aiming the weird claw machine thing can be difficult to get used to.
If the claw machine to save your friends was made easier, this wouldn't really even make this concept work any better because then it would be too easy and getting there would be based on the luck of pinball and your reflexes of hitting a ball. So if making this harder would just make this ridiculous, the way it is now feels a bit monotonous, and making it easier would defeat its purpose, then maybe the pinball mode should have been thrown in the mix and not made to be the only bonus stage in Encore Mode.
Multiplayer
I don't have friends in my house right now so I can't tell you how 4-player multiplayer works but I'm excited to do that one day because I never understood why the Sonic Advance games and Sonic Rivals games were the only installments that let you race against three other people. I can't really see a downside to this for the player. I'm sure in development it is a different story but whatever now it's there and one of the main reasons I wanted the DLC so bad... just in case I have 2 or 3 friends over that just happen to say "let's play Sonic Mania". Yeesh, why did I buy this?
Conclusion
The new mode is a neat addition but I don't feel like it is a selling point so much as just an added bonus. Mighty is actually a lot more fun of an addition than I predicted. Ray was worse than I predicted. The pinball mode is kind of disappointing but I guess as far as Sonic goes, we all know there have been far worse mini-game segments in the series. So overall I think it is worth $5 IF:
A) You really like Sonic Mania. Maybe not speedrun bad but you do enjoy revisiting the game occasionally.
B) You play it with friends every once in a while or plan on it in the near future.
If only one of those things is true, maybe look into it a bit more honestly before you buy but I personally it is worth the $5 anyways, especially in relativity to what DLC has become over the past decade.
If both of those things are true then buy it right goddamn now.
If neither of those are true, honestly, don't bother with it. There isn't going to be enough to change your mind on Sonic Mania unless you desperately want a game where you can race in traditional Sonic gameplay with 4 people at once.
As far as the physical release thing, I wanted a physical copy really fucking bad but not enough to buy the crazy collector's edition. Like that thing is a big commitment, emphasis on big. If you don't already have Sonic Mania and you like having physical copies of games more than download then I say go for it, 100%. It should cost about the same. If you already have the game digitally and you are thinking about getting a physical copy, take it from someone who already had it digitally on Steam and PS4 just so they could play it on day one: ask yourself if that's really worth it. Is it really worth buying any game and buying it again just for something that is available for $5 via DLC? If you can refund it on Steam then maybe but otherwise you might be fucked there. I'm not sure why they did it this way, hence why I think $5 was a bit high but it would seem weird to make it $4 and I feel like $3 would be underselling everything the Encore Pack has.
For the most part, I would say it is worth the purchase, and Sonic Mania Plus as a whole is absolutely worth it if you don't already have a copy of the game. Now I guess I will just wait for the emo "Darkness Pack" where they put in Shadow and somehow a battle royale.
Late to the Party: Isle of Dogs
I haven't done a "Late to the Party" entry since Star Wars VII in February 2017. I don't even think that was that recent of a movie when I wrote that either.
No spoilers by the way.
Movie release: 2018
Interest in the movie: I like stop-motion and animation in general. I usually don't go out of my way to see new movies in theaters because I usually end up thinking they are stupid but a lot of animators and artists I follow on the internet said that Isle of Dogs was pretty cool. I do too.
Isle of Dogs is the kind of animated movie that I have been hoping to come out for a long time. I knew it was only a matter of time but I certainly did not think it would be this good or in this time period. I certainly didn't expect it to be stop-motion. Animated movies were pioneered as family friendly and inevitably turned into mindless schlock for kids as well. There have been some great animated films since Disney essentially invented the full-length animated film but most of the movies in that genre are dumbed down to cater to kids. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying what happens. South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut is a movie that I still think holds up well but I also feel that it kind of ruined the animated film market in this sense (by no fault of its own). Movies had to be family friendly, watered down for the simplest of minds to comprehend, or it had to be vulgar like South Park. Isle of Dogs looks like a family-friendly movie and depending on the family maybe it is, but the animation is a creative and stylistic choice. This is not a kids' movie and that's part of the reason I love it. At the very least, it's refreshing.
Isle of Dogs has some really dark themes and that is not what necessarily makes the movie good. The portrayal, constantly impressive animation in both 3D and 2D, and many unique creative choices lead me to believe that Isle of Dogs will stand as one of the best films of its decade. I know, we have two years left, but if Marvel and DC are still in the running, I think Isle of Dogs can hold its throne there. Isle of Dogs has important politics but is ultimately apolitical. Isle of Dogs has family elements but centers on characters that are not related to each other. Isle of Dogs has violence but it is not primarily an action movie. Most of my movies seem to have a bit of everything in them. I don't need a full variety act but if you add several elements in, it should be to show complexities in your setting and characters. Isle of Dogs does this. The movie doesn't tell the greatest or most captivating story ever told or anything but the writing is catered to an entertaining ride that is consistently carried by the animation and voice acting.
The visuals are getting a lot of praise in this movie, both in my take and in a lot of what I'm seeing on the internet. The visuals are actually underrated. There are a lot of cues in the setup that carry out consistent themes and more impressively show the viewer the journey that they have been on from time to time. there are landmarks, which a lot of movies that aren't even animated don't have, and they are kept in continuity as well. From the introduction, Isle of Dogs shoves its style in your face and never lets go. I mean that in the best way possible.
To stop gushing, I guess I have to be a big meany-pants and talk about things that I thought were slightly flawed.
The most striking thing I remember questioning while I was watching the movie was its use of gender roles, or possibly its lack of use? Most of the girl characters are essentially just toys for the men. There was no real statement made with most of them. Peppermint is used as a plot device at least and I can understand her inclusion. Nutmeg, on the other hand, is shown like she is going to be this consistently important character and just ends up being a trophy for Chief. The only female characters that aren't just girl characters for the sake of having girl characters were probably The Oracle and Tracy. Tracy could have been a boy and very little would have changed. I'm not saying that as a bad thing, it means that she was important. Even then, midway through the movie, something stupid happens out of nowhere. It's kind of funny and cute but still makes the world seem like it revolves around dick. The Oracle is just a goofy character, and again, didn't have to be a boy or a girl, and either or would have made very little difference to the movie. This is not a bad thing. The Oracle has no romantic or sexual inclinations to anyone in the movie so her character didn't rub me the wrong way. Everyone else except Tracy, and even to some extent Tracy, needs dick for some odd reason. There is no purpose for this. There is no point in the movie other than for the male characters to be rewarded with dick. Peppermint serves some kind of purpose to the plot but as her character progresses, she looks like less of a character and more of a cum dumpster. They didn't have to "Mulan" it. Just don't make your characters sex toys. That makes them almost not characters at all.
Also, why were there no fucking subtitles I mean come on?!!?!?
...psych
This is one of the main complaints I hear about the movie and it makes me wonder if I was watching the same fucking movie. I don't have this complaint. Isle of Dogs feeds on the fact that it is refreshing in its genre. Every shitty movie where the dogs strike back against the humans, the humans and dogs usually can't understand each other and the lens is always on the humans looking down on the dogs as creatures that can't comprehend their dialect. Isle of Dogs turns the camera around to show the dogs' point of view on this issue. The fact that this was an English-centric movie with a lot of Japanese dialogue was an interesting choice and a ballsy one that I applaud. Every once in a while they will say something that is not a real Japanese word that is obviously derived from an English word. I feel that showing a bunch of Japanese speech to an American audience in sections where you are supposed to be getting more out of why they are saying what they are saying than what they are saying is a good opening for something like "respecto", obviously not a Japanese word. Absurd moments like this are what makes Isle of Dogs unique in its comedy. I'm not saying that any of this becomes hilarious but it breeds a consistent ruleset to this effect that never breaks or bends throughout the movie. After a while, you do not expect to understand what the Japanese characters are saying unless there is a translator character nearby, which a lot of the time there is. I think that this mechanic makes Atari's character work better and hold more meaning to the dog characters, which are the main characters. I would find it worn out and cheesier if Atari was speaking a language that the main characters can't understand while the dogs' voices are put in a language that an English-speaking audience can understand. The main characters aren't supposed to understand Atari, and vice versa. If we can understand Atari but they can't, we as an audience are no longer with the main characters, we are watching the main characters. No shit, either way we are technically watching the main characters, its a movie, but I find it more endearing and ambitious the way that Wes Anderson went about it. At the beginning of the movie it essentially explains this for a brief moment in a way that is still entertaining to the viewer as it happens so I'm still not entirely sure why this is such a widespread complaint.
In conclusion: Isle of Dogs is a good-ass movie. Watch it. Don't watch it with young children unless you have some really badass young children. If it is still in theaters, watch it soon so you can directly support great animation with an actual fucking plot. I get that these take forever to make but it should still not be that much of a rarity. Basically I'm saying Isle of Dogs is really good and Illumination can suck my dick.
No spoilers by the way.
Movie release: 2018
Interest in the movie: I like stop-motion and animation in general. I usually don't go out of my way to see new movies in theaters because I usually end up thinking they are stupid but a lot of animators and artists I follow on the internet said that Isle of Dogs was pretty cool. I do too.
Isle of Dogs is the kind of animated movie that I have been hoping to come out for a long time. I knew it was only a matter of time but I certainly did not think it would be this good or in this time period. I certainly didn't expect it to be stop-motion. Animated movies were pioneered as family friendly and inevitably turned into mindless schlock for kids as well. There have been some great animated films since Disney essentially invented the full-length animated film but most of the movies in that genre are dumbed down to cater to kids. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying what happens. South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut is a movie that I still think holds up well but I also feel that it kind of ruined the animated film market in this sense (by no fault of its own). Movies had to be family friendly, watered down for the simplest of minds to comprehend, or it had to be vulgar like South Park. Isle of Dogs looks like a family-friendly movie and depending on the family maybe it is, but the animation is a creative and stylistic choice. This is not a kids' movie and that's part of the reason I love it. At the very least, it's refreshing.
Isle of Dogs has some really dark themes and that is not what necessarily makes the movie good. The portrayal, constantly impressive animation in both 3D and 2D, and many unique creative choices lead me to believe that Isle of Dogs will stand as one of the best films of its decade. I know, we have two years left, but if Marvel and DC are still in the running, I think Isle of Dogs can hold its throne there. Isle of Dogs has important politics but is ultimately apolitical. Isle of Dogs has family elements but centers on characters that are not related to each other. Isle of Dogs has violence but it is not primarily an action movie. Most of my movies seem to have a bit of everything in them. I don't need a full variety act but if you add several elements in, it should be to show complexities in your setting and characters. Isle of Dogs does this. The movie doesn't tell the greatest or most captivating story ever told or anything but the writing is catered to an entertaining ride that is consistently carried by the animation and voice acting.
The visuals are getting a lot of praise in this movie, both in my take and in a lot of what I'm seeing on the internet. The visuals are actually underrated. There are a lot of cues in the setup that carry out consistent themes and more impressively show the viewer the journey that they have been on from time to time. there are landmarks, which a lot of movies that aren't even animated don't have, and they are kept in continuity as well. From the introduction, Isle of Dogs shoves its style in your face and never lets go. I mean that in the best way possible.
To stop gushing, I guess I have to be a big meany-pants and talk about things that I thought were slightly flawed.
The most striking thing I remember questioning while I was watching the movie was its use of gender roles, or possibly its lack of use? Most of the girl characters are essentially just toys for the men. There was no real statement made with most of them. Peppermint is used as a plot device at least and I can understand her inclusion. Nutmeg, on the other hand, is shown like she is going to be this consistently important character and just ends up being a trophy for Chief. The only female characters that aren't just girl characters for the sake of having girl characters were probably The Oracle and Tracy. Tracy could have been a boy and very little would have changed. I'm not saying that as a bad thing, it means that she was important. Even then, midway through the movie, something stupid happens out of nowhere. It's kind of funny and cute but still makes the world seem like it revolves around dick. The Oracle is just a goofy character, and again, didn't have to be a boy or a girl, and either or would have made very little difference to the movie. This is not a bad thing. The Oracle has no romantic or sexual inclinations to anyone in the movie so her character didn't rub me the wrong way. Everyone else except Tracy, and even to some extent Tracy, needs dick for some odd reason. There is no purpose for this. There is no point in the movie other than for the male characters to be rewarded with dick. Peppermint serves some kind of purpose to the plot but as her character progresses, she looks like less of a character and more of a cum dumpster. They didn't have to "Mulan" it. Just don't make your characters sex toys. That makes them almost not characters at all.
Also, why were there no fucking subtitles I mean come on?!!?!?
...psych
This is one of the main complaints I hear about the movie and it makes me wonder if I was watching the same fucking movie. I don't have this complaint. Isle of Dogs feeds on the fact that it is refreshing in its genre. Every shitty movie where the dogs strike back against the humans, the humans and dogs usually can't understand each other and the lens is always on the humans looking down on the dogs as creatures that can't comprehend their dialect. Isle of Dogs turns the camera around to show the dogs' point of view on this issue. The fact that this was an English-centric movie with a lot of Japanese dialogue was an interesting choice and a ballsy one that I applaud. Every once in a while they will say something that is not a real Japanese word that is obviously derived from an English word. I feel that showing a bunch of Japanese speech to an American audience in sections where you are supposed to be getting more out of why they are saying what they are saying than what they are saying is a good opening for something like "respecto", obviously not a Japanese word. Absurd moments like this are what makes Isle of Dogs unique in its comedy. I'm not saying that any of this becomes hilarious but it breeds a consistent ruleset to this effect that never breaks or bends throughout the movie. After a while, you do not expect to understand what the Japanese characters are saying unless there is a translator character nearby, which a lot of the time there is. I think that this mechanic makes Atari's character work better and hold more meaning to the dog characters, which are the main characters. I would find it worn out and cheesier if Atari was speaking a language that the main characters can't understand while the dogs' voices are put in a language that an English-speaking audience can understand. The main characters aren't supposed to understand Atari, and vice versa. If we can understand Atari but they can't, we as an audience are no longer with the main characters, we are watching the main characters. No shit, either way we are technically watching the main characters, its a movie, but I find it more endearing and ambitious the way that Wes Anderson went about it. At the beginning of the movie it essentially explains this for a brief moment in a way that is still entertaining to the viewer as it happens so I'm still not entirely sure why this is such a widespread complaint.
In conclusion: Isle of Dogs is a good-ass movie. Watch it. Don't watch it with young children unless you have some really badass young children. If it is still in theaters, watch it soon so you can directly support great animation with an actual fucking plot. I get that these take forever to make but it should still not be that much of a rarity. Basically I'm saying Isle of Dogs is really good and Illumination can suck my dick.
Lexi Karma lyrics: "Self Titled"
12 Mar
A day like today where the suffering's worse than fate
What one does with it is much more potent
Writing off lies knowing no one has spoken
Lose
A life made of action
Choose
A life made of anguish
We all choose
If we all chose to wade through this chemical waste
Would the diagnosis matter in normalcy's haste?
I beg to differ
I beg to no one
I beg with the dividend that I'm left alone
Say what you will say in turn with a severance
Buried in deep with the rubble that came with this
No one can tell what tomorrow will do with this
Angelic choirs still sing of a demon kiss
Self Titled Commentary 12 Mar - YouTube
Crystal
The silence softens me
A word with only thee
Already mortal so a self-inflicted tendency
To make a statement with a microphone and kill it
Until everyone just vomits and God willing
We slip away
Take you down
Until your way
Weighs you down
One hand to play with me
One hand to pull the plug
Another hand that spills the vodka on her favorite rug
A gnashing, sprawling answer to the love that she once had
And maybe in a moment, you may tell yourself she's not so bad
I did a lot of thinking
Despite bottles you can see
My pores are leaking
My adrenaline is reeking
Until death do us a favor
We slip away
Take you down
My favorite girl
Weighs you down
And if no one can see
Why can they not reach you?
Clarity is fuzzy
Depending on the material of the stronghold
Self Titled Commentary Crystal - YouTube
Mendax
When all the lights come into bloom
You strike the chord that's out of tune
Made to sound sweet and fill in time
Yet later doesn't even rhyme
In the mouth is where it sleeps
Is it easier to leave it lie or watch its power seep?
We open doors that close too fast
Like making species with no class
In a catastrophe we build upon ourselves
Relieving and straining each other
Who will you choose as a guide?
Having been there once before I'll tell you
There is nothing left to say
With just over seven billion mortals sharing every breath
Why do we ridicule the gods as they all sentence us to death?
In the event that I can't reach you realize that no one can
Because your coat of heavy armor will expose your second skin
Dare I see with my eyes
And then feel in disguise
Such an innocent crime
Free with no chance of release
Self Titled Commentary Mendax - YouTube
Sselfles
Tou llac uoy yadot spahrep
Lwoh uoy yad eno ebyam
Self Titled Commentary Sselfles - YouTube
Selfless
Has he taken you into account?
It's been a lot of waiting, right?
Can I shoot you more questions?
Will you really start a fight?
They say moving on's the hardest part
But practice makes perfect
We all have the strength to make two strong
Guess he didn't deserve it
The river flows beside the sinuses and into the senses
Reactions are made to become unreactive
Contradictions are made to become your philosophy
Maybe one day you howl
Perhaps today you call out
Say today he remembers
But everyone can remember
Amnesia, destruction
I'm not so deceiving
Selfless and reaching
Self Titled Commentary Selfless - YouTube
Kisses
Colors will lead you nowhere
If the clouds corrode the sky
Can you take it?
Stay in bed and cry
Everybody's wages are the same as long as they're taken slow
If your body meets the earth
Who will be there?
Alone you just die
Don't you know that
Beggars can't be choosers but the giving's in the way of the soul
It just can't be wrong
They're singing the song
Colors will lead you nowhere
When the sun kisses the sky and brings a color flood
Then the sky can take a soul up to the lord above
When the grass begins to wave the flag to many a dove
You still feel the broken love
When the rainbow brings a gift to see and never touch
Do you wonder what it's like to be alone too much?
If the moon is cursed to half a day and then it gets shoved
Do you need to fall in love?
Through the test of time
There is hatred
Menacing depression ridden with guilt
All of these complaints pale in comparison to you holding still
You just have to make it known
But I'll tell you
You have just been lectured by people in the air
They know what they do but it's up to you to take it somewhere
Move to the music
So you never have to move the end
Mating is dating and fun is what you tell all your friends
It just can't be wrong
They're singing the song
I feel it inside so it won't be too long
Colors will lead you nowhere
When the sun kisses the sky and brings a color flood
Then the sky can take a soul up to the lord above
When the grass begins to wave the flag to many a dove
You still feel the broken love
When the sun kisses the sky and brings a color flood
Then the sky can take a soul up to the lord above
When the grass begins to wave the flag to many a dove
You still feel the broken love
When the rainbow brings a gift to see and never touch
Do you wonder what it's like to be alone too much?
If the moon is cursed to half a day and then it gets shoved
Do you need to fall in love?
Self Titled Commentary Kisses - YouTube
Shower
Sound sung stringing song sewn with strain
I can drain the memories but wavelength tends to mess with things
Like the fact that it's just easy to breathe
But I'll tell you one thing
I can't remember one thing for the life of me
What's left to say?
You turn me on
But you escape me
We're locking eyes
You have no clothes
It's so much simpler when you know you're not exposed
It's the notion that you come to find
But only when you're not in full control of your emotion
All or none and you can't decide
At least once a day
Several lives crossed between the lines
On a grid expanding to be disposed
A finger on me
Finger figures of a harbinger
A sensor that's so null
Perceived as a signal
A pointless retrieval
For new disapproval
So spontaneous and undefined
But for all conclusions that dare to defy me
I decide on this light above
And it has to be pure
Naturism both granted and lost
By the touch of hands and the voice of mind
To tell you one thing
It's to yourself
A sensor that's so null
Perceived as a signal
A pointless retrieval
For new disapproval
And if I say I want to keep it
I'll more just try to reach it
In hopes that I can see it
So why try to tell me
I can only do nothing
And dreams are impossible
What I have come to adore is lost
Screaming at the mist so soft
From this day forth I am gone
A sensor that's so null
Perceived as a signal
A pointless retrieval
For new disapproval
And if I say I want to keep it
I'll more just try to reach it
In hopes that I can see it
So why try to tell me
I can only do nothing
And dreams are impossible
Self Titled Commentary Shower - YouTube
Masked Appeal
I am as good as I look on paper
I have your own conflicting soul
You know
They seek sixty cent salvation
One that makes your sad existence whole
And I do what you think again
With a purpose made known again
Maybe you can save yourself whenever you need saving
Bad guys can only be as bad as your mind
I could be as real as you were making me on Sunday
All of your addictions dressed in masks and tights
I can make you disappear
But first go talk to the cashier
I'm saying what you're making is an excuse for your nature
You are just about as worthless as you see the legislature
I do what you think again
Come and see me scripted again
Self Titled Commentary Masked Appeal - YouTube
Six Minutes
A tired knot unsheathed
Propellers propelled by one's greed
A parallel exists
From sharing kills to sharing kiss
While one and one make two
Subtraction's always due
And no one knows better than you
Who will know better?
And with time all things mend
Without I guess they all just end
Respect and chivalry
The same six minutes you gave me
While one and one make two
Subtraction's always due
And no one knows better than you
Can you feel the chilling?
It's absolutely killing one of us
Yeah, maybe down there you'll feel something
Self Titled Commentary Six Minutes - YouTube
Break Contact
War for the neutral party
You can't see
In each other's eyes you'll never reach a treaty
So why not just break contact?
Break contact
Break contact
Break contact
Severance is the only bracer
For a welder now revealed
You defy the gods of your own selfishness
Swimming long enough to kneel
Rest assured you will always falter
Off the master's beaten path
There's no such thing as mutualism
When two creatures are attached
Self Titled Commentary Break Contact - YouTube
Winter and On
In case you missed last season
I'm fine
Previously on what I left
Behind
It's hard to see through the convolution
I made
Can we call backwards evolution
Mistake?
Studies show that we don't know
Failure, achievement; all signs that we are useless
Together we look so pale
Warming up to each other still leaves one side
Looking like the victim
And if you will this
I will come back to you
Only to disappoint
Your assumption of what I've done
And where I will go
And if I have
Worth
Studies show that we don't know
Failure, achievement; all signs that we are useless
Together we look so pale
Warming up to each other still leaves one side
Looking like the victim is just never the worst place
Failure, achievement; all part of the experience
In the Summer you will know
But in this bed I'm
Blind
Self Titled Commentary Winter and On - YouTube
More
I caged you in
You gave me more
Why do they call it top 40 when they only play 10?
Say you can't understand so maybe you should listen
I get the real feels around you
Maybe you can party tonight, maybe you want to
I know you can't hear me so shut my mouth
If you can't stand the heat, then we should get it all out
I get the real feels around you
Maybe you can party tonight, but with the other dude
Say you want to take a stroll with me when the lights are out
Holding out
Scary thing's
I don't even care that much it happened before and
I was cynical then and I'm cynical now
You're all down on the floor while I'm up in the clouds
Am I feeling it out?
I'm already on the next level
Don't give me a look I have several
I've heard of so close yet so far away but this is ridiculous
We ignore the future 'cause it's not today
The next time that you see me
I will struggle for your touch
And we can meet up in each other's dreams
Since reality may cost too much
I caged you in
You gave me more
The next time that you see me
I will struggle for your touch
And we can meet up in each other's dreams
Since reality may cost too much
Why must we suffer battle
Between predator and prey?
If all this really starts to strangle hope
Then something has to change
Stepped outside
Got a cold
Found the sun
But no souls
And I feel
That the world may have imploded
But I feel
So I sit
On my throne
Making noise
All alone
Our capacity for social ties
Only reaches so far
And it seems about time for that rope to rip up into parts
So I can wrap the chains around his neck
Self Titled Commentary More - YouTube
Kentucky Girls
When I said I love you
I did it with words
When I see your face
I give it what it deserves, in the darkness
You are the best thing I've seen
Since I fed off this monkey
Tonight I will call you my one and only
Tomorrow a cab
All I need is a pair of glasses
To kiss one of your chins
Preferably filled with confidence
And a shot or two of regret
If there were something else for us to do tonight
I would still ferment a cherry
Because the only two things to do around here
Are drink and get laid
Did you know your love makes the earth shake
Every time you meet Johnny?
And it doesn't matter who he's with
You're gonna get sprayed
You are the best thing I've seen
Since I fed off this monkey
Tonight I will call you my one and only
Tomorrow a cab
Because
This corner that I have been sent to is making me laugh
I only feel two things; arousal and resentment
I want to tell everyone off and make everyone love me at the same time
You slut, you feel the same way
Your petty cuteness is measured in numbers
And I'd love to find how you mature
In
Nine
Months
Self Titled Commentary Kentucky Girls - YouTube
Heaviest
Why can't said other party of people or an individual person accept me for what I am?
Lower
Low
We will overcompensate for anything
Keep reaching for the stars
Because they're so beyond the public
Everyone knows what they are
This is spontaneity born of repetition
Reeling in the masses
To showcase memories
Following your heart
Until you're pumping blood
If you can understand me
Check, plus plus
We will make every ear start ringing
And stay confident in bars
Because they're so beyond the public
Everyone knows what they are
Self Titled commentary Heaviest - YouTube
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You can buy the album here if you haven't:
Lexi Karma | Self Titled | CD Baby Music Store
Also iTunes (but it's cheaper on CD Baby for some reason on Apple's part):
Self Titled by Lexi Karma on iTunes
A day like today where the suffering's worse than fate
What one does with it is much more potent
Writing off lies knowing no one has spoken
Lose
A life made of action
Choose
A life made of anguish
We all choose
If we all chose to wade through this chemical waste
Would the diagnosis matter in normalcy's haste?
I beg to differ
I beg to no one
I beg with the dividend that I'm left alone
Say what you will say in turn with a severance
Buried in deep with the rubble that came with this
No one can tell what tomorrow will do with this
Angelic choirs still sing of a demon kiss
Self Titled Commentary 12 Mar - YouTube
Crystal
The silence softens me
A word with only thee
Already mortal so a self-inflicted tendency
To make a statement with a microphone and kill it
Until everyone just vomits and God willing
We slip away
Take you down
Until your way
Weighs you down
One hand to play with me
One hand to pull the plug
Another hand that spills the vodka on her favorite rug
A gnashing, sprawling answer to the love that she once had
And maybe in a moment, you may tell yourself she's not so bad
I did a lot of thinking
Despite bottles you can see
My pores are leaking
My adrenaline is reeking
Until death do us a favor
We slip away
Take you down
My favorite girl
Weighs you down
And if no one can see
Why can they not reach you?
Clarity is fuzzy
Depending on the material of the stronghold
Self Titled Commentary Crystal - YouTube
Mendax
When all the lights come into bloom
You strike the chord that's out of tune
Made to sound sweet and fill in time
Yet later doesn't even rhyme
In the mouth is where it sleeps
Is it easier to leave it lie or watch its power seep?
We open doors that close too fast
Like making species with no class
In a catastrophe we build upon ourselves
Relieving and straining each other
Who will you choose as a guide?
Having been there once before I'll tell you
There is nothing left to say
With just over seven billion mortals sharing every breath
Why do we ridicule the gods as they all sentence us to death?
In the event that I can't reach you realize that no one can
Because your coat of heavy armor will expose your second skin
Dare I see with my eyes
And then feel in disguise
Such an innocent crime
Free with no chance of release
Self Titled Commentary Mendax - YouTube
Sselfles
Tou llac uoy yadot spahrep
Lwoh uoy yad eno ebyam
Self Titled Commentary Sselfles - YouTube
Selfless
Has he taken you into account?
It's been a lot of waiting, right?
Can I shoot you more questions?
Will you really start a fight?
They say moving on's the hardest part
But practice makes perfect
We all have the strength to make two strong
Guess he didn't deserve it
The river flows beside the sinuses and into the senses
Reactions are made to become unreactive
Contradictions are made to become your philosophy
Maybe one day you howl
Perhaps today you call out
Say today he remembers
But everyone can remember
Amnesia, destruction
I'm not so deceiving
Selfless and reaching
Self Titled Commentary Selfless - YouTube
Kisses
Colors will lead you nowhere
If the clouds corrode the sky
Can you take it?
Stay in bed and cry
Everybody's wages are the same as long as they're taken slow
If your body meets the earth
Who will be there?
Alone you just die
Don't you know that
Beggars can't be choosers but the giving's in the way of the soul
It just can't be wrong
They're singing the song
Colors will lead you nowhere
When the sun kisses the sky and brings a color flood
Then the sky can take a soul up to the lord above
When the grass begins to wave the flag to many a dove
You still feel the broken love
When the rainbow brings a gift to see and never touch
Do you wonder what it's like to be alone too much?
If the moon is cursed to half a day and then it gets shoved
Do you need to fall in love?
Through the test of time
There is hatred
Menacing depression ridden with guilt
All of these complaints pale in comparison to you holding still
You just have to make it known
But I'll tell you
You have just been lectured by people in the air
They know what they do but it's up to you to take it somewhere
Move to the music
So you never have to move the end
Mating is dating and fun is what you tell all your friends
It just can't be wrong
They're singing the song
I feel it inside so it won't be too long
Colors will lead you nowhere
When the sun kisses the sky and brings a color flood
Then the sky can take a soul up to the lord above
When the grass begins to wave the flag to many a dove
You still feel the broken love
When the sun kisses the sky and brings a color flood
Then the sky can take a soul up to the lord above
When the grass begins to wave the flag to many a dove
You still feel the broken love
When the rainbow brings a gift to see and never touch
Do you wonder what it's like to be alone too much?
If the moon is cursed to half a day and then it gets shoved
Do you need to fall in love?
Self Titled Commentary Kisses - YouTube
Shower
Sound sung stringing song sewn with strain
I can drain the memories but wavelength tends to mess with things
Like the fact that it's just easy to breathe
But I'll tell you one thing
I can't remember one thing for the life of me
What's left to say?
You turn me on
But you escape me
We're locking eyes
You have no clothes
It's so much simpler when you know you're not exposed
It's the notion that you come to find
But only when you're not in full control of your emotion
All or none and you can't decide
At least once a day
Several lives crossed between the lines
On a grid expanding to be disposed
A finger on me
Finger figures of a harbinger
A sensor that's so null
Perceived as a signal
A pointless retrieval
For new disapproval
So spontaneous and undefined
But for all conclusions that dare to defy me
I decide on this light above
And it has to be pure
Naturism both granted and lost
By the touch of hands and the voice of mind
To tell you one thing
It's to yourself
A sensor that's so null
Perceived as a signal
A pointless retrieval
For new disapproval
And if I say I want to keep it
I'll more just try to reach it
In hopes that I can see it
So why try to tell me
I can only do nothing
And dreams are impossible
What I have come to adore is lost
Screaming at the mist so soft
From this day forth I am gone
A sensor that's so null
Perceived as a signal
A pointless retrieval
For new disapproval
And if I say I want to keep it
I'll more just try to reach it
In hopes that I can see it
So why try to tell me
I can only do nothing
And dreams are impossible
Self Titled Commentary Shower - YouTube
Masked Appeal
I am as good as I look on paper
I have your own conflicting soul
You know
They seek sixty cent salvation
One that makes your sad existence whole
And I do what you think again
With a purpose made known again
Maybe you can save yourself whenever you need saving
Bad guys can only be as bad as your mind
I could be as real as you were making me on Sunday
All of your addictions dressed in masks and tights
I can make you disappear
But first go talk to the cashier
I'm saying what you're making is an excuse for your nature
You are just about as worthless as you see the legislature
I do what you think again
Come and see me scripted again
Self Titled Commentary Masked Appeal - YouTube
Six Minutes
A tired knot unsheathed
Propellers propelled by one's greed
A parallel exists
From sharing kills to sharing kiss
While one and one make two
Subtraction's always due
And no one knows better than you
Who will know better?
And with time all things mend
Without I guess they all just end
Respect and chivalry
The same six minutes you gave me
While one and one make two
Subtraction's always due
And no one knows better than you
Can you feel the chilling?
It's absolutely killing one of us
Yeah, maybe down there you'll feel something
Self Titled Commentary Six Minutes - YouTube
Break Contact
War for the neutral party
You can't see
In each other's eyes you'll never reach a treaty
So why not just break contact?
Break contact
Break contact
Break contact
Severance is the only bracer
For a welder now revealed
You defy the gods of your own selfishness
Swimming long enough to kneel
Rest assured you will always falter
Off the master's beaten path
There's no such thing as mutualism
When two creatures are attached
Self Titled Commentary Break Contact - YouTube
Winter and On
In case you missed last season
I'm fine
Previously on what I left
Behind
It's hard to see through the convolution
I made
Can we call backwards evolution
Mistake?
Studies show that we don't know
Failure, achievement; all signs that we are useless
Together we look so pale
Warming up to each other still leaves one side
Looking like the victim
And if you will this
I will come back to you
Only to disappoint
Your assumption of what I've done
And where I will go
And if I have
Worth
Studies show that we don't know
Failure, achievement; all signs that we are useless
Together we look so pale
Warming up to each other still leaves one side
Looking like the victim is just never the worst place
Failure, achievement; all part of the experience
In the Summer you will know
But in this bed I'm
Blind
Self Titled Commentary Winter and On - YouTube
More
I caged you in
You gave me more
Why do they call it top 40 when they only play 10?
Say you can't understand so maybe you should listen
I get the real feels around you
Maybe you can party tonight, maybe you want to
I know you can't hear me so shut my mouth
If you can't stand the heat, then we should get it all out
I get the real feels around you
Maybe you can party tonight, but with the other dude
Say you want to take a stroll with me when the lights are out
Holding out
Scary thing's
I don't even care that much it happened before and
I was cynical then and I'm cynical now
You're all down on the floor while I'm up in the clouds
Am I feeling it out?
I'm already on the next level
Don't give me a look I have several
I've heard of so close yet so far away but this is ridiculous
We ignore the future 'cause it's not today
The next time that you see me
I will struggle for your touch
And we can meet up in each other's dreams
Since reality may cost too much
I caged you in
You gave me more
The next time that you see me
I will struggle for your touch
And we can meet up in each other's dreams
Since reality may cost too much
Why must we suffer battle
Between predator and prey?
If all this really starts to strangle hope
Then something has to change
Stepped outside
Got a cold
Found the sun
But no souls
And I feel
That the world may have imploded
But I feel
So I sit
On my throne
Making noise
All alone
Our capacity for social ties
Only reaches so far
And it seems about time for that rope to rip up into parts
So I can wrap the chains around his neck
Self Titled Commentary More - YouTube
Kentucky Girls
When I said I love you
I did it with words
When I see your face
I give it what it deserves, in the darkness
You are the best thing I've seen
Since I fed off this monkey
Tonight I will call you my one and only
Tomorrow a cab
All I need is a pair of glasses
To kiss one of your chins
Preferably filled with confidence
And a shot or two of regret
If there were something else for us to do tonight
I would still ferment a cherry
Because the only two things to do around here
Are drink and get laid
Did you know your love makes the earth shake
Every time you meet Johnny?
And it doesn't matter who he's with
You're gonna get sprayed
You are the best thing I've seen
Since I fed off this monkey
Tonight I will call you my one and only
Tomorrow a cab
Because
This corner that I have been sent to is making me laugh
I only feel two things; arousal and resentment
I want to tell everyone off and make everyone love me at the same time
You slut, you feel the same way
Your petty cuteness is measured in numbers
And I'd love to find how you mature
In
Nine
Months
Self Titled Commentary Kentucky Girls - YouTube
Heaviest
Why can't said other party of people or an individual person accept me for what I am?
Lower
Low
We will overcompensate for anything
Keep reaching for the stars
Because they're so beyond the public
Everyone knows what they are
This is spontaneity born of repetition
Reeling in the masses
To showcase memories
Following your heart
Until you're pumping blood
If you can understand me
Check, plus plus
We will make every ear start ringing
And stay confident in bars
Because they're so beyond the public
Everyone knows what they are
Self Titled commentary Heaviest - YouTube
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You can buy the album here if you haven't:
Lexi Karma | Self Titled | CD Baby Music Store
Also iTunes (but it's cheaper on CD Baby for some reason on Apple's part):
Self Titled by Lexi Karma on iTunes
Favorite Movie from Each Decade
I thought this would be a cool idea. I'm not super into movies a lot of the time though, or at least not as much as the general populace, so please forgive me for forgetting your favorite movie. Also, that's your favorite movie so maybe just don't be butt-hurt about stupid stuff that doesn't matter. Like my blog. Here we go!
1920's: Metropolis (1927)
I'm not going to pretend like I love movies from the 20's. As interesting as the era is from a film studies standpoint, I don't really study film any more than any average Joe. But something about Metropolis in a high school film class made me watch it again on my own. I enjoyed its general concept at the very least. I lean more towards sci-fi more than most things and for its time it is very well done. Since this was the 20's, there was a very small amount they could do in terms of story-telling and yet they kind of pulled it off. Like Nosferatu from the same decade, something about it is just more ominous than most modern horror. With Nosferatu (yes, that's another 20's movie I have actually seen and one of the only ones I have seen) there is just this horror element that I don't like of "when is this person going to die?" or "is the scary monster going to die?". Metropolis is scary because its concept is timeless. Just like the Matrix did a damn 72 years later, it brings something you have probably thought about before and cast the thought aside and slams it up in your face in ways that make you uncomfortable but also unblinking. Is this movie loads of fun by today's standards? Am I going to recommend you all watch it or you know nothing about culture in general? Hell no. It's dated as fuck. However, in this early of an era of film, I just so happened to notice a few movies on the lists I found online that I had actually seen. If you are really into film or are thinking about working in film one day, I would say Metropolis is interesting and won't feel like a waste of time. Otherwise, skip it. Sad, right? It's my favorite 1920's movie but even I'm like "dude, don't worry about it, Y'all watch some 90's Disney with me".
1930's: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
The 30's didn't have much I cared about or have seen, but I have always had a soft spot for Snow White even when I was a kid. It's animation at the very least still holds up and that in itself is impressive. I always say something along the lines of "if you have to tell yourself that certain things in media are okay because of their time period, then they really aren't that great". Snow White however just looks really nice. Something about it is still pleasing for me to watch, probably more now than when I was a child. Maybe its the sweet ass on Snow White! Eh? Ehhh?
...kidding.
Its settings, all hand-drawn, are thematic and breathing. Everything in the movie feels alive, even if its an inanimate object. The fight scene with the queen in witch form near the end is still daunting because of the way the cliff merges with the water and lightning. Something about it is just visually striking to me and I think the simplistic plot centered around greed and jealousy is just solid enough without being overbearing to make the real focus the visuals. I'm okay with this.
Okay but before I move on, the first big musical number where Snow White is making a wish into the wishing well, Prince Charming interrupts her song and scares the ever-loving shit out of her and it makes me laugh out loud every time. Alright moving on.
1940's: It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
So when you saw 20's and 30's on this list, you probably thought I was a hipster fuck, right? Well eat your own words mister miss mister and just have a damn seat. Let me tell you a thing or two about It's a Wonderful Life. Are you ready? It's a Wonderful Life is not only my favorite movie from the 40's (an era where I think I have only seen 2-4 movies), it is one of my favorite movies of all time. I'm not kidding. This isn't the thing I do where I reveal in a few sentences that I'm joking or actively being facetious. Me saying "I'm not kidding" is not a mislead. Everyone should see this movie, it is quite the bomb, and in my opinion, it might as well be storytelling perfection.
I know it's old as fuck and it's a Christmas movie to boot, which is why most people ignore me when I jizz all over my own face in public about how fucking awesome It's a Wonderful Life is, but just hear me out. The whole first act seems like it is setting up an angel character by showing him his target, George Bailey, who is really the main character, hands down. George Bailey's life isn't necessarily a life that all viewers will relate to: not everyone lives in a small town with a brother who almost died but they saved his life and girls that they grow up with that end up being potential love interests like some kind of pervy dating sim. It doesn't have to be. The point of the first act is that you see the synopsis of a man's entire life unfold. It takes for-fucking-ever, and in a modern movie or hell, even most books, this would be a sluggish chore on a burning, crashing train to sit through. But every little segment that the angels show the audience is fun on its own in its own special way. You feel like you know George Bailey. You don't have to relate to George Bailey and they didn't have to make him a superhero to make him interesting. At the same time, they didn't make him a boring, wash-up comedian to try and make him relatable while boring the audience half to death. George Bailey is a guy you know because you had fun watching a synopsis of his life, so you associate this character with good times and bad times but all the while still entertaining, which thematically sets up the whole fucking movie. And that's just the beauty of act I, and I'm majorly paraphrasing.
Act 2 turns into a dark comedy that makes The Life of Brian look like fucking My Little Pony and then transcends into full madness that makes Alfred Hitchcock fully erect in his grave every time someone buys the movie on DVD. James Stewart does such a fantastic job of transforming the eccentric and jovial nature of George into earnest servitude when necessary, and this just makes his insane moments even more gripping. The writing alone could make a lesser actor in this role pull it off okay, but James Stewart, in assistance by the cinematography, makes you feel uneasy.
"But this is just a Christmas movie, it can't be that scary, or at least not as unnerving as A Christmas Carol!"
We all know Christmas Carol and we all know its scary because ghost people holding a mirror to our face is a terrifying concept in its own right. Showing us our own greed and what it can do to hurt others is something that anyone with a general conscience has probably thought about at least once in their lives. The reason It's a Wonder Life does this so much better is because it actually does the opposite, and it's much more terrifying. It brings your own selfishness of leaving your life or just leaving people behind in general and shoves that in your face. It tells you to buck up because the pain you cause in your current life is nothing compared to what may have happened without you on the planet. This probably hits home for me more than most people because of my own mental health issues, which might just speak to why I think It's a Wonderful Life is such an important movie for people to watch in general. It shows you that you or anyone you know has value. You have known George Bailey for about an hour and a half, and already the thought of him being gone is not great. To further accentuate this is the terror of a world without him; a fantasy element to the movie so based in reality that it hits close to home for anyone, and hits three times as hard for those who actually paid attention in the first act.
Going into any more detail might spoil the movie and/or bore the shit out of you so uh.... Next!
1950's: Alice in Wonderland (1951)
The 50's was a real stretch. I wanted to say Sleeping Beauty but I haven't seen that since I was really little. Equally impressive on a visual scale was Alice in Wonderland. I thought about Vertigo too but I don't think I made it to the end of that one, so again, I defaulted to Alice in Wonderland because I have no idea what happened in the 50's at all. In any case, Alice in Wonderland still earns the slot it has in many people's hearts as a timeless fantasy adventure. It shows why I love animation so much because when it is done right, it is timeless by default. Alice in Wonderland isn't one of my favorite Disney films or even one of my favorite animated films, but again, the 50's eluded me on this one. I'm just a sucker for animation and a well-balanced mix of trippy shit, and I think this iteration of the Alice story fulfills that.
1960's: The Producers (1967)
Mel Brooks is a big name in comedy, with good reason, and while most people almost strictly think of Blazing Saddles and Spaceballs when his name is brought up... well I also think of those two things but I also think of The Producers. Something about The Producers is just thoroughly entertaining to me from beginning to end. It feels varied, which can be hard to pull off in a film while still keeping a concise story that goes from A to B. Each scene in The Producers could be its own sketch. The scenery changes up a lot and the characters met along the way are all silly and memorable in their own ways. The finished musical that the characters make is so bombastic, and since the production is part of the story, you feel like you were in on it the whole time... well kind of. Obviously, that sounds stupid, you know you aren't in the movie. The Producers isn't set up like Blues Clues or something dumb. Gene Wilder is incredibly cartoonish but still believable and attention-demanding with his performance in every scene he's in and Zero Mostel's character has a great dynamic with his. It's been about 5 years since I've seen this all the way through but its a comedy classic for a reason.
I'm not going to say "it's dated but you have to think about for its time" because I don't know jack about the 60's, especially in regards to film and as I stated above that argument is bullshit. What I will say is that it has a kind of older sense of humor and its delivery is affected as such. This is something that I personally find charming and part of what brings it to the top of the 60's for me, but I can see it being a turn off for a lot of modern audiences. Something to think about for anyone who hasn't seen it or might be debating on checking it out.
1970's: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a comedy that I watched way too many times as a young teen. I thought in adulthood it would get old and all the quirkiness that made this movie such a mainstay in my life would lose their luster. I was wrong. There are still multiple scenes in the movie that make me smile uncontrollably and remind me of why I love the movie so much in the first place. It tells a very simple tale but one that splits the knights in the story onto different routes that give way to completely different scenarios in the tale. These bring the protagonists together in the final act of the movie in a way that would be a dramatic odyssey of conquest and valor in a fantasy adventure film, but in Holy Grail, it kind of does that but its ultimately just silly. It does so many goofy things and mixes in cartoon elements where they shouldn't work but they do. Even the fourth-wall breaking humor works here because it completely diffuses situations of tension where you as the viewer are actually curious how the main characters will survive, and then they end up surviving in the stupidest ways possible because the main characters have also proven to be too dim-witted to actually solve most of anything on their own. Beyond that just go watch it, because otherwise, I would be explaining jokes, and that is never funny. I know you think it is. It's not. Don't explain jokes to people from a movie that they haven't seen. Your half-assed, unorganized depiction of one scene in a movie with no build up doesn't even do as much justice as a shitty movie trailer would. That was irrelevant to the movie, I just thought I would get that off my chest. Phew! Onward!
1980's: Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind (1984)
Anyone who has heard of Studio Ghibli knows that even the worst films this studio crafts are masterful. My Neighbor Totoro (one of their most esteemed and arguably most popular movies) knows what you came for and makes the story take a backseat to glorious animation that is entertaining enough on its own. Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind came out before Totoro and I can't believe more anime weabs don't talk about Nausicaa because its the only Ghibli production I've seen so far that has a plot that actually kept me glued, and in my opinion, its character design and backgrounds are some of the best I have seen in any anime production, especially one the length of an average feature film. Actually shit, this one's two hours I think too. But a lot of you nerdos, like myself, think of one movie in particular when you think of one of the best movies ever and one of the best movies from the 80's as a whole.
Get ready to get mad...
Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.
This is probably my favorite Star Wars movie out of the 7, if we are to ignore Rogue One, which in my opinion should be called Chode One because honestly, that would make the movie exponentially more fun for me. So don't get me wrong, I like Empire a lot, but I like Nausicaa more. You already know Ghibli is awesome and you know that Star Wars is one of the most well respected and successful franchises on the planet. So I'm going to try to argue why it isn't blasphemy to rank Nausicaa over what is considered one of the greatest films ever created and one of the greatest films that will ever be created... you know, other than the fact that this whole thing is just a giant opinionated soapbox and nothing I say should sway the way you feel about Star Wars but eh ya know whatever time to piss off some internet kids.
Since I was young, I always loved the Star Wars movies. Looking back on the main seven as an adult now, The Empire Strikes Back, in my opinion, is the one with the best overall production value, best script, best plot depiction, set design, character development, satisfaction from previous titles in the series: Empire just simply has "the works" as they say in "the biz". Calling Empire specifically one of the best movies of the 80's is like saying urinating is one of the best things to do in the bathroom. Even amongst the competition, it is a no-brainer, which is why I'm sure I look like when I say I like Nausicaa more, a complete psycho.
Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind is also sci-fi and has a "good vs. evil" mechanic just as easy to grasp as Empire, but Nausicaa does it on its own. Nausicaa introduces endearing and interesting characters, captivating scenery, believable yet fantastic geography, and delightfully designed creatures all in the beginning without the movie feeling like a total drag. Even its one-on-one talk shots suck you in because you want to know what's going on in this universe after the first scene, and the first scene is just gorgeous and barely relies on dialogue at all. You're already strapped in for the ride and its barely even begun.
Empire, especially if you were dumb enough to start the series from Episode I all the way to V, does have fun characters, but the only ones that are really enigmatic enough to consider interesting would probably be Boba, Luke, and Vader. If you started in the prequel movies, then Vader already loses a lot of the mystique that helps make him such an intimidating villain as well. Luke is the main character and he is getting progressively stronger so you kind of already suspect that he isn't going to die in these movies, or at least not in Empire. We all saw what happened to Boba Fett. Star Wars, and this isn't a pun but get ready, has no sense of space. The screen pans and the main cast is instantly on another planet. Maybe they break away to Luke on Dagobah to give some illusion of time, which is not necessarily a flaw by any means, but when comparing it to Nausicaa it loses something that Nausicaa has and I have to commend. When Nausicaa's lead character, Nausicaa, goes to different locations, there is a sense of urgency and a feeling of losing home in so many ways that this makes you want the main character to succeed, even if you don't fully grasp the politics of the movie as explained in the first act. In A New Hope, Luke begs to get away from home, which is why the audience feels a guilty sense of relief when Luke's aunt and uncle are attacked because it was obviously depicted by the movie that they were tying Luke down from the adventurous life he wanted to lead. In Nausicaa, the audience is propelled to feel appropriate remission of the comfort of The Valley of the Wind of the movie of the overuse of the "of" of the English language. To make further comparisons, the creatures of Empire are memorable and pretty alright but I think Nausicaa's are better for lack of a better term than better. Not only are Nausicaa's fauna and hell, even flora, more unique and identifiable, but they are a central part of the plot and an extension of one of Nausicaa's most recognizable character traits. The Tonton scene in Empire shows that Luke is more kind to all life forms and Han will only do what he sees as necessary for survival by cutting it open. Nausicaa, as a character, has a love for all life that is so beyond any other character in the movie that no matter how terrifying and dangerous the wildlife in this movie gets, the audience still feels something for them. This makes you root for your main character throughout the whole movie because every step and little victory she takes is coming full circle from every single fucking scene she has been in.
Empire has a lot of things that also make Nausicaa a fantastic film as well, but if you aren't convinced of my point yet, I'm going to make one more. No, I swear, only one more point. I promise. Nausicaa is one movie. Empire is an amalgamation of different ideas and themes cast about from other films. You either need to see all of IV, V, and VI or all of I through IV or maybe even all six of the original films to fully appreciate what the film is going for, which is the problem with a space opera as ambitious as Star Wars. Take Kill Bill, for example, Christ, I am referencing a lot of movies just to defend myself for liking some anime bullshit. Vol 1. and Vol 2. of Kill Bill almost feel like different movies despite having direct story connections. You remember what happened in each individual movie with no confusion. Yes, Vol 1. is necessary for Vol 2., but it doesn't feel like an elongation of the same ride. 2 feels like a different ride that cools down from 1 and then amplifies with pure tension to make 2 appropriate for what was intuitively set up in 1. Empire requires so much investment and time from the viewer not because it's a bad movie, but because it's a Star Wars movie, and there's so much to digest that could, in theory, be condensed. My evidence for this theory is Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, which made my jaw drop in more moments within a two-hour time span than the original trilogy of Star Wars ever has even when I was a child and thought that Darth Maul was scary.
You don't have to agree, most won't, and I understand. Star Wars redefined what science-fiction was capable of and made it something that any audience could latch onto and enjoy to some extent, and for that, I will be eternally grateful, especially for Empire. But if you asked me what my favorite movie that came out of the 80's was, to my own surprise upon writing this, I am much more taken aback by the animated masterpiece, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind of the Repetition of the Joke of the Previous Paragraph of the Stupid Blog.
1990's: Reservoir Dogs (1992)
I'm a big sucker for Tarantino's movies, so this wasn't so much a question of "what is my favorite 90's movie" but rather "do you like Pulp Fiction or Reservoir Dogs more?" In the end, I don't have any concrete answers. As much of an overanalyzing goon as I am, I can't tell you why I like one more than the other. Maybe I think the gimp scene in Pulp Fiction is too long or something. Pulp Fiction I think is more fun for a general audience. Of the two I think Pulp Fiction is the most accessible and I can see why most people would say it is the best. Reservoir Dogs actually excites me every time I see it though. It speaks volumes about a movie if it revolves around a mystery that you already know the answers to and the story still floors you. Let's say there was a drama movie with a nearly identical plot to Reservoir Dogs but instead of people dying, people getting tortured, and instead of being in a shady warehouse all of the characters were in a family mansion and they were politely asked to leave because they lost a game. Their tension would have to be shown on each others' faces and would have to have killer acting to make this consistently entertaining for the audience. Going home to their families is not that daunting of a task without a lot of build-up. Tarantino is often criticized for an excessive use of violence in most of his movies and where most people may say its gratuitous bordering on adolescent, I see something else. I see the primitive trigger in the human mind when they see fictional murder, or rather murder that they don't have to feel bad about. It is a release, and it is instantaneous. The reason why this is usually seen as childish in film is that there are a lot of movies where a lot of people just die for no reason, and there's just this hardass character that likes to be overtly violent because the writers thought that would be cool. In Reservoir Dogs, every death is the result of some fault in someone's character and in Reservoir Dogs specifically, it does not take the world's best attention span to think about this while watching the movie. Everything is expertly put in place to set off a mental trigger for character development in characters that don't want the other characters to know about their personal traits. Every conversation metaphorically becomes a bullet that becomes someone's death by the end of the movie and even if it wasn't the outcome you thought would happen or what you wanted to happen, the tension is relieved in the most satisfying way possible. What I find even more impressive because I have seen it tried and failed in other forms of media is that the entire movie effectively takes place in one building, and it's better for it because of what Reservoir Dogs sets out to do with your brain. It still has enough charm and superb acting that it could be background noise or what they call a "popcorn movie" as well... I think that's the term anyways. Reservoir Dogs works best as a mind-rattling thriller though, because it doesn't need constant weapon fire to illicit turmoil to the audience. To explain further would spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen the movie.
2000's: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
Every time I am too sick to move, I actually get a little excited because it gives me a lazy excuse to watch some Lord of the Rings! In my opinion, the Lord of the Rings trilogy is three of the best movies ever made. The adventure looks just as exciting for the cast and crew as it is for the viewers. I will admit that you have to keep your eyes and ears glued to what's happening in nearly every scene to fully understand what's happening but most of the time that is not super difficult. The incredible cast, impressive CG, and tasteful use of breaks and timing make every scene near perfection. Even if you don't pick up every single detail in a dialogue-heavy scene, the body language of the invested cast gives your brain enough context to be able to decipher enough to enjoy the films to their end. The most entertaining of the three for my brain is the third; the grand finale: The Return of the King. Now it's time to piss some more people off though, okay here we go:
Remember early when I was saying that The Empire Strikes Back requires a lot of effort and invested time from the audience because they have to pick up hours of information from other movies to even have a grasp on what's happening in this movie? So by this logic, I should hate The Lord of the Rings movies and especially despise The Return of the King right? Well, obviously I don't so I'm not sure why I wrote that shit in question form. The Fellowship of the Ring already sets up this precedent that there is going to be this long drawn out quest, so much so that a lot the main characters are originally opposed to it even though they were specifically gathered for the quest. It takes a little guy with basically no combat experience to say "yo pussies, let's do this shit! It's only going to take three movies that last like four hours a piece! What are you, babies?!?" Fellowship already sets up the use of magic, politics between whole cities, and not only does it set up this world in a constantly entertaining way but it sets up the characters that go on this journey. The characters by this point are endearing because the script shows that they can make you cry, make you laugh, and make you want them to succeed for whatever goals they are going towards all in one movie, again, something that took Star Wars... six... fucking... movies. Now I'm not saying that Lord of the Rings is better, more practical, and more immediately entertaining than the god that is Star Wars, but what I am saying is... well... upon further reflection that's exactly what I'm saying.
The Two Towers brings these characters along and twists them with the turmoils of their journey. Two Towers had every reason to be the Matrix Reloaded, the Dumb and Dumberer, the shitty Disney sequel cash-in to follow Fellowship, but from the beginning, everyone involved in these movies knew that they wanted a trilogy and they wanted them to blow every other fucking film of the time out of the water. Every impressive thing that Fellowship had in visuals, choreography, and in the script was topped in Two Towers to keep you invested because they knew that this had to serve as the bridge from the humble beginnings to the blood-soaked and exhausted end.
The Return of the King, in every way, is that blood-soaked and exhausted end. Every scene in this movie is so over the top and even one of the earliest scenes in this movie smashes your expectations of what this installment is going to do by unexpectantly killing off a major character before half an hour has passed. Every scuffle, battle, full-out war, and death thereof has some connection to every character in the main cast that you have grown to love for the ridiculous amount of time you have invested in this series of movies. A lot of people argue that Fellowship and Two Towers are more fun because of this, but without Return of the King, nothing that any of the beloved cast did has barely any meaning at all. Even the main quest of the series takes a backseat to some of the political conflicts that directly affected different individual characters, some already dead, making almost every scene satisfying.
I mean, other than this I'm just a big ol' dweebus and you have every right to think I'm an idiot for liking Return of the King and its dark, bloody, emo bullshit as much as I do.
2010's (so far): Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
This is probably not a surprise, especially considering the movies I have picked up to this point. For me, it was a no-brainer. The 2010's haven't ended yet but already it has been an embarrassing decade for the world of cinema. There are so many shitty reboots and worn-out tropes that even titans like the Marvel universe and Star Wars have fallen victim to this sweep of mediocrity and general lack of imagination. I think Marvel answered this with Guardians of the Galaxy. On purpose? Eh. Who knows? What I do know is that, unlike a lot of the recent superhero movies or just movies in general, there was so much care and emotion put into every crevice of Guardians of the Galaxy as a production, that it is objectively okay at its worst. I hate to say it is the movie that has everything, but it basically does. Its comedy is persistently funny after seeing it however many fucking times I have seen it. Its tear-jerking moments still hit me just as hard. Its visuals are easily some of the best computer-generated 3D visuals in most movies, not only of its decade but ever. Even the motion-capture for a fucking raccoon makes most of these stupid modern shooter video games look laughable in comparison. Its romantic subplot is not just for the main man to get his dick wet but more importantly it focuses on pointing out flaws and insecurities in two very important characters in the story, arguably the two most important characters. Guardians of the Galaxy is a crazy ride because it doesn't follow a simple hero's journey. It abducts a child and raises him in a directionless world, and that lack of direction works in the best way possible. The main cast is constantly being jerked around by the faults in their past and threats of their future. The main cast members join together and become friends in a way that friends do, only on a way bigger scale that involves gunships and all that. Most of these action movies when characters end up becoming friends despite all of their differences usually just hinge on the simplicity of that sentence and force a fictional friendship with no consequence. The friendship of the main cast makes them stronger and admitting it makes them stronger, but their baggage directly affects all of them by almost killing them. If they hadn't teamed up, a lot of the villains would affect only the characters that brought them along, but together they had to combat all of them. Friendship does mean added strength, but if that strength isn't used for anything then it just falls flat. They all have to keep tabs on each others' dangerous personality faults and the demons they carry from their past, in the form of actual villains, some of which just happen to be carrying infinity stones and can blow up entire cities to build up into entire worlds.
The movie does beg for a sequel, but not in the way where it negatively effects the rest of the movie. Vol 2. could have never been made and Guardians of the Galaxy would still be a great movie where further adventures are just an idea that adds to the ending. But of course, with this stupid cinematic universe thing, they are going to have to reuse these characters in other movies where they are completely out of place just for the sake of crossing over for the cha-ching. Oh well.
I made this because I think to study storytelling, you have to go way back. Do you have to go to Egypt and translate ancient tablets? No. You just have to see more examples of the things you like and hate evolving from something else that you also might love and hate. Comparing the old to the new is important because you wouldn't be able to make the new so easily if we all just completely forgot about the old. We would make mistakes that older media would make again. Especially in film, which in comparison to literature, theater, visual art, and music is a pretty new art form. I feel we are still working out a lot of the kinks and a lot of it just comes down to being aware of origins and what's current and why that's important to you as a creative person, or maybe even just as a consumer. Also, I like to spout out my opinions on the internet to try to convince you that I'm smart and know shit about movie production.
1920's: Metropolis (1927)
I'm not going to pretend like I love movies from the 20's. As interesting as the era is from a film studies standpoint, I don't really study film any more than any average Joe. But something about Metropolis in a high school film class made me watch it again on my own. I enjoyed its general concept at the very least. I lean more towards sci-fi more than most things and for its time it is very well done. Since this was the 20's, there was a very small amount they could do in terms of story-telling and yet they kind of pulled it off. Like Nosferatu from the same decade, something about it is just more ominous than most modern horror. With Nosferatu (yes, that's another 20's movie I have actually seen and one of the only ones I have seen) there is just this horror element that I don't like of "when is this person going to die?" or "is the scary monster going to die?". Metropolis is scary because its concept is timeless. Just like the Matrix did a damn 72 years later, it brings something you have probably thought about before and cast the thought aside and slams it up in your face in ways that make you uncomfortable but also unblinking. Is this movie loads of fun by today's standards? Am I going to recommend you all watch it or you know nothing about culture in general? Hell no. It's dated as fuck. However, in this early of an era of film, I just so happened to notice a few movies on the lists I found online that I had actually seen. If you are really into film or are thinking about working in film one day, I would say Metropolis is interesting and won't feel like a waste of time. Otherwise, skip it. Sad, right? It's my favorite 1920's movie but even I'm like "dude, don't worry about it, Y'all watch some 90's Disney with me".
1930's: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
The 30's didn't have much I cared about or have seen, but I have always had a soft spot for Snow White even when I was a kid. It's animation at the very least still holds up and that in itself is impressive. I always say something along the lines of "if you have to tell yourself that certain things in media are okay because of their time period, then they really aren't that great". Snow White however just looks really nice. Something about it is still pleasing for me to watch, probably more now than when I was a child. Maybe its the sweet ass on Snow White! Eh? Ehhh?
...kidding.
Its settings, all hand-drawn, are thematic and breathing. Everything in the movie feels alive, even if its an inanimate object. The fight scene with the queen in witch form near the end is still daunting because of the way the cliff merges with the water and lightning. Something about it is just visually striking to me and I think the simplistic plot centered around greed and jealousy is just solid enough without being overbearing to make the real focus the visuals. I'm okay with this.
Okay but before I move on, the first big musical number where Snow White is making a wish into the wishing well, Prince Charming interrupts her song and scares the ever-loving shit out of her and it makes me laugh out loud every time. Alright moving on.
1940's: It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
So when you saw 20's and 30's on this list, you probably thought I was a hipster fuck, right? Well eat your own words mister miss mister and just have a damn seat. Let me tell you a thing or two about It's a Wonderful Life. Are you ready? It's a Wonderful Life is not only my favorite movie from the 40's (an era where I think I have only seen 2-4 movies), it is one of my favorite movies of all time. I'm not kidding. This isn't the thing I do where I reveal in a few sentences that I'm joking or actively being facetious. Me saying "I'm not kidding" is not a mislead. Everyone should see this movie, it is quite the bomb, and in my opinion, it might as well be storytelling perfection.
I know it's old as fuck and it's a Christmas movie to boot, which is why most people ignore me when I jizz all over my own face in public about how fucking awesome It's a Wonderful Life is, but just hear me out. The whole first act seems like it is setting up an angel character by showing him his target, George Bailey, who is really the main character, hands down. George Bailey's life isn't necessarily a life that all viewers will relate to: not everyone lives in a small town with a brother who almost died but they saved his life and girls that they grow up with that end up being potential love interests like some kind of pervy dating sim. It doesn't have to be. The point of the first act is that you see the synopsis of a man's entire life unfold. It takes for-fucking-ever, and in a modern movie or hell, even most books, this would be a sluggish chore on a burning, crashing train to sit through. But every little segment that the angels show the audience is fun on its own in its own special way. You feel like you know George Bailey. You don't have to relate to George Bailey and they didn't have to make him a superhero to make him interesting. At the same time, they didn't make him a boring, wash-up comedian to try and make him relatable while boring the audience half to death. George Bailey is a guy you know because you had fun watching a synopsis of his life, so you associate this character with good times and bad times but all the while still entertaining, which thematically sets up the whole fucking movie. And that's just the beauty of act I, and I'm majorly paraphrasing.
Act 2 turns into a dark comedy that makes The Life of Brian look like fucking My Little Pony and then transcends into full madness that makes Alfred Hitchcock fully erect in his grave every time someone buys the movie on DVD. James Stewart does such a fantastic job of transforming the eccentric and jovial nature of George into earnest servitude when necessary, and this just makes his insane moments even more gripping. The writing alone could make a lesser actor in this role pull it off okay, but James Stewart, in assistance by the cinematography, makes you feel uneasy.
"But this is just a Christmas movie, it can't be that scary, or at least not as unnerving as A Christmas Carol!"
We all know Christmas Carol and we all know its scary because ghost people holding a mirror to our face is a terrifying concept in its own right. Showing us our own greed and what it can do to hurt others is something that anyone with a general conscience has probably thought about at least once in their lives. The reason It's a Wonder Life does this so much better is because it actually does the opposite, and it's much more terrifying. It brings your own selfishness of leaving your life or just leaving people behind in general and shoves that in your face. It tells you to buck up because the pain you cause in your current life is nothing compared to what may have happened without you on the planet. This probably hits home for me more than most people because of my own mental health issues, which might just speak to why I think It's a Wonderful Life is such an important movie for people to watch in general. It shows you that you or anyone you know has value. You have known George Bailey for about an hour and a half, and already the thought of him being gone is not great. To further accentuate this is the terror of a world without him; a fantasy element to the movie so based in reality that it hits close to home for anyone, and hits three times as hard for those who actually paid attention in the first act.
Going into any more detail might spoil the movie and/or bore the shit out of you so uh.... Next!
1950's: Alice in Wonderland (1951)
The 50's was a real stretch. I wanted to say Sleeping Beauty but I haven't seen that since I was really little. Equally impressive on a visual scale was Alice in Wonderland. I thought about Vertigo too but I don't think I made it to the end of that one, so again, I defaulted to Alice in Wonderland because I have no idea what happened in the 50's at all. In any case, Alice in Wonderland still earns the slot it has in many people's hearts as a timeless fantasy adventure. It shows why I love animation so much because when it is done right, it is timeless by default. Alice in Wonderland isn't one of my favorite Disney films or even one of my favorite animated films, but again, the 50's eluded me on this one. I'm just a sucker for animation and a well-balanced mix of trippy shit, and I think this iteration of the Alice story fulfills that.
1960's: The Producers (1967)
Mel Brooks is a big name in comedy, with good reason, and while most people almost strictly think of Blazing Saddles and Spaceballs when his name is brought up... well I also think of those two things but I also think of The Producers. Something about The Producers is just thoroughly entertaining to me from beginning to end. It feels varied, which can be hard to pull off in a film while still keeping a concise story that goes from A to B. Each scene in The Producers could be its own sketch. The scenery changes up a lot and the characters met along the way are all silly and memorable in their own ways. The finished musical that the characters make is so bombastic, and since the production is part of the story, you feel like you were in on it the whole time... well kind of. Obviously, that sounds stupid, you know you aren't in the movie. The Producers isn't set up like Blues Clues or something dumb. Gene Wilder is incredibly cartoonish but still believable and attention-demanding with his performance in every scene he's in and Zero Mostel's character has a great dynamic with his. It's been about 5 years since I've seen this all the way through but its a comedy classic for a reason.
I'm not going to say "it's dated but you have to think about for its time" because I don't know jack about the 60's, especially in regards to film and as I stated above that argument is bullshit. What I will say is that it has a kind of older sense of humor and its delivery is affected as such. This is something that I personally find charming and part of what brings it to the top of the 60's for me, but I can see it being a turn off for a lot of modern audiences. Something to think about for anyone who hasn't seen it or might be debating on checking it out.
1970's: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a comedy that I watched way too many times as a young teen. I thought in adulthood it would get old and all the quirkiness that made this movie such a mainstay in my life would lose their luster. I was wrong. There are still multiple scenes in the movie that make me smile uncontrollably and remind me of why I love the movie so much in the first place. It tells a very simple tale but one that splits the knights in the story onto different routes that give way to completely different scenarios in the tale. These bring the protagonists together in the final act of the movie in a way that would be a dramatic odyssey of conquest and valor in a fantasy adventure film, but in Holy Grail, it kind of does that but its ultimately just silly. It does so many goofy things and mixes in cartoon elements where they shouldn't work but they do. Even the fourth-wall breaking humor works here because it completely diffuses situations of tension where you as the viewer are actually curious how the main characters will survive, and then they end up surviving in the stupidest ways possible because the main characters have also proven to be too dim-witted to actually solve most of anything on their own. Beyond that just go watch it, because otherwise, I would be explaining jokes, and that is never funny. I know you think it is. It's not. Don't explain jokes to people from a movie that they haven't seen. Your half-assed, unorganized depiction of one scene in a movie with no build up doesn't even do as much justice as a shitty movie trailer would. That was irrelevant to the movie, I just thought I would get that off my chest. Phew! Onward!
1980's: Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind (1984)
Anyone who has heard of Studio Ghibli knows that even the worst films this studio crafts are masterful. My Neighbor Totoro (one of their most esteemed and arguably most popular movies) knows what you came for and makes the story take a backseat to glorious animation that is entertaining enough on its own. Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind came out before Totoro and I can't believe more anime weabs don't talk about Nausicaa because its the only Ghibli production I've seen so far that has a plot that actually kept me glued, and in my opinion, its character design and backgrounds are some of the best I have seen in any anime production, especially one the length of an average feature film. Actually shit, this one's two hours I think too. But a lot of you nerdos, like myself, think of one movie in particular when you think of one of the best movies ever and one of the best movies from the 80's as a whole.
Get ready to get mad...
Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.
This is probably my favorite Star Wars movie out of the 7, if we are to ignore Rogue One, which in my opinion should be called Chode One because honestly, that would make the movie exponentially more fun for me. So don't get me wrong, I like Empire a lot, but I like Nausicaa more. You already know Ghibli is awesome and you know that Star Wars is one of the most well respected and successful franchises on the planet. So I'm going to try to argue why it isn't blasphemy to rank Nausicaa over what is considered one of the greatest films ever created and one of the greatest films that will ever be created... you know, other than the fact that this whole thing is just a giant opinionated soapbox and nothing I say should sway the way you feel about Star Wars but eh ya know whatever time to piss off some internet kids.
Since I was young, I always loved the Star Wars movies. Looking back on the main seven as an adult now, The Empire Strikes Back, in my opinion, is the one with the best overall production value, best script, best plot depiction, set design, character development, satisfaction from previous titles in the series: Empire just simply has "the works" as they say in "the biz". Calling Empire specifically one of the best movies of the 80's is like saying urinating is one of the best things to do in the bathroom. Even amongst the competition, it is a no-brainer, which is why I'm sure I look like when I say I like Nausicaa more, a complete psycho.
Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind is also sci-fi and has a "good vs. evil" mechanic just as easy to grasp as Empire, but Nausicaa does it on its own. Nausicaa introduces endearing and interesting characters, captivating scenery, believable yet fantastic geography, and delightfully designed creatures all in the beginning without the movie feeling like a total drag. Even its one-on-one talk shots suck you in because you want to know what's going on in this universe after the first scene, and the first scene is just gorgeous and barely relies on dialogue at all. You're already strapped in for the ride and its barely even begun.
Empire, especially if you were dumb enough to start the series from Episode I all the way to V, does have fun characters, but the only ones that are really enigmatic enough to consider interesting would probably be Boba, Luke, and Vader. If you started in the prequel movies, then Vader already loses a lot of the mystique that helps make him such an intimidating villain as well. Luke is the main character and he is getting progressively stronger so you kind of already suspect that he isn't going to die in these movies, or at least not in Empire. We all saw what happened to Boba Fett. Star Wars, and this isn't a pun but get ready, has no sense of space. The screen pans and the main cast is instantly on another planet. Maybe they break away to Luke on Dagobah to give some illusion of time, which is not necessarily a flaw by any means, but when comparing it to Nausicaa it loses something that Nausicaa has and I have to commend. When Nausicaa's lead character, Nausicaa, goes to different locations, there is a sense of urgency and a feeling of losing home in so many ways that this makes you want the main character to succeed, even if you don't fully grasp the politics of the movie as explained in the first act. In A New Hope, Luke begs to get away from home, which is why the audience feels a guilty sense of relief when Luke's aunt and uncle are attacked because it was obviously depicted by the movie that they were tying Luke down from the adventurous life he wanted to lead. In Nausicaa, the audience is propelled to feel appropriate remission of the comfort of The Valley of the Wind of the movie of the overuse of the "of" of the English language. To make further comparisons, the creatures of Empire are memorable and pretty alright but I think Nausicaa's are better for lack of a better term than better. Not only are Nausicaa's fauna and hell, even flora, more unique and identifiable, but they are a central part of the plot and an extension of one of Nausicaa's most recognizable character traits. The Tonton scene in Empire shows that Luke is more kind to all life forms and Han will only do what he sees as necessary for survival by cutting it open. Nausicaa, as a character, has a love for all life that is so beyond any other character in the movie that no matter how terrifying and dangerous the wildlife in this movie gets, the audience still feels something for them. This makes you root for your main character throughout the whole movie because every step and little victory she takes is coming full circle from every single fucking scene she has been in.
Empire has a lot of things that also make Nausicaa a fantastic film as well, but if you aren't convinced of my point yet, I'm going to make one more. No, I swear, only one more point. I promise. Nausicaa is one movie. Empire is an amalgamation of different ideas and themes cast about from other films. You either need to see all of IV, V, and VI or all of I through IV or maybe even all six of the original films to fully appreciate what the film is going for, which is the problem with a space opera as ambitious as Star Wars. Take Kill Bill, for example, Christ, I am referencing a lot of movies just to defend myself for liking some anime bullshit. Vol 1. and Vol 2. of Kill Bill almost feel like different movies despite having direct story connections. You remember what happened in each individual movie with no confusion. Yes, Vol 1. is necessary for Vol 2., but it doesn't feel like an elongation of the same ride. 2 feels like a different ride that cools down from 1 and then amplifies with pure tension to make 2 appropriate for what was intuitively set up in 1. Empire requires so much investment and time from the viewer not because it's a bad movie, but because it's a Star Wars movie, and there's so much to digest that could, in theory, be condensed. My evidence for this theory is Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, which made my jaw drop in more moments within a two-hour time span than the original trilogy of Star Wars ever has even when I was a child and thought that Darth Maul was scary.
You don't have to agree, most won't, and I understand. Star Wars redefined what science-fiction was capable of and made it something that any audience could latch onto and enjoy to some extent, and for that, I will be eternally grateful, especially for Empire. But if you asked me what my favorite movie that came out of the 80's was, to my own surprise upon writing this, I am much more taken aback by the animated masterpiece, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind of the Repetition of the Joke of the Previous Paragraph of the Stupid Blog.
1990's: Reservoir Dogs (1992)
I'm a big sucker for Tarantino's movies, so this wasn't so much a question of "what is my favorite 90's movie" but rather "do you like Pulp Fiction or Reservoir Dogs more?" In the end, I don't have any concrete answers. As much of an overanalyzing goon as I am, I can't tell you why I like one more than the other. Maybe I think the gimp scene in Pulp Fiction is too long or something. Pulp Fiction I think is more fun for a general audience. Of the two I think Pulp Fiction is the most accessible and I can see why most people would say it is the best. Reservoir Dogs actually excites me every time I see it though. It speaks volumes about a movie if it revolves around a mystery that you already know the answers to and the story still floors you. Let's say there was a drama movie with a nearly identical plot to Reservoir Dogs but instead of people dying, people getting tortured, and instead of being in a shady warehouse all of the characters were in a family mansion and they were politely asked to leave because they lost a game. Their tension would have to be shown on each others' faces and would have to have killer acting to make this consistently entertaining for the audience. Going home to their families is not that daunting of a task without a lot of build-up. Tarantino is often criticized for an excessive use of violence in most of his movies and where most people may say its gratuitous bordering on adolescent, I see something else. I see the primitive trigger in the human mind when they see fictional murder, or rather murder that they don't have to feel bad about. It is a release, and it is instantaneous. The reason why this is usually seen as childish in film is that there are a lot of movies where a lot of people just die for no reason, and there's just this hardass character that likes to be overtly violent because the writers thought that would be cool. In Reservoir Dogs, every death is the result of some fault in someone's character and in Reservoir Dogs specifically, it does not take the world's best attention span to think about this while watching the movie. Everything is expertly put in place to set off a mental trigger for character development in characters that don't want the other characters to know about their personal traits. Every conversation metaphorically becomes a bullet that becomes someone's death by the end of the movie and even if it wasn't the outcome you thought would happen or what you wanted to happen, the tension is relieved in the most satisfying way possible. What I find even more impressive because I have seen it tried and failed in other forms of media is that the entire movie effectively takes place in one building, and it's better for it because of what Reservoir Dogs sets out to do with your brain. It still has enough charm and superb acting that it could be background noise or what they call a "popcorn movie" as well... I think that's the term anyways. Reservoir Dogs works best as a mind-rattling thriller though, because it doesn't need constant weapon fire to illicit turmoil to the audience. To explain further would spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen the movie.
2000's: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
Every time I am too sick to move, I actually get a little excited because it gives me a lazy excuse to watch some Lord of the Rings! In my opinion, the Lord of the Rings trilogy is three of the best movies ever made. The adventure looks just as exciting for the cast and crew as it is for the viewers. I will admit that you have to keep your eyes and ears glued to what's happening in nearly every scene to fully understand what's happening but most of the time that is not super difficult. The incredible cast, impressive CG, and tasteful use of breaks and timing make every scene near perfection. Even if you don't pick up every single detail in a dialogue-heavy scene, the body language of the invested cast gives your brain enough context to be able to decipher enough to enjoy the films to their end. The most entertaining of the three for my brain is the third; the grand finale: The Return of the King. Now it's time to piss some more people off though, okay here we go:
Remember early when I was saying that The Empire Strikes Back requires a lot of effort and invested time from the audience because they have to pick up hours of information from other movies to even have a grasp on what's happening in this movie? So by this logic, I should hate The Lord of the Rings movies and especially despise The Return of the King right? Well, obviously I don't so I'm not sure why I wrote that shit in question form. The Fellowship of the Ring already sets up this precedent that there is going to be this long drawn out quest, so much so that a lot the main characters are originally opposed to it even though they were specifically gathered for the quest. It takes a little guy with basically no combat experience to say "yo pussies, let's do this shit! It's only going to take three movies that last like four hours a piece! What are you, babies?!?" Fellowship already sets up the use of magic, politics between whole cities, and not only does it set up this world in a constantly entertaining way but it sets up the characters that go on this journey. The characters by this point are endearing because the script shows that they can make you cry, make you laugh, and make you want them to succeed for whatever goals they are going towards all in one movie, again, something that took Star Wars... six... fucking... movies. Now I'm not saying that Lord of the Rings is better, more practical, and more immediately entertaining than the god that is Star Wars, but what I am saying is... well... upon further reflection that's exactly what I'm saying.
The Two Towers brings these characters along and twists them with the turmoils of their journey. Two Towers had every reason to be the Matrix Reloaded, the Dumb and Dumberer, the shitty Disney sequel cash-in to follow Fellowship, but from the beginning, everyone involved in these movies knew that they wanted a trilogy and they wanted them to blow every other fucking film of the time out of the water. Every impressive thing that Fellowship had in visuals, choreography, and in the script was topped in Two Towers to keep you invested because they knew that this had to serve as the bridge from the humble beginnings to the blood-soaked and exhausted end.
The Return of the King, in every way, is that blood-soaked and exhausted end. Every scene in this movie is so over the top and even one of the earliest scenes in this movie smashes your expectations of what this installment is going to do by unexpectantly killing off a major character before half an hour has passed. Every scuffle, battle, full-out war, and death thereof has some connection to every character in the main cast that you have grown to love for the ridiculous amount of time you have invested in this series of movies. A lot of people argue that Fellowship and Two Towers are more fun because of this, but without Return of the King, nothing that any of the beloved cast did has barely any meaning at all. Even the main quest of the series takes a backseat to some of the political conflicts that directly affected different individual characters, some already dead, making almost every scene satisfying.
I mean, other than this I'm just a big ol' dweebus and you have every right to think I'm an idiot for liking Return of the King and its dark, bloody, emo bullshit as much as I do.
2010's (so far): Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
This is probably not a surprise, especially considering the movies I have picked up to this point. For me, it was a no-brainer. The 2010's haven't ended yet but already it has been an embarrassing decade for the world of cinema. There are so many shitty reboots and worn-out tropes that even titans like the Marvel universe and Star Wars have fallen victim to this sweep of mediocrity and general lack of imagination. I think Marvel answered this with Guardians of the Galaxy. On purpose? Eh. Who knows? What I do know is that, unlike a lot of the recent superhero movies or just movies in general, there was so much care and emotion put into every crevice of Guardians of the Galaxy as a production, that it is objectively okay at its worst. I hate to say it is the movie that has everything, but it basically does. Its comedy is persistently funny after seeing it however many fucking times I have seen it. Its tear-jerking moments still hit me just as hard. Its visuals are easily some of the best computer-generated 3D visuals in most movies, not only of its decade but ever. Even the motion-capture for a fucking raccoon makes most of these stupid modern shooter video games look laughable in comparison. Its romantic subplot is not just for the main man to get his dick wet but more importantly it focuses on pointing out flaws and insecurities in two very important characters in the story, arguably the two most important characters. Guardians of the Galaxy is a crazy ride because it doesn't follow a simple hero's journey. It abducts a child and raises him in a directionless world, and that lack of direction works in the best way possible. The main cast is constantly being jerked around by the faults in their past and threats of their future. The main cast members join together and become friends in a way that friends do, only on a way bigger scale that involves gunships and all that. Most of these action movies when characters end up becoming friends despite all of their differences usually just hinge on the simplicity of that sentence and force a fictional friendship with no consequence. The friendship of the main cast makes them stronger and admitting it makes them stronger, but their baggage directly affects all of them by almost killing them. If they hadn't teamed up, a lot of the villains would affect only the characters that brought them along, but together they had to combat all of them. Friendship does mean added strength, but if that strength isn't used for anything then it just falls flat. They all have to keep tabs on each others' dangerous personality faults and the demons they carry from their past, in the form of actual villains, some of which just happen to be carrying infinity stones and can blow up entire cities to build up into entire worlds.
The movie does beg for a sequel, but not in the way where it negatively effects the rest of the movie. Vol 2. could have never been made and Guardians of the Galaxy would still be a great movie where further adventures are just an idea that adds to the ending. But of course, with this stupid cinematic universe thing, they are going to have to reuse these characters in other movies where they are completely out of place just for the sake of crossing over for the cha-ching. Oh well.
I made this because I think to study storytelling, you have to go way back. Do you have to go to Egypt and translate ancient tablets? No. You just have to see more examples of the things you like and hate evolving from something else that you also might love and hate. Comparing the old to the new is important because you wouldn't be able to make the new so easily if we all just completely forgot about the old. We would make mistakes that older media would make again. Especially in film, which in comparison to literature, theater, visual art, and music is a pretty new art form. I feel we are still working out a lot of the kinks and a lot of it just comes down to being aware of origins and what's current and why that's important to you as a creative person, or maybe even just as a consumer. Also, I like to spout out my opinions on the internet to try to convince you that I'm smart and know shit about movie production.
Only Games I Give a Crap About in 2018
I did this last year and then revisited the list in late December and it was fun to write and surprisingly fun to look back on. Since this blog has somehow lasted long enough for me to make something annual, welcome to the 2018 edition of me preemptively judging games that I haven't played.
DIGIMON STORY: CYBER SLEUTH - HACKER'S MEMORY (PS4)
Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth is still one of my favorite games that I own for PS4. It's not that it really does anything revolutionary in the RPG genre or even for Digimon. This is, however, probably one of the best Digimon games ever made. That isn't saying much because most Digimon games are pretty broken. Cyber Sleuth wasn't without it's faults but it was a very solid RPG with a decently gripping narrative and some genuinely funny moments. It never really felt grindy to me either. Hacker's Memory looks about the same game. I'm really scared that they are just going to microwave the first game and make it again but hopefully I'm wrong. Even so, of all of the games to rehash for a quick buck, Cyber Sleuth would be one that I wouldn't be infuriated by.
DISSIDIA FINAL FANTASY NT (PS4)
Dissidia has always seemed like a really cool concept to me and being able to pit Terra, Squall, Cloud, Sephiroth, and a bunch of other people together is a weeb's dream, to say the least. I never had a PSP so I could only enjoy the original Dissidia through YouTube footage of what potential the game had. When I heard they were porting it to console, I got really excited, really fast. Upon further reflection and research it seems they are unfortunately taking a page from the book of Capcom and making separate versions of the release. Certain versions have more characters and they haven't really specified which ones are on which versions. On top of this, there are certain characters that were in the original Dissidia that appear missing from the Dissidia official website. For example: Squall, last I checked was not on the website. Are you really going to market a Final Fantasy fighting game to edgelords and leave Squall as a bonus character that they have to spend money on? I really hope I'm wrong because Dissidia looks very fun and unique. I usually don't get excited for fighting games that aren't Super Smash Bros. so please Square Enix! Please don't make me incredibly disappointed in you!
KIRBY STAR ALLIES (Switch)
I fucking love Kirby. Kirby has been going down a similar road that Mario has been going down where they have just been streamlining each new installment and nothing too exciting or refreshing has happened. From what I've played and seen of both since the Wii era, I can say Kirby has not been doing as bad or pandering as Mario, and this gives me hope for Kirby Star Allies. It looks very visually appealing and although nothing crazy groundbreaking for the series has been shown yet, they are implementing some very interesting mixes of mechanics from older games and some new powers that I'm very curious to see play out. The only problem is I do not own nor do I want to own a Switch. I think the console is an overhyped nuisance and it's game library is stifled to insulting. But between Breath of the Wild, this game, and the recently announced Bayonetta 3, they may or may not have my materialistic hands tied. Truth be told on a more personal note, I have way too many games on my shelf right now that I haven't beaten, so I can hold off on games for a while. Let's say they start developing say Super Smash Bros 5 or something and it actually looks good and new to some degree, they will definitely have me at hook in mouth. Hell, at this point, you could really sell me on Smash Bros and Kirby if they come up with Smash 5 because that's just how much I love Kirby platformers.
FORTNITE (PC)
I haven't played Fortnite yet but it sounds like it's just a rip-off of Player Unknown's Battlegrounds. Usually, I hate it when developers rip off of other developers in any sense but for one, a 100-man battle royale with guns and slight survival mechanics is a fun idea but not a very nuanced or genre-shattering one. For a second point, PUBG has supposedly been a mess since launch and on its full release was somehow worse. Fortnite, from what little I know of it, seems to actually function and have virtually all of the same things that make PUBG fun without having to spend any money to start having fun. On top of that Fortnite has technically not hit 1.0 release yet, hence how it is allowed on this list. Even if you are a huge fan of PUBG or like it over Fortnite, you can at least see why I find Fortnite to be way more appealing to try out of the two, I'm sure. Unlike most of the games that I get excited for I actually have friends who will probably play this one with me frequently too, making it even more enticing.
KINGDOM HEARTS III (PS4) (let's try this again, Squeenix)
Square Enix is making me look like a fanboy jackass. On this blog and in my own real life I keep bringing up Kingdom Hearts III and how it is going to be one of the only games I feel like I absolutely need to purchase coming out soon and the damn thing just keeps getting pushed back. Good on them for this decision on paper because I'm really getting sick of companies dishing out a deadline to their development team knowing that the game is faulty and just letting future patches take care of it. On the other hand there is no guarantee that they are fixing anything notable or doing anything beneficial to the game. We wouldn't know this to be factual or falsehood even if they weren't being super vague about most things in the game as is. Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't even be shocked or upset if they pushed it back to 2019. I feel like I've been thrown around in a pool of my own adolescent disappointment since Dream Drop came out in 2012 so as it stands now... whatever... whatever is my stance on the game finally coming out. In other words, I'll believe it when I see it... but replace "believe" with "get irrationally excited".
RED DEAD REDEMPTION 2 (PS4)
Oh yeah. I guess they're making a second Red Dead. I never beat the first one but I did enjoy the many hours I sunk into it and will say it is easily one of my top three favorite Rockstar games if not my absolute favorite. Yes, even rivaling Grand Theft Auto 5. I don't know how excited I really am for a sequel but if I hear that it is actually pretty phenomenal then I might spend way too much money to give it a whirl.
THE WORLD ENDS WITH YOU -FINAL REMIX- (Switch)
I give a crap about this game but not for the reasons that I usually do for the other ones on the list. I'm actually a bit pissed. The World Ends With You is a very special game to me and one of my favorite RPG's ever made. Part of what made it stand out is its ridiculous control scheme that in my opinion can only be delivered through the dual screen systems they were designed for. The Switch has a portable option and I already read that the game will let you change views between Neku and your partner or something like that. This entirely defeats the purpose of the original game, not just in combat, but in overworld exploration and almost every single other thing I can think of. Even the stupid pin mini-game will probably not be as fun anymore! If you don't like it, don't buy it, I hear you say... in my head... Fine. Again, I don't even own a Switch. That is the reason you don't hear me ranting too often about things like Pokken Tournament, Shovel Knight, or Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze getting Switch ports. Even if a few new elements are added, they are still virtually the same game and have come out recently enough to have nearly identical control schemes. TWEWY is one of the few games in history to have a gimmicky control scheme and simultaneously pull off a unique and gripping story AND be an innovative and well-designed game. So what's the real problem here? Nobody gave a fuck about it! This game has a dedicated cult-following, which I guess is a decent reason for a Switch port? But the reason it has a cult following and not just a normal following like more popular IP's is because, at least over here in the states, it got zero traction. Even Nintendo Power magazine, back when that was something people cared about, talked it up and did articles and a review on it, its sales still weren't so hot. I can't blame people for not being instantly enthralled with the idea of TWEWY. I can even see it being intimidating or just generally unattractive at first glance. I think this means that they will release this decade-old game that didn't leave that big of an impact and make a worse version of it. Since it is the most recent version and nobody played the DS version, its legacy won't be the masterpiece that I bought on release day; it will be that one weird Switch game with Kingdom Hearts pixel art and shitty controls. My advice? Dust off your DS and find a cheap copy of the original. Save yourself the trouble. I'm glad they're adding new scenarios and whatever but why on Switch? Maybe I'm being overly presumptuous and it won't be that bad. They are taking one of the few games on the planet that I have a deep emotional attachment to and stringing it up on a cross. They better resurrect it in three days and make it so glorious that people make a holiday out of it, or I'm gonna be pissed. Did I just compare a DS cartridge to Jesus Christ?
BAYONETTA 3 (Switch)
I really liked Bayonetta 1 and 2. I bought them on impulse not too long after I got my Wii U and have fond memories of both games. I thought they were both equally pretty great for different reasons from one another. I thought though, based on where the plot went, there could never be a Bayonetta 3. I got really pumped at the short teaser, even though it's just a really glowy number. Then I was slapped in the face with the reality that since Nintendo owns Bayonetta now, and the Wii U is essentially dead, Bayonetta 3 will be exclusive to Switch. Fuck you... but well played. If they can release enough shit that interests me, they will coax me into buying a Switch, even though I really do NOT want one. At this point, as I said above, if they make a new Super Smash Bros., I will gladly buy a Switch, Breath of the Wild, Kirby Star Allies, and Bayonetta 3. You're starting to twist my arm and I don't like it, Nintendo. I dun liek it wun bit...
THE LAST OF US PART 2 (PS4)
I honestly almost forgot to put this here. The Last of Us was a fairly unique, intense, and overall enjoyable experience. I thought that upon release it was one of the best games I had ever played and from a design standpoint it was nearly perfect. Since then my views have changed but I still think it is worth revisiting and an above average game. I'm really interested to see, if only in story depiction, where they go with a second installment. I like the fact that several years have passed already and I haven't seen much more on it. I will say this is one of the games I am the most excited for this year, if it even comes out this year. Nothing beats Kingdom Hearts III though. But this and Digimon are the only games on this list where I'm thinking "alright, if they do this right, they have earned my purchase". The rest of them are like "yeah, okay, that's pretty cool, I guess".
So all in all, based on that last statement, you can tell that I'm not super pumped for 2018's future games so far. Maybe I'll be proven wrong. Did I miss anything? Don't say Monster Hunter World. I'm sure that game will be awesome, I just don't want to invest time into Monster Hunter right now. Did I miss anything that isn't Monster Hunter World? Tell meh! TELL MEEE PLEASE! In any case I hope that I am pleasantly surprised by the games on this list. On top of all this, the game industry works in mysterious ways, especially when indie developers are in question. If something else grabs me, I'll tell you about it next Winter. Thanks for reading! New videos coming soon on my YouTube channel so check that out too. I guess. Whenever they come out.
DIGIMON STORY: CYBER SLEUTH - HACKER'S MEMORY (PS4)
Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth is still one of my favorite games that I own for PS4. It's not that it really does anything revolutionary in the RPG genre or even for Digimon. This is, however, probably one of the best Digimon games ever made. That isn't saying much because most Digimon games are pretty broken. Cyber Sleuth wasn't without it's faults but it was a very solid RPG with a decently gripping narrative and some genuinely funny moments. It never really felt grindy to me either. Hacker's Memory looks about the same game. I'm really scared that they are just going to microwave the first game and make it again but hopefully I'm wrong. Even so, of all of the games to rehash for a quick buck, Cyber Sleuth would be one that I wouldn't be infuriated by.
DISSIDIA FINAL FANTASY NT (PS4)
Dissidia has always seemed like a really cool concept to me and being able to pit Terra, Squall, Cloud, Sephiroth, and a bunch of other people together is a weeb's dream, to say the least. I never had a PSP so I could only enjoy the original Dissidia through YouTube footage of what potential the game had. When I heard they were porting it to console, I got really excited, really fast. Upon further reflection and research it seems they are unfortunately taking a page from the book of Capcom and making separate versions of the release. Certain versions have more characters and they haven't really specified which ones are on which versions. On top of this, there are certain characters that were in the original Dissidia that appear missing from the Dissidia official website. For example: Squall, last I checked was not on the website. Are you really going to market a Final Fantasy fighting game to edgelords and leave Squall as a bonus character that they have to spend money on? I really hope I'm wrong because Dissidia looks very fun and unique. I usually don't get excited for fighting games that aren't Super Smash Bros. so please Square Enix! Please don't make me incredibly disappointed in you!
KIRBY STAR ALLIES (Switch)
I fucking love Kirby. Kirby has been going down a similar road that Mario has been going down where they have just been streamlining each new installment and nothing too exciting or refreshing has happened. From what I've played and seen of both since the Wii era, I can say Kirby has not been doing as bad or pandering as Mario, and this gives me hope for Kirby Star Allies. It looks very visually appealing and although nothing crazy groundbreaking for the series has been shown yet, they are implementing some very interesting mixes of mechanics from older games and some new powers that I'm very curious to see play out. The only problem is I do not own nor do I want to own a Switch. I think the console is an overhyped nuisance and it's game library is stifled to insulting. But between Breath of the Wild, this game, and the recently announced Bayonetta 3, they may or may not have my materialistic hands tied. Truth be told on a more personal note, I have way too many games on my shelf right now that I haven't beaten, so I can hold off on games for a while. Let's say they start developing say Super Smash Bros 5 or something and it actually looks good and new to some degree, they will definitely have me at hook in mouth. Hell, at this point, you could really sell me on Smash Bros and Kirby if they come up with Smash 5 because that's just how much I love Kirby platformers.
FORTNITE (PC)
I haven't played Fortnite yet but it sounds like it's just a rip-off of Player Unknown's Battlegrounds. Usually, I hate it when developers rip off of other developers in any sense but for one, a 100-man battle royale with guns and slight survival mechanics is a fun idea but not a very nuanced or genre-shattering one. For a second point, PUBG has supposedly been a mess since launch and on its full release was somehow worse. Fortnite, from what little I know of it, seems to actually function and have virtually all of the same things that make PUBG fun without having to spend any money to start having fun. On top of that Fortnite has technically not hit 1.0 release yet, hence how it is allowed on this list. Even if you are a huge fan of PUBG or like it over Fortnite, you can at least see why I find Fortnite to be way more appealing to try out of the two, I'm sure. Unlike most of the games that I get excited for I actually have friends who will probably play this one with me frequently too, making it even more enticing.
KINGDOM HEARTS III (PS4) (let's try this again, Squeenix)
Square Enix is making me look like a fanboy jackass. On this blog and in my own real life I keep bringing up Kingdom Hearts III and how it is going to be one of the only games I feel like I absolutely need to purchase coming out soon and the damn thing just keeps getting pushed back. Good on them for this decision on paper because I'm really getting sick of companies dishing out a deadline to their development team knowing that the game is faulty and just letting future patches take care of it. On the other hand there is no guarantee that they are fixing anything notable or doing anything beneficial to the game. We wouldn't know this to be factual or falsehood even if they weren't being super vague about most things in the game as is. Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't even be shocked or upset if they pushed it back to 2019. I feel like I've been thrown around in a pool of my own adolescent disappointment since Dream Drop came out in 2012 so as it stands now... whatever... whatever is my stance on the game finally coming out. In other words, I'll believe it when I see it... but replace "believe" with "get irrationally excited".
RED DEAD REDEMPTION 2 (PS4)
Oh yeah. I guess they're making a second Red Dead. I never beat the first one but I did enjoy the many hours I sunk into it and will say it is easily one of my top three favorite Rockstar games if not my absolute favorite. Yes, even rivaling Grand Theft Auto 5. I don't know how excited I really am for a sequel but if I hear that it is actually pretty phenomenal then I might spend way too much money to give it a whirl.
THE WORLD ENDS WITH YOU -FINAL REMIX- (Switch)
I give a crap about this game but not for the reasons that I usually do for the other ones on the list. I'm actually a bit pissed. The World Ends With You is a very special game to me and one of my favorite RPG's ever made. Part of what made it stand out is its ridiculous control scheme that in my opinion can only be delivered through the dual screen systems they were designed for. The Switch has a portable option and I already read that the game will let you change views between Neku and your partner or something like that. This entirely defeats the purpose of the original game, not just in combat, but in overworld exploration and almost every single other thing I can think of. Even the stupid pin mini-game will probably not be as fun anymore! If you don't like it, don't buy it, I hear you say... in my head... Fine. Again, I don't even own a Switch. That is the reason you don't hear me ranting too often about things like Pokken Tournament, Shovel Knight, or Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze getting Switch ports. Even if a few new elements are added, they are still virtually the same game and have come out recently enough to have nearly identical control schemes. TWEWY is one of the few games in history to have a gimmicky control scheme and simultaneously pull off a unique and gripping story AND be an innovative and well-designed game. So what's the real problem here? Nobody gave a fuck about it! This game has a dedicated cult-following, which I guess is a decent reason for a Switch port? But the reason it has a cult following and not just a normal following like more popular IP's is because, at least over here in the states, it got zero traction. Even Nintendo Power magazine, back when that was something people cared about, talked it up and did articles and a review on it, its sales still weren't so hot. I can't blame people for not being instantly enthralled with the idea of TWEWY. I can even see it being intimidating or just generally unattractive at first glance. I think this means that they will release this decade-old game that didn't leave that big of an impact and make a worse version of it. Since it is the most recent version and nobody played the DS version, its legacy won't be the masterpiece that I bought on release day; it will be that one weird Switch game with Kingdom Hearts pixel art and shitty controls. My advice? Dust off your DS and find a cheap copy of the original. Save yourself the trouble. I'm glad they're adding new scenarios and whatever but why on Switch? Maybe I'm being overly presumptuous and it won't be that bad. They are taking one of the few games on the planet that I have a deep emotional attachment to and stringing it up on a cross. They better resurrect it in three days and make it so glorious that people make a holiday out of it, or I'm gonna be pissed. Did I just compare a DS cartridge to Jesus Christ?
BAYONETTA 3 (Switch)
I really liked Bayonetta 1 and 2. I bought them on impulse not too long after I got my Wii U and have fond memories of both games. I thought they were both equally pretty great for different reasons from one another. I thought though, based on where the plot went, there could never be a Bayonetta 3. I got really pumped at the short teaser, even though it's just a really glowy number. Then I was slapped in the face with the reality that since Nintendo owns Bayonetta now, and the Wii U is essentially dead, Bayonetta 3 will be exclusive to Switch. Fuck you... but well played. If they can release enough shit that interests me, they will coax me into buying a Switch, even though I really do NOT want one. At this point, as I said above, if they make a new Super Smash Bros., I will gladly buy a Switch, Breath of the Wild, Kirby Star Allies, and Bayonetta 3. You're starting to twist my arm and I don't like it, Nintendo. I dun liek it wun bit...
THE LAST OF US PART 2 (PS4)
I honestly almost forgot to put this here. The Last of Us was a fairly unique, intense, and overall enjoyable experience. I thought that upon release it was one of the best games I had ever played and from a design standpoint it was nearly perfect. Since then my views have changed but I still think it is worth revisiting and an above average game. I'm really interested to see, if only in story depiction, where they go with a second installment. I like the fact that several years have passed already and I haven't seen much more on it. I will say this is one of the games I am the most excited for this year, if it even comes out this year. Nothing beats Kingdom Hearts III though. But this and Digimon are the only games on this list where I'm thinking "alright, if they do this right, they have earned my purchase". The rest of them are like "yeah, okay, that's pretty cool, I guess".
So all in all, based on that last statement, you can tell that I'm not super pumped for 2018's future games so far. Maybe I'll be proven wrong. Did I miss anything? Don't say Monster Hunter World. I'm sure that game will be awesome, I just don't want to invest time into Monster Hunter right now. Did I miss anything that isn't Monster Hunter World? Tell meh! TELL MEEE PLEASE! In any case I hope that I am pleasantly surprised by the games on this list. On top of all this, the game industry works in mysterious ways, especially when indie developers are in question. If something else grabs me, I'll tell you about it next Winter. Thanks for reading! New videos coming soon on my YouTube channel so check that out too. I guess. Whenever they come out.
"Only Games I Give a Crap About in 2017" Revisited
I just stumbled on an old post I made about games that were coming out this year and how interested I was to see where they would go. Here's an update on those since a lot of them are out now.
NIDHOGG 2
Didn't bother. It looks like Nidhogg with uglier graphics. There are notable changes, but I really don't care enough.
PROJECT SONIC 2017
Sonic Forces.... nope... fuck all that shit. I haven't played it. I have no desire to. I think even if you are a Sonic fan, you know why and have to agree that it's at least fair. It is at least fair to assume that the game will make me angry and therefore you can't blame me for avoiding it.
MARVEL VS CAPCOM: INFINITE
Capcom can suck my dick. You have to pay like, what, $80 to have the game and all of its characters. But as a game, it looks too similar to MvC3 and I wasn't crazy about that one to begin with. This is really sad because MvC2 is one of my favorite fighting games ever and there are a lot of cool characters in Infinite. Too bad. Sorry, Capcom. You won't be stealing my lunch money this day!
THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD
I didn't play much of it, but its fun (I played the Switch version). I don't think it is as good as people are saying it is, but I think that about every Zelda game because everyone pumps up the games to god tier. Breath of the Wild only pisses me off with its stamina system. I don't mind the food system. I like the weapon wearing system. The controls feel great. The visuals, frame rate drops aside, are great. It's really almost everything you could want in a Zelda game and I didn't care enough to buy it, but what little I did play was enjoyable. I think it is a worthy addition to the series. But I don't like Ocarina so I don't have the right to say that, do I? BRB, fucking myself.
SHINESS: THE LIGHTNING KINGDOM
I'm sorry, Shiness developers. I still haven't gotten around to this one, but I want to. I didn't want to get it on the recent Steam sale because if I finally get around to it, I want to do a full-price purchase or at least a very small discount.
KINGDOM HEARTS 2.8 HD FINAL CHAPTER PROLOGUE
No complaints here. The Dream Drop Distance remaster is really clean and fun and Fragmentary was fucking great. If KHIII is anything like Fragmentary, it will be my new favorite game in the franchise, barre none.
SONIC MANIA
Sonic Mania exceeded every expectation I had and it's still fun to fuck around with every once in a while now. It's not my favorite Sonic game, but it has a strong argument for the best. It was made by fans with a budget. In other words, it was made by people who actually gave a fuck. Play Sonic Mania. You can thank me later.
PIT PEOPLE
Yep. Still haven't played this one either. Whoops.
YOOKA-LAYLEE
What a huge damn disappointment. I don't completely hate Yooka-Laylee but at the same time fuck Yooka-Laylee and fuck me for being so excited for it in the first place. I feel violated by a green, personality-less chameleon...
KINGDOM HEARTS III
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Um... what other games came out in 2017 that I got and thought were fun?
SHOVEL KNIGHT: SPECTER OF TORMENT
This is one of my new favorite games ever. No, I'm not joking. It's fucking amazing. If you like platformers, you are doing yourself the biggest disservice by not playing Specter of Torment. It's worth the price of everything else you get by buying Shovel Knight. If they greedily released it as its own game, I would still buy it. It was free DLC. Fuck you, Yacht Club TAKE MY MONEY!!!
A HAT IN TIME
This is such a great game. I bought it day one as kind of a "fuck it, why not?" It is one of the best games I've ever played. I sound like Buzzfeed or something stupid right now but trust me, A Hat in Time is fantastic. It isn't super time-consuming either unless you are a mad-man like me and want to complete the game.
CRASH BANDICOOT N. SANE TRILOGY
Okay, I couldn't think of anything else. No, for real. I think N. Sane Trilogy is pointless. Crash 2 and Crash Warped are two of my favorite games of all time and I can say with certainty that the N. Sane versions are objectively worse. However, Crash 1 is a bit more of a gray area. There are many things that I personally believe were greatly improved with this bitch of a game. If you can find it pretty cheap, it might be worth it just to have a playable version of Crash 1?????????
HORIZON: ZERO DAWN
I didn't really like Horizon: Zero Dawn...
Yeah, that's it. What other games came out in 2017 that were super gosh dang dope?
Hopefully I'll do this next year too but honestly, meh. Kingdom Hearts III and Dissidia NT (and maybe The Last of Us Part II?) are the only games that strike my fancy coming out in 2018. Let me know if I'm missing something. Strike my fancy!
NIDHOGG 2
Didn't bother. It looks like Nidhogg with uglier graphics. There are notable changes, but I really don't care enough.
PROJECT SONIC 2017
Sonic Forces.... nope... fuck all that shit. I haven't played it. I have no desire to. I think even if you are a Sonic fan, you know why and have to agree that it's at least fair. It is at least fair to assume that the game will make me angry and therefore you can't blame me for avoiding it.
MARVEL VS CAPCOM: INFINITE
Capcom can suck my dick. You have to pay like, what, $80 to have the game and all of its characters. But as a game, it looks too similar to MvC3 and I wasn't crazy about that one to begin with. This is really sad because MvC2 is one of my favorite fighting games ever and there are a lot of cool characters in Infinite. Too bad. Sorry, Capcom. You won't be stealing my lunch money this day!
THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD
I didn't play much of it, but its fun (I played the Switch version). I don't think it is as good as people are saying it is, but I think that about every Zelda game because everyone pumps up the games to god tier. Breath of the Wild only pisses me off with its stamina system. I don't mind the food system. I like the weapon wearing system. The controls feel great. The visuals, frame rate drops aside, are great. It's really almost everything you could want in a Zelda game and I didn't care enough to buy it, but what little I did play was enjoyable. I think it is a worthy addition to the series. But I don't like Ocarina so I don't have the right to say that, do I? BRB, fucking myself.
SHINESS: THE LIGHTNING KINGDOM
I'm sorry, Shiness developers. I still haven't gotten around to this one, but I want to. I didn't want to get it on the recent Steam sale because if I finally get around to it, I want to do a full-price purchase or at least a very small discount.
KINGDOM HEARTS 2.8 HD FINAL CHAPTER PROLOGUE
No complaints here. The Dream Drop Distance remaster is really clean and fun and Fragmentary was fucking great. If KHIII is anything like Fragmentary, it will be my new favorite game in the franchise, barre none.
SONIC MANIA
Sonic Mania exceeded every expectation I had and it's still fun to fuck around with every once in a while now. It's not my favorite Sonic game, but it has a strong argument for the best. It was made by fans with a budget. In other words, it was made by people who actually gave a fuck. Play Sonic Mania. You can thank me later.
PIT PEOPLE
Yep. Still haven't played this one either. Whoops.
YOOKA-LAYLEE
What a huge damn disappointment. I don't completely hate Yooka-Laylee but at the same time fuck Yooka-Laylee and fuck me for being so excited for it in the first place. I feel violated by a green, personality-less chameleon...
KINGDOM HEARTS III
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Um... what other games came out in 2017 that I got and thought were fun?
SHOVEL KNIGHT: SPECTER OF TORMENT
This is one of my new favorite games ever. No, I'm not joking. It's fucking amazing. If you like platformers, you are doing yourself the biggest disservice by not playing Specter of Torment. It's worth the price of everything else you get by buying Shovel Knight. If they greedily released it as its own game, I would still buy it. It was free DLC. Fuck you, Yacht Club TAKE MY MONEY!!!
A HAT IN TIME
This is such a great game. I bought it day one as kind of a "fuck it, why not?" It is one of the best games I've ever played. I sound like Buzzfeed or something stupid right now but trust me, A Hat in Time is fantastic. It isn't super time-consuming either unless you are a mad-man like me and want to complete the game.
CRASH BANDICOOT N. SANE TRILOGY
Okay, I couldn't think of anything else. No, for real. I think N. Sane Trilogy is pointless. Crash 2 and Crash Warped are two of my favorite games of all time and I can say with certainty that the N. Sane versions are objectively worse. However, Crash 1 is a bit more of a gray area. There are many things that I personally believe were greatly improved with this bitch of a game. If you can find it pretty cheap, it might be worth it just to have a playable version of Crash 1?????????
HORIZON: ZERO DAWN
I didn't really like Horizon: Zero Dawn...
Yeah, that's it. What other games came out in 2017 that were super gosh dang dope?
Hopefully I'll do this next year too but honestly, meh. Kingdom Hearts III and Dissidia NT (and maybe The Last of Us Part II?) are the only games that strike my fancy coming out in 2018. Let me know if I'm missing something. Strike my fancy!
Sonic Questions I found from @wounkun
Some Twitter account labeled @wounkun posted this survey kind of thing. Spazkid (check him out if you haven't) retweeted it and I thought it was kind of interesting to see what kinds of general consensuses people did or did not mutually come to.
My Sonic background: Sonic 2 was, to my memory, the first video game I ever played and it made me want more. I started to make my own creative things (music, cartoons, scripts/stories) based on stuff I saw in video games because I was so enthralled with the medium and how it tied in so many other forms of media to make a whole new work of art. I'm not one of those "the old games were better" kind of guys because I played a lot of the old games (1991-2001) and a lot of the more recent ones. With every great Sonic game there is a wide array of installments that are so-so at the very best. A lot of which are rushed messes though. At least that's just my opinion, to get you started with this thing. Okay, here are my answers:
1. Favorite Sonic Game:
A: Sonic 2, though I'm usually torn between 2 and 3.
2. BEST Sonic Game:
A: Sonic Mania. It's the only Sonic game where I have to go hypercritical to think of flaws.
3. Worst Sonic Game:
A: Everyone knows it's Sonic '06 so to not be boring I'll say the runner-up is probably either Shadow the Hedgehog or Unleashed on Wii.
4. Best Adventure Game:
A: Adventure 2, assuming Sonic Rush Adventure doesn't count.
5. Best Boost Engine Game:
A: Sonic Generations. The only ones I can think of that even come close are Colors and Rush Adventure. Rush Adventure's mini-games aren't as fun as Generations' and Colors' alien color mechanic was too contrived.
6. Best Classic Game:
A: Sonic 3 & Knuckles
7. Most Underrated Game:
A: Sonic Rush Adventure
8. Most Challenging Game:
A: Again, Sonic '06 for the wrong reasons. I would say the most consistently challenging while still being varied, albeit sometimes also for the wrong reasons: Sonic and the Secret Rings? Sonic Advance 2 and 3 if you don't want to count "bullshit" as a challenge.
9: Favorite Sonictuber:
A: I guess Tails' Channel. I don't really like channels that focus on one game series or topic, even it is one I like or find interesting. Tails' Channel is news, sometimes presented in a fun way. Even when it's not super entertaining, it's practical.
10: Favorite Character:
A: Sadly, probably Shadow... I know.
11: Least Favorite Character:
A: Amy. Fuck Amy.
12: Most Annoying Character:
A: Still Amy. Even Charmy, who is supposed to be annoying by design, ends up rattling my skull less than Amy.
13: Favorite Playable Character (in what game?):
A: That's really broad. I guess Sonic in almost any combination in Sonic Advance 3?
14: Favorite Fan Game:
A: Does Sonic Mania count? I don't really play the fan games but Utopia looks promising.
15: Least Favorite Sonictuber:
A: Basically all of them. I really can't single out just one. Sorry, "Sonictubers".
16: Do you want more playable characters? If so, who?
A: Again, really broad. It depends on the general focus of the game and if it has multiplayer or a reason to have multiple characters at all. So in the case that the answer may be yes, I really like Blaze, Metal Sonic, Shadow, and Espio. Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles are some of the only characters that have powers and backstories of their own. Most of the other characters in terms of ability (other than the seven I just mentioned and Silver) are typically just worse versions of Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles.
17: Favorite "Alternative" Gameplay:
A: Any special stage in Mania.
18: Favorite Sonic YouTube Video:
A: Knuckles Chaotix by Egoraptor.
19: Favorite Sonic Song:
A: Tie between Emerald Hill from Sonic 2 and Ex-Boss from Sonic Advance 3.
20: Least Favorite Playable Character:
A: Big from Sonic Adventure 1. No, I'm serious.
21: Do you dislike the Sonic community?
A: I dislike people using the Internet's general anonymity for excusable aggression. Asking if someone dislikes the Sonic fanbase is a loaded question, and because Sonic is such a varied, popular, and long-running franchise, generalizing them is like trying to generalize the world's population. I sometimes make videos about Sonic, listen to the soundtracks, and occasionally play the games. Sometimes I even enjoy them! So by these similarities, I'm in the same boat as a hypothetical artist who draws homosexual Sonic-themed porn, am I not? It's the people that try to pick fights with people over Sonic that make me avoid the community and I think a lot of people would agree with that. So the short answer to that loaded question is "no", but I think the question is important so people will study internet/video game culture as a whole.
My Sonic background: Sonic 2 was, to my memory, the first video game I ever played and it made me want more. I started to make my own creative things (music, cartoons, scripts/stories) based on stuff I saw in video games because I was so enthralled with the medium and how it tied in so many other forms of media to make a whole new work of art. I'm not one of those "the old games were better" kind of guys because I played a lot of the old games (1991-2001) and a lot of the more recent ones. With every great Sonic game there is a wide array of installments that are so-so at the very best. A lot of which are rushed messes though. At least that's just my opinion, to get you started with this thing. Okay, here are my answers:
1. Favorite Sonic Game:
A: Sonic 2, though I'm usually torn between 2 and 3.
2. BEST Sonic Game:
A: Sonic Mania. It's the only Sonic game where I have to go hypercritical to think of flaws.
3. Worst Sonic Game:
A: Everyone knows it's Sonic '06 so to not be boring I'll say the runner-up is probably either Shadow the Hedgehog or Unleashed on Wii.
4. Best Adventure Game:
A: Adventure 2, assuming Sonic Rush Adventure doesn't count.
5. Best Boost Engine Game:
A: Sonic Generations. The only ones I can think of that even come close are Colors and Rush Adventure. Rush Adventure's mini-games aren't as fun as Generations' and Colors' alien color mechanic was too contrived.
6. Best Classic Game:
A: Sonic 3 & Knuckles
7. Most Underrated Game:
A: Sonic Rush Adventure
8. Most Challenging Game:
A: Again, Sonic '06 for the wrong reasons. I would say the most consistently challenging while still being varied, albeit sometimes also for the wrong reasons: Sonic and the Secret Rings? Sonic Advance 2 and 3 if you don't want to count "bullshit" as a challenge.
9: Favorite Sonictuber:
A: I guess Tails' Channel. I don't really like channels that focus on one game series or topic, even it is one I like or find interesting. Tails' Channel is news, sometimes presented in a fun way. Even when it's not super entertaining, it's practical.
10: Favorite Character:
A: Sadly, probably Shadow... I know.
11: Least Favorite Character:
A: Amy. Fuck Amy.
12: Most Annoying Character:
A: Still Amy. Even Charmy, who is supposed to be annoying by design, ends up rattling my skull less than Amy.
13: Favorite Playable Character (in what game?):
A: That's really broad. I guess Sonic in almost any combination in Sonic Advance 3?
14: Favorite Fan Game:
A: Does Sonic Mania count? I don't really play the fan games but Utopia looks promising.
15: Least Favorite Sonictuber:
A: Basically all of them. I really can't single out just one. Sorry, "Sonictubers".
16: Do you want more playable characters? If so, who?
A: Again, really broad. It depends on the general focus of the game and if it has multiplayer or a reason to have multiple characters at all. So in the case that the answer may be yes, I really like Blaze, Metal Sonic, Shadow, and Espio. Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles are some of the only characters that have powers and backstories of their own. Most of the other characters in terms of ability (other than the seven I just mentioned and Silver) are typically just worse versions of Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles.
17: Favorite "Alternative" Gameplay:
A: Any special stage in Mania.
18: Favorite Sonic YouTube Video:
A: Knuckles Chaotix by Egoraptor.
19: Favorite Sonic Song:
A: Tie between Emerald Hill from Sonic 2 and Ex-Boss from Sonic Advance 3.
20: Least Favorite Playable Character:
A: Big from Sonic Adventure 1. No, I'm serious.
21: Do you dislike the Sonic community?
A: I dislike people using the Internet's general anonymity for excusable aggression. Asking if someone dislikes the Sonic fanbase is a loaded question, and because Sonic is such a varied, popular, and long-running franchise, generalizing them is like trying to generalize the world's population. I sometimes make videos about Sonic, listen to the soundtracks, and occasionally play the games. Sometimes I even enjoy them! So by these similarities, I'm in the same boat as a hypothetical artist who draws homosexual Sonic-themed porn, am I not? It's the people that try to pick fights with people over Sonic that make me avoid the community and I think a lot of people would agree with that. So the short answer to that loaded question is "no", but I think the question is important so people will study internet/video game culture as a whole.
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